A Day at Sultanpur

For those who think I am talking about a day spent at someone’s posh farm house like last Saturday, it was certainly not so- it was spent at the bird sanctuary.

It was K’s second trip and A’s first. Of course K had just about turned two, so he had no recollection of ever being there- pretty much like A right now. Of course N was duly invited and instantly wanted to come along. So we set out, a picnic ready sans any fancy picnic cane basket, the kinds you read about in books or see in movies!

The food was substantial- boiled eggs, fresh coleslaw, bread, loads of chips, funflips, m & m’s, juices, and plenty of fresh fruit- giant red grapes, oranges, pomegranates, guavas and more! The spirits were high. The weather was grey and dark but to Delhi people even grey is a shade of romantic- something to do with the hot horrible summers and the wonderfully refreshing monsoons. And of course for a journey of an hour, it took us close to two, so by the time we reached, it was a quarter past one. 

After waiting for my baby to wake up and the rain to subside, we loaded up the stroller with stuff, the kids with windproof jackets and set off.

Oh it is a beautiful place. Even in the April heat last time, it was a great green place to spend a morning. Today was just perfect. 

It was a little grey still, and the far off reaches were a little invisible. But the walk along the side of the various water bodies was really charming, even after the initial glitch with these guys not climbing off the watchtower etc and me shouting like a banshee as usual.

But after that it was as close to ideal as it could possibly be, with A and I actually having a conversation, some semblance of planning if not our lives, our vacations for the next year. The children ran happily along and we were so beautifully content that we even called up Jaipur to drive out tomorrow. Of course, the plan later seemed a little too much especially as it would involve rushing back, feeding the kids, A’s getting the bike back from servicing and packing into the night to leave early morning.

In fact, even as I write, I do not really know if we go tomorrow morning.

But I also have to outline the route to the sanctuary before I forget as A has duly instructed me. So on the Delhi-Gurgaon road, you carry on till the Hero Honda Chowk, where you swing a right, carry on straight from there and being sure to swing lefts on forks except for the very first one. So you pass really crappy areas and pass this elevated road and finally arrive at this sanctuary which definitely merits a visit every winter.

It is sheer pleasure to see the kinds of birds, I have no idea about the names of the birds, but they were no ordinary birds- that I know for sure. The only spoiler was K’s super tantrum right on the way back to the car!


Well, I have kind of lost the thread to this post thanx to A's non stop chatter, so I will just sign off now!
For those wanting a pic or two, will upload them asap!

Tales of an Indian Mother in Law- I

A lot of novels and stories begin this way- 'if i knew ...blah blah blah...15 years ago...blah blah blah...', so my beginning would also be cliched. But the funny thing is I am living a cliched life! How sad is it to see in words, not just floating around in your mind, being tucked here and there just so I don't really have to say hello and do something about it.
Now I am trying to be poetic and funny.


So here we go again; if 16 years ago someone had told me that this is what my life would be, maybe I would've thought very hard before getting into it. I love my children and would do anything for them, go through anything for them, but this I still would've thought about.
So where does my mother-in-law come into it?
Well, she is root cause of all evil in this very dysfunctional household. What mother would refuse a puja done for their son?
She is the epitome of jealousy, strife and pettiness. I, as a mother now, want nothing more than seeing my two children having fun together; want so desperately for my babies to grow up and remain close to each other; wish fervently that they remain the best of friends as they grow old.


This woman wants nothing of the sort. If my husband and his brother start getting close, it upsets her plans of being the power centre of the house. A close and open relationship between her two sons upsets her as she can't bitch about one to the other.
When I started writing this post, I thought I would be writing a lot. But as I continue, I realise the futility of the exercise. It only highlights my powerlessness to change things. Which grandmother stops talking to her grandchildren because she is upset with the parents? Which grandparent openly shows preference for one set of grandchildren and complete neglect for another set?
Which mother doesn't ask her son, who;s just returned from the hospital where his wife still is after a major surgery, how his wife is or even if he needs to eat a bite? Which woman has no consideration for another who's just given birth and shows no inclination to help?
One of my friends says I am all set to get screwed from both ends (pun not intended): that I have the devil for my mother in law who just doesn't want to help me and that I would be the mother in law who will not be able to do enough for my daughters in law! I hope not. 

I understand now...

...some things which I knew in principal but not otherwise. Things like:

My husband is a man and I mean it in the nicest way possible. What I mean is that men and women are different. And I mean that nicely as well. The inherent difference between men and women barring some of course, is what sank in this week. All my complaints against my husband, I realise now are essentially, complaints against 'MEN' or their basic constitution :-)
A is extremely helpful when it comes to the children, to chores around the house etc- so no complaints there. What I was getting worked up about for the last 16 years, without any improvement on A's part, was the way he is with me.
He uses his head more than his heart when it comes to me, which is why he'll never get me samosas j l t!
He uses his heart and not his head when it comes to his family- parents etc
He mentally shuts down when I talk to him, which is why he doesn't remember anything I say to him.
He never really listens to me when it comes to important matters- sure he listens but never acts about anything.
He is dismissive of my rants- as anyone in their right mind should be.
He still uses 'sweater' and 'phone' in the irritating feminine use very particular of his family- just shows even after 16 years, who he is closer to!

My, when I started writing, I was okay about all this stuff. I was even a little relieved of the stress I've had because of a lot of things recently. But now I am thinking, I have been able to completely change myself. Why couldn't it be the same for men?

MA, You don't love me!

That's what K has started saying on an almost daily rotation. Something that disturbed me so much the first time around that I actually started crying. Something that disturbs me so much still that I start crying.
So why does K say it and why does it make me feel so bad?
K, I guess is now being hit by the jealousy that should've come a year and a half ago when A was born. So, he sees himself as the ignored one- which is just not true at all. But he says it when the smallest of things is refused him and I guess he feels it as well. Because he is just not the one to 'just' say things. And I feel bad for precisely the same reason- that he is not the kind to just say things.

So if I refuse to buy the nth book that he just takes a fancy to, if I tell him to just go ahead and sleep while I put A to bed telling him I will cuddle with him the moment he goes off to the land of sleeping or anything at all, I don't love him.

This evening, A and I had a talk with him which now I feel was a little too heavy for him. And yet, I also think it was required and was important on a level. We, without the least hint of being upset, asked him the reasons he thought we didn't love him anymore. And as he enumerated the reasons, he found himself saying that he'd been saying this in anger and that he knew we loved him. Now whether he actually believes it or was just saying it, remains to be seen.
But I do feel, we got through to him.

Should we have just ignored him and not addressed this issue which clearly has been plaguing him? Should we have taken it for a phase and allowed it to pass- as it undoubtedly will?
We will be facing many more difficult situations like these, should we have just taken it in our stride?

Well, we did what we did. And I will keep all posted as things shape up.
Till then my fingers are crossed and my heart is a heavy, just a teeny tiny bit.

Sunday Brunch Encore

Well the jinx seems to have lifted- at least when we have friends over.

A couple of days ago I decided to have the whole building over for Sunday Brunch. And before anyone starts freaking out, there are four apartments in the building and for the first time, all are occupied. It was nice of all to agree.

So I ran around like a headless chicken, especially after the Christmas party at K's class friend's place (another post on that), finalising the menu, getting the ingredients and making all the initial preparations. Worked for 4 hours non stop- after all I was cooking for 12 adults and four children!

Have decided to give out the recipes to interested people only but will share the menu:

1. Two quiches- spinach and corn with feta and Gouda
2.                        tomato with Gouda and cheddar
3. Waffles with honey and other spreads
4. Oregano Bread along with a German rye one with various cheeses- Gouda, brie and feta
5. Lettuce, mushroom and green bean salad in an olive oil mix with a youghurt/mayo dressing
6. Red grape, cheeku, orange, apple and a guava salad with a strawberry yoghurt dressing
7. Raisin muffins

And I am so glad to say that it was all polished off and very beautifully appreciated.

Like it so much, want to make a regular feature of them- brunches I mean!!!

A full Day

My older son's school broke for the winters and he is at home till the first week of next year. My whole night was spent in dreaming up things to do with him, to alleviate his boredom, to eliminate as much as is possible television from his day and still manage not to die of sheer fatigue. Add to that taking care of my 1 and  1/2 year old as well, cooking, cleaning, washing and general maintenance!

A let me lie in bed this morning and fed the kids their breakfast which is a great start to the day. But after that, it's one thing after the other. My friends mock me and the ones abroad frankly can't believe me when I say I can't get a maid to help me out- after all it's India. I might as well be abroad doing everything myself.
 Anyway, back to my day. So after cleaning up and organising lunch and packing a small picnic, we set off for the Lodhi Gardens. Played their for quite a bit and came back. Fed them lunch and suffered their tantrums. Read for them and mediated between them as they fought. Put out the washing. Had the kids play in the sandpit, grabbed a quick tea at lunchtime, sat for two minutes, got the kids out, washed them and put the younger one to bed. Made dinner for the children while he slept, played with K, helped him do some exercises, fed him. He slept off and woke up in a real foul mood- he hates sleeping in the day. A woke up and wanted to go to the swings, K woke up and didn't. He just wanted a tantrum.

Went to the swings where A joined me with K later and then dinner etc. Yes there's more ,there always is.

Everyone has them.

Professionals have them- working their asses off from morning to night.

Students have them- either at schools or colleges and then with friends or reading up or doing what students do.

Trust me, housewives have them as well. Something that most people, of them insensitive husbands and various other species more than the rest, will not believe. It is generally believed to be child's play- after all you are playing with children all day long, no? No for the umpteenth time- it's not so easy. Which is why, these same people will do anything but spend time with their children, making all kinds of excuses- work, tiredness, inability, death :-)!!!

And this is a note specifically for the women or these days even stay at home dads, who can't really speak up or whose voice is not really heard. As if, there are millions who are reading me and will instantly understand the import of my words. You never know.

My Baby is a Big Boy!

Yes, today my little baby graduated from one class to the next one. And before I am taken for an obsessed mom, which by the way I completely am, this first move from a lower level to the next is probably the most significant one. After this, they only grow older faster- not that they wouldn't have aged otherwise. It's a little difficult to explain, but I am sure people with children know what I am talking about.

From now on start a long series of long school days, home assignments, girlfriend issues- I am hoping they would crop up much later and other such. When did I become a parent? Not the very obvious- when you gave birth to two children you dumbo! I mean, when did I stop being the fun girl I was to the trying to be a fun mom now?

And that's a question I have asked myself frequently and in private over and over again.

Today belongs to K and K alone. My baby is a big boy (with Caries teeth I am told! :-)

Organic Parenting!!!

What a fabulous new term! And I will take complete credit for making this term popular although it wasn't really coined by me.
In keeping with yesterday's thread, I happened to be discussing a similar issue with a colleague of A's, and she turns around and says,' Please do not say anything...you guys are completely organic parents' or something to that effect. And I know exactly what she meant. What she meant was that we are, for what it is, completely hands-on parents.

And in a way given the over all flavor of things, 'Organic Parents' seems to hit the perfect note. As all things organic, organic parenting should also be patented and copyrighted (I apply for both right now). As a certificate, it should be awarded to parents who slog all their waking moments trying to do the right thing. Well I should be politically correct now and non judgemental while I'm at it, and say to each his own way or who am I to comment on others and their way of bringing up their progeny.

But please do excuse me if I don't take that position. Children are the most fragile things we have to take care of and if we can't even do that, then really we should not be allowed to have any. Couples, where both partners work are by no means the ones I am targeting. Because plenty of those have all their fact right and in spite of not being able to spend all their time cleaning their children's crap, managing and setting up play dates for them etc etc, still manage to do a decent partial 'organic' thing.

But I guess the term definitely excludes those who, simply because they don't want to be encumbered by the million and one demands that a little one puts on their terribly filled up schedules, relegate their care completely to maids and ayahs and other caregivers!

So I'm saying yes to total organic parenting, even though like all other things which are really good, it takes that much more effort to bring about this particular practice!

Growing up woes!

No not mine...but K's...

The woes are not exactly his or maybe he thinks they are! In fact I'm pretty sure he thinks he's in a sorry state of affairs where no one listens to him, where he has to shout to make himself heard, where all of us (read parents) are certifiable idiots who are not from the same planet.

When did this happen? When did the new teenage started from 'Nearly 5'? And more importantly why does it? I can go on about how children achieve maturity way earlier than their 'parently' counterparts or even children 10 years ago. And I can go on about why our extreme stress on egalitarian upbringing of our children drives us insane. What egalitarian childhoods did we have? We were told to do things and we did them and if we didn't, a straight whack wasn't that uncommon. And yet, we grew up to be just fine- no traumas, no tantrums!

And here I am, buying new books as they come into the bookstore; getting games and other goodies just because a child has been ill with fever for four days!

And yet I still hope I am not wrecking their childhoods by me and my moods. Well, to each his own and finally these are the days of our lives and one hopes to be the best they can be as parents, even if not the best human beings.

Chicken Shwarma at home

Janna Gur does it again- give a fabulous recipe which turns out to be great. So if you like chicken shwarma and are unable to find a decent place to eat from, here's what you have to do:

• take deboned chicken thighs- I took nice ones with bones as I didn't have the time to debone them- take two for example
• line an oven dish with foil and place the meat on it
• pour a generous amount of olive oil
• take a tea spoonful of garam masala and sprinkle on top
• add some chicken soup- powder or liquid, the recipe didn't specify and in any case I didn't have any, so I used  a maggi seasoning cube
• put aside to marinate for as long as you can afford to- I had about an hour and more
• preheat the oven and bunk it in for 45 minutes
• in the meantime fry some onions in some oil and when the chicken is done, put the marinade in the oil and then the chicken in it for a couple of minutes- till it is golden in colour
• serve with the fried onions and you will enjoy every minute of it!

my husband did- so whatever version this is- it's great!

Finding Diaries...

...Is even harder than finding shoes in this country.

I really fail to understand the reason behind this. The only diaries available to us are boring and even more boring! Is it really too much to ask for, to have an option in funky colours/week to view or other layouts/different companies who publish diaries? Maybe it truly is!

Maybe the diary manufacturers across the world deem Indians to be non connoisseurs of the fine points of 'diary appreciation'. I start looking for a decent spread(!) in the month of December and I'm always told at every single bookshop/stationary shop, "Sorry we don't stock diaries/Sorry we have only these boring diaries...are you not the privileged one?"

Once I got a pink Collins- no longer available.
Once I got the super funky 'this Diary will Change your Life'- no longer available and never heard of ever since.
Twice I brought the Granta- we don't know if we are getting them again!

Why is it so difficult, I ask myself this question, to pamper myself with a decent Rs 500 dated day journal? But try as I might, I fail to get an answer. Come December and my husband starts scouting the shops far and wide to get his beloved wife one of her all time passions, after cookbooks of course. but all to no avail.

One year was good as well when my sister from across the oceans sent me a beautiful Monet diary...wow, my ecstasy knew no bounds. I might have to resort to that again :-(

Why, when across the world, publishers start selling diaries by the middle of the current year; is it so different for us?
Why when India is pretty good when it comes to other product designs whether they are clothes or shoes or ...even call centre hundreds, can someone not wake up and smell the money in this completely ignored and albeit small segment of stationary and therefore make some moolah out of it? Come on, there must be someone with lots of paper works floating around, looking for options to invest money into?
Maybe I will have to take matters in my own hands and ...make a date diary myself!

Finding Shoes!

Is like finding...what? Well it depends on which part of the world you are doing the search! If it's the land of plenty, the U.S., you will find more shoe types to suit all kinds of budgets than there are letters in the alphabet- English that is. But if you happen to be needing decent shoes in India, then only a miracle can help you find them unless you have relatives in the states willing to shop and ship. I am seriously exploring that option right now.

It's not as if we don't spend money  on them or want to. It's certainly not for lack of brands or malls. For some strange reason or maybe just incomprehensible to simpler folks like me, even the 'big brands' like Nike or Reebok or Puma fail to stock decent selections for women or for that reason men! Why, when I am spending upwards of Rs 3000/-, should I choose from exactly ONE pair of shoes (in this case sports sandals)? One store helper had the audacity to actually get ONE MORE pair from the men's section saying, " But they are all the same aren't they?", handing me a pair of very masculine looking sports sandals. There's a difference dude, or didn't you notice the last time you were getting dressed for work? Maybe it's training he lacked, maybe he just had to achieve targets or maybe he struts around his house wearing high heels.

Worse case scenario- you are looking for shoes for your children or babies. In India it means buying hideous, squeaky, non padded crap which does nothing to support the tender baby feet. They are terrible fits and probably hinder proper gait for babies who are still discovering a walking world.

Well tomorrow I try one last time and then I give up and send my sister the web link to the wonderful pair I have seen on the net :-)

Quick Fix Noodle Soup

So here's what you do when you have some veggies in the fridge and two hungry children.

Pour some olive oil in a any pot/pan/wok.
Add chopped onions+zucchini+greens+mushrooms and saute
Also add grated ginger and garlic
Add a dash of soy sauce and some seasoning if you have it handy
After about a minute, add water and let boil and then simmer for about 10 minutes.
In the meanwhile boil some noodles (rice noodles go nicely with it)

Put the noodles in the simmering soup and serve hot...

My babies lapped it up.

p.s...and I also put in some whole malabar green peppers and they gave off such an amazing aroma- also a dash of spice without the bite!

Same Wavelength

So are we or are we not...on the same wavelength? 

After years of being together, I would think we most definitely are...but maybe not all that much. Especially these days. This post will get too personal. So I will not say anything any further except something all women say/scream/think/cry over:  WHY WILL NO ONE UNDERSTAND ME?

You are not alone...

I feel so out of sync. If I thought bringing up two children singlehandedly was not going to be 'all that difficult'...I was bloody wrong. Two children of my own and two more to look after and help bringing up. Does anyone realize the pressure I am under? I don't think so! And why would anyone even bother.

I used to laugh at women in my situation- I laugh no longer. Women who were stuck with in laws like mine, situations as bad or worse than mine and were unable to do much about it except cry and waste their lives crying- in private and public. Yes, I feel helpless and at a complete loss to remedy the situation.
So I become a control freak- for my babies and more so for me. I either not eat and not sleep or I eat lots and sleep not!

A tries to help, but I don't really see him doing what it takes to keep me calm- not argue. I don't think it's possible for anyone in their family not to be argumentative. It's in their blood. They can't help it. And just like this A can't help me either!

Just living in the hope that it will end before I lose my sanity- truly.

Falafels at home!

Finally got to make the elusive falafel at home! And the result was pretty impressive, even if I and all else who ate it say so :-)

So A says, please make falafels. Janna Gur comes to rescue. I follow the recipe and get wow results. The trick was to adjust the proportions- but hey I got the falafels. The recipe I will share now. Its not in details, but details always available to the interested.

• Basically grind together

onion/coriander/parsley/soaked chickpeas/roasted coriander seeds/shipka peppers

• Add cumin powder/ salt/pepper/baking powder and leave in fridge
• Before frying add baking soda dissolved in water
• Fry and enjoy!!!

yum! yum!yum!

Cultural Weekend- II

What did we do this past weekend?

Well, it started with a special reading session for children where I went with K. We had a good time. And now let me reflect. Yes, we went to the club after that for lunch. Sat outside the house trying to decide what to do- suddenly just could not make a decision- mall? silver? what? So finally, A took K for tennis, where they had a ball.
I wish A went to play more often. He just doesn't go. He thinks, he will stay at home and help me- which is a great thought but won't it be better for the two of us if he is a happier person doing what he wants to? He says the same thing to me. And for the life of me I can't think of a single thing to do! Can you imagine?

Sunday mid morning, we went to RN for breakfast with my parents. It turned out to be more brunch than breakfast but was good. We came back to rest a bit and then we were off to B's for the Christmas thing. It was good. Her house was full of people. They were all german and not very keen to mingle either. In all probability, they are wondering what we are doing at a purely expat do. The children had lots of fun and finally so did we.

Came back home and although we were dead tired, waited to wish each other a happy anniversary and then fell off fast asleep.

How the anniversary itself went, is food for another post!

Cultural Weekend

Did I mention we immersed ourselves in cultural pursuits this past weekend? Well we most certainly did, proving A's gentle cribs all wrong, "We never see anything".

The weekend activities were kick started by the bandaloop project performance on Friday evening. We reached Connaught Place to a packed inside and no room to stand outside. We still managed to find a nook to fit our foursome in and caught glimpses, excellent at that, of the fabulous show that was being put up. For those who have no clue, Project Bandaloop is a group that performs in theaters, on buildings and many many incredible settings. Incredible because- how the hell can a group of people be coordinated dancing on the side of the LIC building, 15 storeys higher than ground, suspended by wires while it's difficult not to be Tommy two toes on ground for most of us! (Tommy two toes...sounds cool!) Anyway check out their website for more interesting stuff on these guys.

Saturday was the day of many things- which ones should be chosen- big dilemma!
So we chose Bookaroo, a book festival for children being held the IGNCA. A took K to the event. Most of the activities were geared towards older children but K still had fun. Although A did say the french illustrator was no great shakes. He must be a great at his job but terrible at interacting with children. So we did what we do best and with great passion- bought books.

We decided to give the french mela a miss- sniff sniff!

What we did go for and did not want to miss at all was the evening performance at the Old Fort- the Manganiyar Seduction. It was an absolutely amazing show and have already written about it. Check out their website as well, actually am not too sure if they have one!

Sunday was the taking it cool day with a stroll in Lodhi Gardens, lunch at the club with friends and then a trip to my parents.

The weekend ended on a not so great note with my squabbling with A just before his flight early next morning to Bombay.

All's well that ends well? I don't know what to say!

The Manganiyar Seduction

Boy what a show! It was truly fabulous.


After many bickering sessions, we finally decided we were going to this show I had accidentally read about and what everyone was talking about already- trust us to be the least informed of the lot! Apparently this musical had travelled the globe and had been brilliantly received by all. Its most recent performance was last week in New York.


So kids in tow, dinner packed, jackets worn and much later than I had wanted to or originally planned, we set out for the Old fort where the performance was to take place. Of course we very nearly didn't go- fight over parking etc. Anyway jumping the unpleasant bit, we finally are in the stands- we had bought the cheapest tickets to stand around. guess what, they turned out to be as good as the most expensive ones as we were standing up close and personal to the stage- the only difference being that they were sitting while we stood around.


The show started late and the children found the novelty of being out so late(8 p.m.) wearing off, we were just hoping for it to start. It did. What an amazing show. The music was excellent and the conception as well. The musicians- I counted at least 32, were all sitting in lit up rectangles inspired by the peep show windows of Amsterdam. The whole arena was plunged into darkness and the lights would go up only in the performing window. It was beautiful - I know I have mentioned it already. And of course there were powerful vocals, great instrumentation and even better coordination.


The music of the manganiyars is not strange to us. Far from it, in fact. A and I used to love listening to it ages ago and loved it even then. There were all the typical instruments one would expect from a Rajasthani folk musician- khamancha, murli, been, dholak and many more.


K slept in the middle of all the noise while A little sat right through the end.


If one can, one should definitely see it!

So easy to let go!

Believe me it is!

The past week has been terrible for me and I'm sure I have made it terrible for A as well. Reached my lowest point on Tuesday- crashed in B's house where she literally put me to bed. Felt as if I had gone to the other side. Nothing touched me anymore- not A, not my children, nothing.
It's numbing and you feel that if you completely stop feeling everything, it's not a bad place to be. You are not happy but you certainly are not sad. Or maybe you are and just too exhausted emotionally. I have been to that place where all you do is take a step into the abyss and you are free. Except you are not...not by a long shot.

My bling/diamonds/bags are better than yours!

Yes, that was the question haunting most women, a large number of whom I'm sure haven't recovered from the shock of finding their match.

Well it all started with a match, so to say!
It was the VV school track and field meet for junior school. At 9 we were at the school along with a whole lot of parents. What was so reassuring to see was not just the kids having so much fun, but the mothers dressed to the hilt!!! Yes sir, spotted on the ranks were hip moms dripping jewels, hipper moms with bright blue shadow and mascara (it was after all a super cool event) and the hippest were the track suit sporting women- the track suits of course were all of the same fashion brand, all suede or some such luxurious fabric and all in all colours. I could only say wow!
There were some regular women in jeans, I hope they didn't feel out of place knowing they had fallen short by not wearing the coolest outfit from their wardrobes.
It will take me some time to know that I am not doing my little boy a great service by turning up in my non branded track pants (definitely not suede) sans the matching mascara.
But I do have an original 'coach' bag- courtesy my younger sister, while the fake bag ladies hope to hell that the ones they carry will bear any amounts of scrutiny from the seemingly 'plain janes' like yours truly!

Pleasantly surprised!

I truly was this afternoon on the way back from my mother's house. It was as usual a busy ring road and we were moving on when we were forced to come to an almost crawl. The reason for this became clear as we moved ahead- a roadside food vendor had upped all his wares in the middle of the road. The poor guy sat looking at a complete loss and so desolate. Almost at the same time that the thought crossed my mind, we saw the car in front of us- a 7 series BMW my husband tells me, stop with the driver beckoning the sad guy. He took out a Rs 500 note and without a word gave it to the guy. The latter was probably so blown away, he couldn't say a word. All this happened in less than 20 seconds.

We were ever so pleasantly surprised to see this act of generosity? charity? It's good to know that good people exist. It would be a totally different discussion on whether the person was inherently good or just trying to metaphorically 'wash his sins with acts of kindness'. For us, it was and still enough to know that someone helped someone else at a really low points in their life.

Socialising

I am not  a social butterfly, far from it. But still managed to meet up a lot of people from our past- college friends, school friends and some not from the past- parents from the school and so on. It was great, just to meet people and to know all the fab work they are doing. Almost inspiring!

A little sad, a lot lost!

Yes I am.

Ever since I went for my very first 'session' with the well known Dr Sanjay C, I have been have been having a real tough time trying to get my crying bouts down to more acceptable levels.
Not that I have a tremendous amount of help from anyone- no, not even A. Please don't get me wrong. He is the best man anyone could hope for...there is a but...not the perfect listener. Well, he is not a listener by a long shot. Which makes me more frustrated when he is back home- I then have minimum 3 people to listen to. Which basically means I have no one who will listen to me- which is not too bad, is it? Which is why such an intimate detail of my life gets shared on a public forum.
Which also reminds me- how will I feel about this blog after about a year or so?

So the doc says I have clinical depression and I should start taking some drugs before it gets bad. I don't want the medication- but I do want help. I want a break from this BS life, FAll people and I want people to not bother me. Didn't ever think that I would crumble after only about 12 years of being married.!

Vasant Valley Founder's Day

Today was for grandparents. Kabir was absolutely fabulous!
My parents could not go as my mother has a fractured leg; my parents-in-law couldn't be bothered. so we didn't even ask him this time. The last two times we invited them they didn't even bother acknowledging the invitation or even suitably letting the child down.

It started raining in the afternoon just as we were getting into the car- not a very good omen. I started raining nice and proper within 5 minutes and then just didn't let up. Nobody thought the function would take place, not the organisers themselves when A dropped K to school. Well we hung around the mall to grab a coffee and went back.

The rain let up, the show happened. It was nice. And again K was fabulous. I am the mother so I would be raving about his performance. But he was easily the best performer- the others just didn't have their hearts into it! I am so proud of him.

And am also glad that he is a part of this school which does not insist we buy the costume that K wore- they offer for us to buy it as a memento! Also all the costumes have been made in school itself. Wow!

Quick Bake Dinner

So, it was the day before and I was at a complete loss on what to make. I had to make something and it could not be just anything. It had to be tasty (for my children), nutritious and fun looking. Plus quick- I had to go with my mother to the doctor's. So here's what I made:

Quick Bake Vegetables

• Take stock of what's in the fridge
• I got baby corn, potatoes, spinach, onions, corn kernels, lots of cheese
• Also got grated cauliflower- had prepared it for paranthas earlier
•  Cut the assorted vegetables into whatever shapes you want
• In a wok, put a dash of olive oil and add some garlic and any herbs you want- I used chives and lots of za'atr
• Put the onions and whatever vegetables you have for about 5 minutes
• Grease a baking tray and preheat the oven for about 15 minutes
• In a bowl add about 1 cup refines flour, 50 gms butter and the veges from the wok- mix
• Put the whole thing in the tray and grate cheese and cover the whole thing- we love it generously
• Bake for about 30 minutes
• Enjoy

Unfortunately my older boy just didn't like it and preferred to sleep hungry (a mother and son tiff) than eat my food :-(

But my younger boy loved it and had quite a bit. When I had it, it tasted great even though by then it was only lukewarm. 

Try it...you never know. I will repeat it and take my chances with K the next time as well!

KNEE REPLACEMENT-NIET OR KNEE YET?

My poor mother's in a lot of pain. It's a different matter that she's been in a lot of pain for most of her adult life for one reason or another. But this one has been the bane of her life for a very long time now-her knees.  These disloyal members of her physical being have kind of decided to give up on her. She's mostly grinned and bore the pain. But now, after a particularly taxing time with my sister's around, my amazing mom has developed what is called a stress fracture. And that makes her almost completely immobile.

A trip to two different surgeons had the same result- an insistence on knee replacement surgery. After a detailed discussion with the doc, I am still not convinced that this is the best course of action.

Any ideas?

I am not Vir S’s Friend ☹

Yes, it’s true. I am no friend of his. If I had been, he might’ve addressed my woes regarding my stay at the Tea Bungalow in his writings! If he could dedicate a whole issue of a weekly column to his friends’ unfortunate experience at a fast-food-coffee-joint, he could certainly write ‘A’ line, ONE SINGLE line about my horrible experience. Okay, I grant him the fact that he doesn’t know if I am not just trashing the place, he doesn’t know whether to trust me- after all there must be a million nut jobs like me, plaguing the poor guy with emails of their terrible experiences.

Just imagine Mr. S sitting en face his brand new Apple, just itching to do some quality writing. But what does he get? He gets mail after mail of crazy people like yours truly, wanting just two minutes of his time, wanting just a mention in his column, knowing- once that happens all the wrongs they have suffered will be righted.

The reality in all probability is completely different. And in this one he or his assistant just hits the delete button every time, they see a mail with the subject, “Help Me!”

Now I am sad...or just plain mad.

Sunday Brunch Jinxed

I totally believe it. Why else would we not be able to repeat our fabulous experience? We had a couple of great runs. And after that, nothing! Nada. Zilch.
I guess somewhere down the line we forgot that we had this fabulous tradition that we'd started. I don't know when we go back to it. But I am waiting impatiently for a restart, and I am sure so is the rest of my family.

Nanking, New Delhi

So, in an effort to patch things up (I'm assuming), my younger sister sends me a text asking me about the day's plans. Great. We decided to meet at Nanking, this Chinese restaurant in Vasant Kunj which we'd really enjoyed the last time we were there, which was 10 years ago and which still enjoys the patronage of the friends who'd taken us there.
We reach on time, all of us including A who biked it from work. And the food after so many recommendations turns out to be...plain. Well that's what it was not just plain crap, because it was just short of it, not just plain underdone- because it was just short of it; it was just plain. And not nice plain, 'original Chinese plain', it was tasteless plain. And so much so that the vegetable noodle soup I had ordered turned out to be boiled water with some noodles and one strand of some vegetable thrown in. I must've been feeling really down (I have a bad cold) that I just let it all pass.

What really gets me is the fact that there were so many people paying so much money to eat plain crap (or just short of it). Why would they do that? Because they obviously don't know better and most would be embarrassed to say a word. Which also reminds me of a conversation with an acquaintance at the Delhi Gym this eve- we do sneak a drink more regularly when the boys are out cold! This gentleman returned his 'single malt' because it wasn't so. He made the bar guys open a new bottle. Till some time ago, I had no clue what the difference between a single malt or plain whiskey was. And even now, I barely have an idea. But great to know that people do.

While I would definitely not be palmed off bad wine in 5 star restaurants for something life changing just because it was a fancy place, I did allow bad Chinese food to be served to me this afternoon. It feels bad. But the upside, I think I might've reconnected with my sister.

Janna Gur

I am hooked. The best present this Diwali has been a gift from the upstairs neighbours- a cookbook by the well known Israeli chef- Janna Gur. I love it. More than a cookbook, it is also a book about cuisine origins, food customs. great restaurants and more. I already tried a brilliant dip from the book and will share it right away.
Popularly known as Baba Ghanoush, in the book it's called the roasted eggplant and tahini dip.
Here's how to make it:

• 1 roasted eggplant- flame roasting is best
• 1 tablespoon tahini
• 1/2 cup yoghurt
• 2 cloves garlic- pounded
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Mix all the above for a delicious dip

It was so fab that we finished it in one sitting. Try it. It never sounded so easy :-)

Tweet Tweet Cho Chweet

I guess the full import of this title is for the Indian audience only...for the rest, it is "TWEET TWEET" only.
Finally and after a lot of persuasion by my darling husband, I am on Twitter. So my millions of followers can just go to " Mala_Madness" on twitter where people and actual people are reading me.
Imagine someone in Timbuktu going home from college:
Young Adult: Ma, guess who I discovered on Twitter today?
Ma: Who? What r u so excited about?
Y A: Mala, that's who and finally she's TWEETING! You will not believe her writing- she's so good at it. You must read her Ma.
Ma: Yeah sure, she and a million others!

He He He.

No title!

I can't believe I have not written for the last so many days. Diwali time, so have been busy. A recap is in order. So here it goes.

4th nov: Diwali party for the children at Rabani's. Got there all decked up in my beautiful 'diwali' saree- the one I wear sometime or the other for diwali. So there I am, as soon as I enter, a wave of sadness hits me. The house is looking great. There are flowers, nice kiddie music, great food- it's her own household! And I think, when do I get this? So I sit there missing A, managing A and K, feeding popcorn to A on the trampoline when K rams full force into my arm. And then I start screaming, in pain, nearly pass out and everyone thinks I'm having fun. So it takes people about 30 seconds to realise all is not well. So, long story short- I nearly escaped getting my arm snapped in two.It still hurts. So A stays at home, I pass out with sheer pain and depression and then we start cleaning.
Of course my mother in law has to be a complete $#@$# about getting the room cleaned while we were gone!
I can't believe I actually let this spiteful old woman run/ruin my life.

And then A ad I take the kids out to food. We had a great time.

Next morning Diwali day, we have great breakfast. And this of course has to be ruined by this jealous old woman who can't bear it if A and I are happy together. Push comes to shove and for the first time, I give her a piece of my bloody mind. She comes to room to apologise. But of course, this is after I am plunged into the depression I am trying so hard to get out of. I make an ass out of herself- I start crying. And now Diwali is ruined.

So I call up my younger sister- I have been doing that every single day of the week, to find out what the plans were. And we decide to meet up at Humayun's Tomb. We get there, and I am thinking, it's still so awkward with these guys. It's as if we are meeting strangers, so polite and so no interested. And as for my younger sister- that's material for another post.

So we get back home and start lighting up and decorating. Then made everyone have a shower and sit down for puja, for which last year the whole house had gathered- this year no one except Neha...and very reluctantly the above mentioned woman.
Surprisingly it was the best puja I had done in years. Post the puja, we lit up all the candles and the oil lamps and it all looked very beautiful.

We went to my parents' house and meet my elder sister who's just landed in the morning from the U.S. Her children are wonderful, her husband as well and we meet warmly enough. At least we exchanged a hug- my younger sister and I have yet to exchange a 'hi', let alone 'happy diwali'. And I am saddened by it all, all over again.
The easy camaraderie between my sisters and their husbands and their children- wow, where and how and why did my family stay excluded from all of it?
I guess the joke is on my father, who all his life was excluded from his own family- curses them till today , let the exact same situation happen in his own home. And what has my mother been calling for? the taxi's not here! the rooms need to be booked! this needs to be done. I am the idiot who runs around with two small children and then gets to know of the fun that everyone had, much much later.

And then today A went to work- saturday and after diwali.
And my maid called and was being funny- I think she's quit.
And my driver called in and tried to lie his way not to come in!

These are the days of my life.

Diwali Woes Etc

Not too much to say here except somehow I still haven't lit a single diya. I just don't seem to have it in me this time. For my children and my wonderful husband, I will still make the effort!

Happy diwali to all!!!

From Here To Agra

Here = New Delhi
Agra = Agra

Ha! My attempt at being funny. From here to Agra is normally 3 hours and some odd minutes. From here to Agra, it took my sister 6 hours and more than 30 minutes!
It all depends on when you leave a place to reach your destination. We are almost fanatical when it comes to timing our departure. We want empty roads devoid of truckers, mad interstate bus drivers and equally mad city folk trying to race you to the next bottleneck or traffic jam. We want to see the sun come up when we've already left the city way way behind. We want to reach our destination as early as possible to get as much of the day as is possible.
We are greedy- we want it all!!!

Which is why I can't understand why people will knowingly subject themselves to all the above. I can be politically correct and say- to each his own way; but I am a genetically politically incorrect person. So I will say, get more out of your trip- enjoy it a bit more- get out of your bloody house on time!!!

Pear Crumble

So yesterday when I ask K what he wanted for breakfast, he says pear crumble. He got it for dinner in the evening, right after spinach and corn pasta. So here's how I made it:

• Wash and quarter pears- about a kilo
• Mix together 150 gms refined flour (maida), 100 gms butter (use any kind) and 100 gms caster sugar (personally speaking, I have used regular sugar as well and it works)
• Arrange the pears in a round baking tin and cover it nicely with the above mix
• Preheat oven for 15 minutes at 180
• Bake in oven for about 30 minutes
• Serve with or without fresh cream
• It is yummylicious!!!!

Aaj Jaane Ki Zid Na Karo!

This unbelievably beautiful rubaii by the legendary Farida Khannum, got me the day with my husband today!
I sang it and just like that he said he won't go to work. It's a different matter that we didn't spend half the day together- he went for some bike stuff and I went to get Kabir back from school. By the time I got back, it was already 2 and then we tried to hook up with my sister and her husband.

Farida Khannum rocks!

Nishabd- Amitabh B

What an utterly crap film. Caught it flipping channels yesterday night and against my better judgement watched it for the better part of an hour.
It's a film without any storyline- yeah yeah yeah- old man young woman blah blah blah! We saw the amazingly made 'American Dream', whose copy this film is, and I will say it again- What an utterly crap film.

Evolved Indians will say,' Oh what a bold subject!' 'Wow, Amitabh has acted so well' blah blah blah!
Amitabh is terrible in this film- and I used to be a huge fan of his. He has no on screen chemistry with the terrible actress from across the border, I'm forgetting her name; he looks much more tired and haggard than his age, or maybe I am meeting much more energetic and graceful 60 year olds these days; he seems to be unable to act.
There is nothing shown in the film by the way of that in ignorable chemistry which forces him to chuck his wife and daughter out of the house for a psychotic looking babe. They do show them dancing together once, driving together once and some bits and bobs as incidents that draw them together inexorably.

Why oh why do the majority of film makers treat the Indian audience like crap? Probably because we are. The director used a bold subject- maybe because Tabu could pull it off with AB in Cheeni Kum, the director thought he could do it with a younger girl, show some skin. What he couldn't decide was whether to make the film for mainstream cinema (after all where will the money come in from) or for the discerning viewer (like yours truly). So he chose the subject carefully and then proceeded to shit it up, for the mainstream audience would never accept open sexual chemistry between a 60 + guy and a barely out of school girl- it's a different case that the same audience proceeds to ogle anything that's even remotely female.

I think I have wasted enough  time already on this absolutely silly film, both seeing it and then writing about it, so I will sincerely advise all my fans to go watch it.
If I had said don't watch it, you still would've been tempted to, right?

And Some More Shopping

A please stop me from spending more- I am positively afflicted. My brain reels from so much number crunching, my feet hurt from doing the unending rounds of fairs, fetes and of course malls and there's no space for the stuff I am buying!!!

Awkward Relationship

Actually there are no such relationships which are by definition awkward. Many and any will become uncomfortable based on circumstances, events, people and their behaviour or the lack of it!

Well I have been the unfortunate and unwilling participant of many of these awkward relationships. Me- an outspoken, uncomfortable when things or matters are not clear kind of person; have been the other party in cat fights/fights/unspoken and yet terrible fights with, almost the whole world. The said whole world is of course inhabited by my parents, my sisters and my husband's side of the family- needless to say terrible :-)

I had been dreading one and probably the scariest of all "coming-face-to-face"- that with my younger sister. My millions of followers would know the story behind this awkwardness which dates back to 2008. Well it has been awkward for sure- for more than a couple of days we were unable to look at each other in the face. It begins to get better now or so I am hoping. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, maybe just a making up in the making!  

Diwali Shopping etc!

Well, it's that time of the year again...Diwali and with it- MASSIVE shopping!
come to think of it, when is it not time for some massive shopping? I almost feel ashamed that I as a person, am hugely materialistic. Almost, but apparently not quite enough to stop buying THINGS. Things which are 'important' to me or the friends or acquaintances who we'll be obliged to gift at some point or the other!!!
Why? Why does it have to be me to do the needful? Why do I have to be little Mrs.-I-Have-To-Gift to all and sundry? It's almost a disease with me- maybe there's even a name for it...maybe they are doing some high powered research trying to find a cure for it...who knows?

Anyway, every single time I spent big bucks on something I want but not really need, I pledge to myself that this is the absolute last time I am indulging myself...till the next time I see that hot bag at Calonge!!!

Is my blog dark?

Well it's a slightly distorted line to start with. What I really meant to say was, 'Am I a person tottering on the negative side of things?' Do I complain all the time..no hang on, this is self pity talk. I am not a bloody negative person. I am as normal as the next positive person! It's just , having had these two children I have become so sensitive to small shit.

Why did A not think about me going in the morning?
Why do I have to stay in the house day in and day out doing the same mindless things over and over again?
Why do I have to waste my life with A's parents and he giving me a 'pep talk' all the time on how I should learn to ignore?

Because I chose to

• Have babies
• Take care of them
• Stay at home and take care of them

But that doesn't mean that I am not going crazy slowly but surely

• Not doing anything except managing my children's lives/fighting every day for the food to be cooked/fighting for space
• Not managing my own space
• not using my brain except for petty shit
• Not being able to let go of the petty shit

Well this can be a really long post, and I was thinking do I really need to put this all up in front of virtual strangers...and then I thought...

What the Hell!!!

Dal Makhni

The staple of most north Indian restaurants, the main dish of most festive spreads, the slightly daunting-to-prepare looking- Dal Makhni!
Let me give you the simplest way to make it.

• Soak dal overnight (or 4 hours if that's convenient): black gram/ sabut urad : one generous fistful per person
• Boil dal in fresh water for 4 whistles and 20 minutes on the sim (for cooker users)/ for 1 hour on the sim (non cooker users)
• Blend tomatoes- 1 per person and mix in the dal after the second step
• Blend generous amounts of ginger and garlic, entirely dependant on your taste and mix in dal
• Add garam masala- 1 teaspoonful for any amount of dal
• Let it simmer for about 15 minutes
• Mix fresh cream- 1 tspn per person and mix gently,
• Simmer for another 5 minutes
• Yummy dal makhni is ready!!! 

Karva Chauth

It was Karva chauth the day before yesterday. For all those who don't know, it's the annual fasting event for married north Indian women for the long life and health of their husbands.
It started on a great note the evening before with my darling husband gathering stuff for me to eat in the morning, trying to get me to put fab henna (which didn't work). It went on fine with us getting up on time- 4 a.m. with Anuj and the girls as well and hogging the delicious stuff he had bought for me.
In spite of some hiccups: my mother in law's endless bitching about me, it still went on fine till late afternoon. So what happened? I got a lesson in appropriate language by this lady on my use of 'don't you dare' to my son and she refused to do the pooja saying of all the things "I'm not fasting". It didn't occur to her that all these years she's helped me do the pooja, she's never kept the fast.

How can people be like this? Well before I had the great luck to find an amazing guy like A, I had no clue about women like his mother. I had heard stories of course, but one on one experience- no sir!!

Well I guess it's God's way of keeping an equilibrium- great guy = parents' in law like mine!!!

So easy to lie!

To mostly everyone including your own self! So what does that make my life? !!!

My New Apple!!!

An apple a day...well it's here to stay! I haven't even had a peek at it...am waiting patiently. Let's see if it lives up to its expectations. We have been toying with the idea of having a mac book for so long now that it hasn't even sunk in.

I am extremely disappointed by Apple as a company though- for making Arunachal Pradesh a part of China in their I phone map application. I do believe the U S should be stricter than this in allowing something that very easily gives the message of compliance or support of the Chinese claims.

Oh when will this stop? I am 35 and I do not want my children or anyone else's for that matter to witness wars and shit like that. Life is way more sweeter than that- made sweeter with the presence of gadgets and the like so why spoil it? On a slightly saner reason- it's just not worth it! So let's do our bit in avoiding strife and spreading love...cliched? cliches work!!!

Sunday Brunch

This morning was 'Chholey Bhature'...turned out to be magnificent. For accompaniement, there was the pickle and the spread I bought from Jiyo yesterday.

The reciepe for Chholey...

• soak chickpeas overnight- for morning prep
• boil with whole masalas- cardamom, black pepper, cinnamon
• open the cooker and add the following masala mix
• coriander powder, garam masala, amchur, black pepper powder, cumin seed powder
• mix well and simmer for about 15 minutes
• add grated ginger
• serve with crisp bhatura
• sinful amounts of calories!!!!

What My Husband Doesn't Know....

Can fill up volumes...

This is what I had in mind for a title immediately after our fight in the morning. Then we made up. And the blog went flying out of my head :-)

Akhyan and Dastkar 2010

We went yesterday- my children and I.
We went today again- my husband, niece, staff member, my children and I! Needless to say we'd had so much fun that we decided to repeat it. It was like a big party with lots of dances, folk performances, mask exhibition and a lot of shopping.
I honestly did not expect to have so much fun, and that too two days in a row. But we did, and how I shopped and then how Anuj shopped! We felt in the middle of a giant party and can't wait to go back again.

Finally a drink with my husband!!!

Sounds...what exactly?
Great actually!

After years of never going out without children, A and I managed to sneak in an hour away after the babies had slept of course, to go and have a couple of drinks at the club. It was fabulous! And I think we can do it again. Of course it's a far cry from the days we used to be there when the bar opened and stayed much after it closed. Those were the days of pure adult fun- of going to bars, getting sloshed and passing out once we were back at home.

And these are the days, extremely fatiguing albeit, of pure unadulterated fun- of being with our children, and never having a moment to ourselves. It still remains fun. Of course they are going to grow up, go out with their friends- girls and boys, and wouldn't want to be around us at all. But its fun till it lasts- may it last forever!

New design for my blog

It's pretty cool...the older template that I was using- Travel, was making navigation really heavy. This one- awesome' it's called; is pretty fast!

Fighting for nothing!

Don't we all do that? But A and I seem to be doing it all the time..we don't have the time to unwind decently...we don't have the time to eat or sleep properly; but we do have hours to waste over trivial shit that doens't matter at all...

How inelligent we really are!

Kerala!!!

Munnar in the morning from our cottage!

 On our way back to Kochi!

Wow...

Devdutt Patnaik- Myth=Mithya

Fabulously written.

I haven't finished it yet and that's also because I've taken the author's sugestion to just pick it up and read it randomly. It's a great read. We have all read or heard about the myths which populate the hindu religion. The author makes very interesting differences between the two words to start with: myth and mithya.

Read it..it's great!

20 NORTH

Another great find like flipkart- for me and for many others like me. IT's a website for people who want stuff from the U.S. etc...the website has it all and it promises to get it for you if they don't already stock it...all you have to do is to send the internatinal link. It is a bit expensive, but their prices include shipping and handling: so a bath and bodyworks body splash(my absolute fav )will cost you three times the price...but at least you get what you want without having to beg family or friends going abroad.

I lost my job :-(

Well yes, I guess it's still true of me- can't massage people's egos! Atleast that's what I think went wrong with this one, and here's the story in all its glory:-

A friend recommends me to her boss- I meet him- I like the work- he likes my background- we decide to work together. Except I have to work with this who appeared to be a sweet woman from Hyderabad! So I am new to the fashion/export industry and yet I put in days and night to achieve a herculean task- of writing a whole section without any help that was promised me t start with. To top it all, the woman in question doesn't want to talk or have any kind of verbal communication.

I go to Kerala, having accomplished a big chunk of the ebook I am writing, with the promise that she would go through it and give me specific corrections. So what happens when I get back? A note saying twenty things are wrong. But do I get a specific areas where those twnety things might be lacking? No. I just have to rewrite the whole document and send it? No reply to this either!

So I call her and try and find out what's happening. Just bunk all the separate documents into one and it should be fine comes the reply. So I wait , starting work on the following documents and believe my surprise when I get a mail so caustic, I havent ever laid eyes upon. Some supercillious bitch casting aspersions on my competence. Well, that's one thing she shouldn't have done- because the place where I start working from is not a state of super confidence but actually quite the opposite. I do not believe I know anything on the subject which makes me put all that I have in just getting my fact straight- the one thing I never want is to get caught on the wrong foot.

So of course the time I should've spent working, I waste in drafting a reply as for a communications person, I am totally lost for words. And all the time I know, it will be over in the morning. Having worked in the radio industry for just over 16 years, I have dealt with people with ginormous egos, the worst cases of bitching- it is quite terrible. But frankly, this was my first time to find someone, who I had done no harm to or even interacted with much, harbour such malice towards me. Because that's what it came across as- malice. But why would she be malicious towards me? Not because she thought I wasn't genuinely performing- which after a 3 weeks, I would seriously doubt. So far I had delieverd on time,I wanted feedback, I had the rest of the sections ready.

Well, I'm out of a job in a month- sad :-(

Thank God, I didn't have to work with such an egotistical person.

Trip Advisor is not biased :-)

Well my review got published...and the website regained my trust!

We have trusted this website for a long time now and were completely disappointed to think it was somehow being made not to publish a bad review of a place -Tea Bungalow, for which I haven't seen a single bad remark. How could it be that it went so bad for us...and we are pretty accomodating when it comes to things? Well, I guess it's always a case of the 'head' ruling the body...with the attitude and arrogance of the manager, what the hell else can you expect?

But I can go back to reviewing places and stuff on the trip advisor...and go back to travelling as soon as possible!

Trip Advisor is biased!!!

Well...Well...Well!!

Was that a break or what! As all the millions who follow me know already, I have been away to what is popularly known as 'God's Own Country'- Kerala.
After planning this trip, sometimes with great anticipation and some others with trepidation, sometimes with confidence and other times taking a pure gamble; after thinking a million times that perhaps it will all go to naught, after booking the tickets and the hotels and paying up for them- it could've been all a waste.I am going to thank God that it all went as planned- mostly better, sometimes a little disappointing; but great in all its entirety.

We started our vacation with a brief stay at the Trident on the Willingdon Island close to Kochi, went on to Kumarakom at the Taj- wow, stayed in the middle of thousands of acres of tea plantations at Munnar and finished our 10 day long journey at Tea Bungalow- the only thorn in our backside. In fact I have reviewed all the properties in Trip Advisor and found out that 'THEY ARE BIASED'...they did not let a bad review of the place go through.

But let me not get into this- just revel in the beauty of the state that is Kerala!!!

Kerala holiday!

So we arrived in Kochi yesterday..and the jetlite flight wasn't bad at all! But it took most part of the day to just get here and get to the hotel. We are staying at the Trident on the Willingon Island or is it the Wellington Island. The hotel is nice, although yesterday they just weren't in it...and that for hospitality is just not good enough. We were deciding waht to do this morning and spent the best part at the pool- this is not Kerala, it could be anywhere in the world. And that doesn't mean that it's not a change from the routine and relaxing at that!
Anuj and friends went looking for a restaurant specialising in seafood- turns out it was closed and would open only for dinner. Will write about how that goes later- we are going out for a walk to the docks now...

Eat Pray Love

Hey, last sunday the two sunday old ritual was broken...Eat Pray Love- the new Julia Roberts movie (downloaded of course) didn't work! So, we battled with children who didn't want to eat breakfast, frustration at an unexpected problem in sunday morning film show etc etc.
This week I don't really think we will be following the ritual...off to Kerala! Hope the trip goes well..will give a nice account when I get back...am just so bone tired right now..worked late in to the night yeaterday and have been on my feet all day today!

Too convenient!

It darn well is...too conveneient to just log into blogspot and vent your frustration...but then it is too personal and you think...what the hell! in any case, it's not as if my dearest husband, who claims he "loves" all that I write- is just waiting to see if there's a new post(in fact even after my telling him to read my posts, he hasn't bothered to). By now it must be apparent to anyone who's landed up here, that I must've had a tiff with hubby dearest. Well don't we all?

The Zoya Factor

Reads just like a Mills & Boon...the hero with his "boost-brown eyes", biteable abs etc etc...the plot of the human charm is light and breezy...of course the end is predictable with the lucky charm holding back...but we like predictable, don't we?
Anuja Chauhan should def write another one, but this time an out and out M&B...I shall certainly buy it!

The Immigrant

Just finfished reading this book by Manju Kapur. It was a decent read. A bit predictable, but a decent read still. Though I must say, I had to speed read in a lot of places.

An indian dentist in Canada, having found his feet after some struggle, gets an indian wife. It's also because of his failure to perform sexually with white women, much as he wants to. The wife is an educated girl trying to come to terms with her new country, new husband and the new lack of sexuality in their relation. Then a process of both finding what they really want:
the husband- a white woman in bed and a docile indian wife for companionship
the wife- to work, to try and make this country her own on her own conditions and of course,sexual and mental liberation!

Read it - when u finish you favorite book and there's nothing else to read.

Still no fan following!

Sob! Sob!

I have nobody who reads me...even my own husband hasn't read any of my posts!! And this inspite of my telling him every single day, "baby, did you read my post today?"

Actually in a way, it's a bit of a relief. I didn't realise what a personal space I'd made my blog to be, and though I want to delete some of my posts (they are way too personal); I won't really. Because this is my personal diary!

And if anyone thought that personal diaries were not meant to be read are just kidding themselves. Maybe not during their lifetimes, but later they are found and much is made of their secrets if not of their writing skillS.

I am hoping someone will stumble upon my blog, find my writing absolutely irresistible and make me a fabulous offer of either writing a film or a book.

Who knows!!!

Delhibabies!!!

Here's a letter I posted today on this baby network based out of Delhi, basically consisting of snooty foreigners with a chip on their shoulders the size of a cricket stadium!

Hi All,


Now I am the laughing stock of all my friends and family, in Delhi and abroad.
The reason being that I have been unable to find maids in the land of plenty!!!

It can't be because my levels of hygiene etc are too high (me an indian...i must be joking) or that I expect too much from them...or even I close my eyes to all the times I should. Maybe it is that I spoil them a bit and then expect them to work!! It certainly can't be beause I pay them less.

It just is that they probably don't want to work with Indians.

So,I count upon the niceness of your kind hearts to give me maid references (pls do confirm that they are not averse to working in indian household).
I have two boys- one and four and am currently almost immobile because of a severe case of cervical spondylosis and vertigo.


Best Regards


Mala Mangla Dattta

Mostly Martha

It's a nice german film. If you know of the Catherine Zeta Jones starrer "No Reservations", you know Mostly Martha already!

NR is an almost scene by scene copy of MM, but it fails to impress you the way MM does, although the latter was made almost 20 years before. The earnestness of Martha is just not conveyed by Jones.

For those who have no ideaabout the film:

It's the story of an almost-obsessed-by-food-chef- Martha, whose life though centered around her job as a chef, lacks passion even for the food she cooks.
Which is why, cooking for her is not just a matter of the senses, but more so of precisions (well she is german, could've been swiss as well). So a particular dish will taste a particular way after having been cooked for a particular amount of time.
She has no social life apart from her shrink visits.
She is suddenly left in charge, of her sister's young daughter, when her sister dies in a motor accident.
The coming together of the aunt and niece, the emotional upsets, the arrival of a new sous chef, the love that Martha discovers she is capable of feeling- both with the niece and predictably with the new italian sous chef- all of this is very subtly and undramatically portrayed. There are not many hysterically emotional scenes- neither when the niece's father comes to pick her up nor when Martha goes to get her back.

It's perfect for a sunday watch!

Foodie Sundays!!!

So we've started a new tradition- that of taking it totally easy the first half the day!

Believe it or not we would be rushing around even on Sunday mornings. But since the last two weeks, A and I have started taking Sundays with a complete 'chill pill' (much as I hate this expression)!

What we do is this:

Anuj gets a foodie film, a film which centres around food/ restaurants/ cooks etc
I make breakfast early in the morning
We treat ourselves to breakfast in bed, letting crumbs fall all over; infact by the time we finish, one needs to vaccum the whole room!!!
WE WATCH MOVIE AT 7.30/8 A.M.!!!!!!!!!

The first time we did it, it felt forbidden (am still talking about watching a movie so early in the morning); especially as the children are allowed only half hour t.v. time a day- never in the morning or early afternoons- t.v. to be used only when there literally is nothing to do.
But we all had so much fun.

And so we decided to repeat it. So we did.

And the movies we saw- Mostly Martha, Like Water to Chocolate

Movie reviews in a different post.

Congrtulations!!!

I have finally done it!

I have broken my own record of 8 posts a month; including this one, it's now 10.

Yipeeee!

When did we stop speaking Hindi?

Well, we haven't stopped completely, but while talking to a friend yesterday I realised that we were lamenting upon the fact that our respective children are finding it a bit difficult to make hindi speaking friends- or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe it's the other children who can't really understand K, have difficulty in communicating and he's told me about the funny comments about his hindi; which though I admit is a little tentative, it is by no means bad!

So how come a child born off Indian parents, in a hindi speaking milieu, surrounded by people whose english is at best passable; start having troubles with his mother tongue? I think this is where the influence of "MOTHER TONGUE" comes in!! Although I am fairly decent with many languages, and hindi is one of my strongest; the language we communicate in- Anuj and I, are english/french! Why? I don't know...I really don't know.

A whole lot of reasons- school environments, work environments, friends; till the time you reach a point that it does become easier to talkn in what is essentially a foreign language.

Hindi is by no means our national language either, with India being such a huge diversity, we can't even proclaim (much as the politicians would like to)that hindi unites all. No, that honour lies with english- the language we were colonised by; the language we all (and we won't admit it) aspire to master and the language which remains (much to our chagrin) a measure of our respective levels of education and exposure.

Let us be honest to ourselves and remember the last time we literally looked down our noses at the girl whose english was far from perfect; the delievery guy? the saleman?

And of course it all stems from our inherent insecurity; the inability to be proud of ourselves, our heritage, our culture.

Time for a wake up call- I am aleady speaking in hindi only to my boy...what about you?

A Great Thing!

A fabulous thing happened to me yesterday...I got a job!! It is not what I have done in the past, which is mostly radio; but is interesting 'quand meme'...more on this later.

Also my parents came back after 5 long months from the u.s...I really didnt think I would be saying this on a public forum 10 years ago..but I missed them like hell...puts your own relationship with your own children in perspective.

Food Blogs

Now if chef Chloe can have such a nice blog (she looks smashing as well...while I would probably have a bad hair day and a bad mood pic EVERY day), why can't I?

Well, I did try and do this cooking blog! And failed miserably. Not that I don't cook anymore, it's just that after taking care of two children (I have a new respect for my mother who single handedly raised three very different, very headstrong girls), general household chores, dropping and picking up K from school and cooking; I had no energy left to eat/ check my mail(whatever was more important that day), much less write a blog about it.

Wow that was a long sentence!

So if chef Chloe can do a food blog then why can't I? Her blog is nice and bright and it seems quite recent (and frankly the beach cookies looked quite unnn not me). All the very best to her in this endeavour...one day...one day!!!

What a cliche!

Was just reading my last post- man what a cliche!

Wasting Time!!

I was just trying to remember a day from my life 4 years ago- I just couldn't. I do remember my life as it was at this point in time, but a particular day- oh no! Except of course the days marked with good things and of course bad ones...

Made me realise a very basic thing; one I'm going to try living my life with now- It is so important to have fun every bloody day of our lives or it just passes. I was 23 yesterday, so full of youthful arrogance with a devil may care attitude, with no specific goals or ambitions in life and today I am 35 already. 35 used to be half dead in my dictionary, now of course I think it's when you truly begin to understand what life is about!

But I am meandering again...the most important thing is to have fun; because you dont know when you're going to cop it and when you're drawing your last breaths, you are not going to be able to remember any of the days filled with the mundane, petty things- you will only remember the truly happy or the truly miserable ones.

My advice to you- whatever you do, do it with a passion or else it's just not worth it!

Simple Pleasures...mmmm

Of eating a particularly simple to make but oh so comforting dish!!!

I am talking this time of pita bread filled with cheese of some kind (mozarella/cheddar) and with a very generous sprinkling of zatar; and baked for just about 7 minutes or so...mmmmmmm

Thanx to my neighbours from the second floor, I now possess original zatar powder with white sesame seeds which came all the way from Israel...and that's not the best part- I have been promised more , so I can afford to eat lots of my fav spice!

Citronella...and Perfume (the film)

Citronella- probably the only thing that can work against mosquitos!

Delhi has become this ugly place where dengue, malaria, typhoid and other horrendous diseases are creating a havoc right now. What do you if you have children? Forbid them from setting foot outside? from school?

I have started burning citronella oil night and day in the bedroom just to make sure the mosquitos stay away- or that's what I'm hoping. Who would've discovered the medicinal properties of this oil? Or other oils for that matter!

Reminds me of the film I saw the other night- a 2006 release " PERFUME" ). What a movie...or was it? Well it was quite gruesome as a theory/ storyline but quite different to see. If any of you has seen the movie, you would know the distorted connection to citronella!!

It does become a little predictable towards the end, with a film scene with maximum number of nude bodies but the absolute end is quite fitting.

So tired!

Isn't everyone else?

It's as if there is a race to be run from the time you open your eyes in the morning till the time you go to bed. Of course one could sleep when the babies sleep and catch up on that part of your life at least; but then you don't want to lose out on the couple of hours of kid free time and then before you know it's midnight and past...and then it starts all over again...phew!

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift is not bad at all- no sir!

Well she conforms to what a pop star should look like, and I had my reservations about her talent quotient.

But she can sing, and she can write as well- not the grammy for most but not bad either!

And I got to know of her from my 12 year old niece!!!

Discover Flipkart

An online bookstore where books are even cheaper- yesss!

I got to know of flipkart when my husband's colleagues gifted him some stuff they had ordered from this website. For my part, the cynic that I am, it sounded too good to be true!

But I test bought a book and voila, I am hooked. And they reply nicely to feedback you post. So my fans, try it when you can- the collection of titles is truly fabulous!

Immobile and raving mad!!

Well it had to happen- all the stress had to make an appearance somewhere and it did! My neck has gone for a toss and has given me such a turn- actually many that I am totally burned out and disoriented.

I hate to feel this helpless- unable to perform daily chores; causing Anuj to stay at home, taking care of our children with no help from anybody.........I HATE IT!!!!!

And if there are many people who share the same predicament or have done so at some point of time- well as someone I know says- this too shall pass!!! (actually I am just rambling on- have no clue as to what I am saying or why)

Promise breaker!!!

Yes I am..even to myself and my millions of followers on this space !!!!!!
It was my promise to write a blog everyday no matter what, instead I get stuck in playing stupid, mind f#$%ing games like internet mahjong.
Well, to be fair I haven't really done a lot these past few months except perhaps wallow in my misery.
No that's not entirely true- my children were ill for a straight month. We finally made it to the school of our choice- the school- Vasant Valley. We had made it to to Junior Modern as well. And this without having paid a rupee as bribe or knowing the prime minister's butler's wife's maid's driver- phew, close call. And although we were waitlistd on VV, we had absolutely no hopes of making it- after all who withdraws from THE school...well, to our and Kabir's great luck someone or rather someones did and we got in!!! Yipeee! Thank you God for an amazing thing, which is why i am willing to forgive what He's doing to the rest of my life- after all, he put things right for my baby.

Terrible state

One would think that with two children to think and worry about, where would I get the time to be depressed...but I am...incredibly depressed. Today I even forced Anuj to come back home in the middle of the day.
What the hell is happening with our lives? With my life? Sometimes things are so lucid...and I really do think...'I don't care'...but then...am losing interest in most things including cooking

New househelp - ex already!

Well, I had kind of anticipated this....someone with no experience at all, asking for Rs 6000/- and a talker!!!
A story for everything and everything a tall one, it just wasn't fated to last. And maybe now I don't want then to last either. If it was my house, my rules, it would've been different. But now, in this setup, not possible.

Kabir's B'Day!

The preparations are in full swing...

When I started writing, it was still not Kabir's birthday, and now it's been 10 days up. It was a rocking party with mostly everyone turning up- some on time, some later, much later. I slogged to get the theme ready- spiderman. I slogged to get the food ready- mini pizzas, baby idlis, chicken kebab rolls, paneer rolls, chips, popcorn, french fries, cake. I slogged to get the return gifts, the guest list finalised. I didn't do anything for the decor, the entire credit for which goes to Anuj, who managed to make some fabulous spider webs as well.
There was a bouncy as opposed to all we believe, but which Kabir thoroughly enjoyed jumping on- after all it was in his house!!!
The gifts were fabulous- great books, some clothes and some cool Ben 10 glasses.

And if I wasn't so tired, I would write a little more but my mind is full of other things- more house crap. I am just happy that K had a swinging time!!!

Training new househelp!

Well what can I say...let's see how long this affair lasts!

A Lesson in Cooking!!!

Sitting at a cafe with my husband, I came across this advert in the Times of India asking people to text in if they wanted cooking lessons in popular restaurants. I did. I forgot I did. I got a call. My husband came back home early. I went. I came back, feeling quite disappointed. The weather had been great, just perfect i fact for a seance outdoors. The arrangements had been great, the chef quite 'pleasant' as my neighbour described him. Then why this feeling of having wasted my time?

The restaurant in question was Sevilla at the Claridges. The chef was the corporate chef, whatever that means and the audience was truly a melange of odd people. I never knew people actually went to these kind of do's, and that too old kind of people, people who look like my mother and people like the auntyji from amar colony. It was a classroom all over again, with a really eager student laughing at all jokes and one liners- her jokes and one liners; I am going to have nightmares about her!
They distributed the recipes for four 'tapas', tapas are starters as the chef took great care in pointing put for the umpteenth time. The chef started to speak and almost immediately was asked to shout- the noise from the street was drowning everything out. Then the long wait for the loudspeaker- 30 minutes, and then finally...oof. (I even had a serving person, sniff at my tea with lemon and milk- lemon and milk he asked? Is this your tea- I answered.)

So the chef started, he really answered everything good naturedly, and showed everyone how to make seafood paella and three other dishes- I forget their names. But it was disappointing on a number of counts-

• I didn't get to taste what he made
• I didn't get to make what he made
• He didn't give local substitutes- maybe there aren't any and he's not Sanjeev Kapoor ( I do believe this is Sanjeev K's forte)
• I don't like Tapas, Mashrabiya with its Moroccan/Lebanese cuisine would've been better.

But I loved it that my husband came back early and gave me this chance to get a hold on myself, on my sanity and do this just for me. He's a great one for insights I've realised- Mala, he said, think of it as a movie. At least you went. Next time don't sit on the side and watch others play tennis (that's his favourite sport), play yourself!!!

Grilled Veges with mozzarella and chicken loaf slices

That was for dinner yesterday- marinated all this with lots of olive oil, lemon juice, salt, oregano and some more (can't remember what), and then grilled it for about 30 minutes. Yummmmmmy!!!
Bunked this all in a ciabatta, along with mozzarella slices (anuj with chicken loaf slices) and the result was magical. The best compliment from Kabir- Ma you cook like the TV and then a magazine, he said pointing to a copy of the french cote sud!!!

Grilled chicken salad

That's what I gave Anuj for lunch today. I am truly very proud of this recipe that's mine.
Marinate a chicken breast with herbs easily available in the house- rosemary, oregano, lemon zest, olive oil and bunk some veges like thin strips of coloured peppers, olives, red onions, stalks of the green onions, mushrooms if u want to!
Grill the same- all carefully wrapped in aluminium foil, in a preheated oven for about 30 minutes.
In a bowl, break off some lettuce leaves, some iceberg leaves and mix with some cherry tomatoes (if not regular ones will do as well), some chunks of cucumber. When the grilled treasure is cool, mix it all together, tearing off the chicken breast into small pieces. Be sure to pour all the juices in- they are excellent to dip your bread in to eat. You can also put in a dash of balsamic vinegar or some light soy sauce. Mix it all together- this will keep for a day. Ideally make it the day before to let the juices permeate everything :-)