No title!

I can't believe I have not written for the last so many days. Diwali time, so have been busy. A recap is in order. So here it goes.

4th nov: Diwali party for the children at Rabani's. Got there all decked up in my beautiful 'diwali' saree- the one I wear sometime or the other for diwali. So there I am, as soon as I enter, a wave of sadness hits me. The house is looking great. There are flowers, nice kiddie music, great food- it's her own household! And I think, when do I get this? So I sit there missing A, managing A and K, feeding popcorn to A on the trampoline when K rams full force into my arm. And then I start screaming, in pain, nearly pass out and everyone thinks I'm having fun. So it takes people about 30 seconds to realise all is not well. So, long story short- I nearly escaped getting my arm snapped in two.It still hurts. So A stays at home, I pass out with sheer pain and depression and then we start cleaning.
Of course my mother in law has to be a complete $#@$# about getting the room cleaned while we were gone!
I can't believe I actually let this spiteful old woman run/ruin my life.

And then A ad I take the kids out to food. We had a great time.

Next morning Diwali day, we have great breakfast. And this of course has to be ruined by this jealous old woman who can't bear it if A and I are happy together. Push comes to shove and for the first time, I give her a piece of my bloody mind. She comes to room to apologise. But of course, this is after I am plunged into the depression I am trying so hard to get out of. I make an ass out of herself- I start crying. And now Diwali is ruined.

So I call up my younger sister- I have been doing that every single day of the week, to find out what the plans were. And we decide to meet up at Humayun's Tomb. We get there, and I am thinking, it's still so awkward with these guys. It's as if we are meeting strangers, so polite and so no interested. And as for my younger sister- that's material for another post.

So we get back home and start lighting up and decorating. Then made everyone have a shower and sit down for puja, for which last year the whole house had gathered- this year no one except Neha...and very reluctantly the above mentioned woman.
Surprisingly it was the best puja I had done in years. Post the puja, we lit up all the candles and the oil lamps and it all looked very beautiful.

We went to my parents' house and meet my elder sister who's just landed in the morning from the U.S. Her children are wonderful, her husband as well and we meet warmly enough. At least we exchanged a hug- my younger sister and I have yet to exchange a 'hi', let alone 'happy diwali'. And I am saddened by it all, all over again.
The easy camaraderie between my sisters and their husbands and their children- wow, where and how and why did my family stay excluded from all of it?
I guess the joke is on my father, who all his life was excluded from his own family- curses them till today , let the exact same situation happen in his own home. And what has my mother been calling for? the taxi's not here! the rooms need to be booked! this needs to be done. I am the idiot who runs around with two small children and then gets to know of the fun that everyone had, much much later.

And then today A went to work- saturday and after diwali.
And my maid called and was being funny- I think she's quit.
And my driver called in and tried to lie his way not to come in!

These are the days of my life.