2012

So any plans for the new year yet?

I know the ones we had haven't really gotten on track till now but hey who am I to say no? And although I wanted to write about so many different things, I guess the one thing that is non controversial and top of mind is the New Year's eve!

Also praying hard for all my friends going through terrible times- really feel for you my friends and pray and hope that with the new year 2012, our kismet changes as well.

The one who's daughter is suffering from a terrible something- I pray on behalf of my entire family, that your baby girl becomes absolutely fine and comes back home happy. It would take some time to get out of this and I pray that God gives you strength and happiness as a family again and soon.

The one who went to rescue her mother from an old age home- I pray you and your mom spend many happy years in each other's company. May God bless you for being so considerate and so helpful. You were there for us, we are too- for you.

The one who's living away from her husband of many years- I pray you find happiness and the inescapable note of sadness from your voice leaves it forever. May you be a family again- happy with each other.

The one who is a single mother. She's been through a terribly tough time which has lasted years. She has fought with all that life has handed out to her and though she doesn't have all that she wants, she's thrashed the fuck ups with all her might and I do believe she is a winner. May you find someone to love and cherish you the way you deserved to be loved. May you find lots of work which gives you a lot of satisfaction. May you finally get what is rightfully yours- everything your heart desires.

And my husband and my little children- May you find happiness with me and find in me- a less irritable wife and mother. May God give us peace and happiness as ONE family - finally.

Happy 2012.

Martina....

Thanx for being there.

We really love you and think you are doing a great job.

You are fabulous just the way you are.

(and yes I am shamelessly using this as an excuse to complete my numbers :-)

No cupckaes at midnight!

Not that i wanted to eat them...just wanted to make the promised batch for my babies Christmas morning breakfast.

But I dozed off, putting them to bed and when I woke up, it was already too late- considering I currently inhabit a full house with almost the same number of people per square meter as a crowded beach!

And although my dear husband said what the hell- just go ahead and cook, I thought the noise of the hand mixer would draw more than a fair share of 'what the hell do you think you are doing in the middle of the night'!

So I gathered material for the morning-falling short of a couple of ingredients (hopefully the poor soul will run to the market early morning to get them!), and hope we have a freshly baked cake (i decided against the cupcakes) for Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas everyone! 

and the ones with the double standards...

...are not always or just the people I am related to, even by marriage!

On one of those rare occasions that I sneaked out for a Christmas-y eve at a friends' place nearby, met a whole lot of people. And it feels nice to meet people. Nice people.
Long story short (and this post is basically to cover up numbers...have to reach at least as much as last year!)- ran into someone I knew very well till some time back. So well, so well. Turns out I did figure her out pretty well.
Anyway, so here's this lady who has told me in no uncertain words, her opinion of my food, my taste in music among other things and had really belittled ALL Hindi music claiming complete lack of knowledge of the Hindi music scene. Guess what I caught her dancing to 'Choli Ke Peechhe'!

Ha Ha...now I do know what goes on uske 'surface ke peechhhe!!!

The Dirty Picture

I have no idea why everyone is going gaga over this very mediocre film.

I like Vidya Balan- just wanted to say it at same time of proclaiming that the film is very average.

The film is loosely 'inspired' by the life of a southern siren Silk Smitha. They have shown Vidya Balan and her ample body to perfection; actually like nobody could. She is the one on screen actress besides Kajol, I adore. You really don't need to ask why. Hello? With a two-baby-body, I know I don't have the time to work out and aspire to be the fitter ones, so if these babes can carry it off, so can I. Yippee!

Back on track- the film is quite crap. Lots of cleavage, lots of titillation, lots of implied sex, lots of irreverent dialogues mouthed almost obscenely by the protagonist but where's the acting?

Has anyone seen 'Black Swan'? The internal struggle, the pain, the sheer agony, the almost psychotic devotion to the ballet portrayed so beautifully by Natalie Portman. And this particular film even boasts of an almost lesbian scene besides scenes of self pleasure and not once does the film try and ride on it alone.
Truth be told, my dear husband asked me this question and got me thinking. I had cheated on him a bit and quietly saw the downloaded copy of this film (so I am not prefect). He asked me if it was worth watching, was the turmoil even come close in intention to the Black Swan or was it only short dresses and boobs?

Would not take my two year old also too long to answer- Boobs!

It is a filmi story- poor girl becomes famous by using the only thing she has- her body. Said girl unable to handle neither her success nor her temporary failure. So far so good. What would've made this film infinitely superior- using some of Vidya's acting talents, may be meeting up pre-production some people who actually knew the lady in question...

While everyone can not be a Natalie Portman, nor can everyone make another Black Swan, the producer's laughing all the way to the bank.
Seems like the joke's on the world- the rejection of SS and her subsequent suicide led many many years later to this film based on her life, which goes on to make tons of money!

Nebuliser

Well...A Jr had to be...poor thing has been ill since more than a month. And I have had to do it. Of course he's terrifies of it and I would've been as well. Takes very poorly to it and cries the whole time!
The year's almost ended.

When will this hell of a situation end for all of us?

Beat It!

I nearly did!

Just didn't want to write. Just could not.

Could barely on.

Somehow I have come this far. And then I saw, my vow to beat the last year's total number of posts doesn't have a chance in hell, unless I blog like a mad person that is.
The problem with me is, I put the pressure- ON ME. How stupid can you be? Nobody's holding a gun to my head saying, and here it gets reallly (that's why the 3 'l's) corny- BEAT IT (the last year's number that is).
I do it to myself. Maybe I can cheat and write one line per post and still BEAT It. Ok enough of the beat it!!

Of course am still not allowed to spend extended periods of time on the computer, so...let's see.

How have you all been- my millions of fans worldwide?

Anna Hazare and other Issues

To be very honest (and it is always followed by something negative, sure enough here as well), I don't know the scene by scene details of this whole issue, which has taken the whole nation by storm and is keeping it firmly in its grip.

I do know about the principal question and the big furore now. While most of the nation's citizens are up in arms with Anna,  suddenly a large number of the 'thinking' populace is divided in its opinion.

It is a joke. Really, it is.

I don't have too much to say about this. But I do want to say, out of these who are now deriding Anna's method of protest amongst other things, how many of them have ever truly tried to help someone else without any ulterior motive?
How many of them have ever tried to break up a fight between total strangers when they were a witness to it?
How many have stopped their air conditioned cars when they saw someone needed help on the road?
How many have even written a letter of protest against some injustice, regularly meted out to the citizens of India?
How many opened their laptops or computers to pen down a mail against the scandal that were the Commonwealth Games?
How many even VOTE?

If someone is doing something against the corruption and other very basic issues which plague the fabric of our society, our government, then let them.
If you can't stand with them, at least let them do their job- and if in the process they get a bit of long overdue publicity, then so be it!

Old Hindi Movies

I am a huge fan of those.
It still takes me a fair bit of coaxing to be a able to sit through a new flick- barring a few exceptions of course; but old movies I can rewatch any number of times.

Maybe that's what I will do once both my babies go to full time school- sit and watch movies! I don't really think so, but I do believe there's a fair chance I will watch my favorite bits.
I love the music, the actors, the stories- all. Among these I have my criteria as well- some actors like Nanda, Sadhna, Mala Sinha, Rajendra Kumar, Rajesh Khanna in his post Aradhana bad hair days and many more are a complete no no!

My fav old films- Anubhav (the Tanuja, Sanjeev Kumar starrer and not a soft porn movie of the same name), Masoom, Ijazat, Namkeen and can't think of any others at the moment. But this is a fair idea of the films I love. I also like the likes of Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron, Ab Aayega Maza, Kisi Se Na Kehna and even Chameli Ki Shaadi- the crass hit of the eighties!

But when I want to sit down and watch a bit something like right now, I can't even make up my mind :-)

A Note On Independence Day

Happy Independence Day to all my compatriots.

Cliched but true- if only we realized the importance of freedom, we would definitely behave more responsibly. And this of course directly translates into a whole lot of things, culminating of course in a better life for all, for generations to come.

But of course and quite unfortunately, the condition of my country is quite similar to that of my current domestic situation- bad decisions, short sightedness, complete lack of unity and no sense of self respect. And with that if you get a clear-as-glass picture of the murk that I currently inhabit, so be it. After all, it is true on a much bigger scale for all of us in India today.

And before all your misplaced patriotism makes you pronounce me a cynic and whatever else forms a part of your vocabulary, it is very important to stop and reflect. What is it about India today which will make me proud of being an Indian?

I reflect, think, debate and think some more every single day with the same sad truth- very little.

Are we able to provide basic food and shelter to all?
Is education a given regardless of social or economic background?
Have we been able to bring corruption down to almost digestible levels?
Is personal security not even an issue to be thought of?
Do we have electricity, roads, clean drinking water for all?
Have patients stopped residing in men's restrooms awaiting medical attention in the premier hospital of the country?
Is medical attention available to all?
Have we risen beyond our own separate castes/ religions/and whatever else that divided us centuries ago to embrace our nation as one?
Do we not plan and hope and work feverishly towards escaping from this country in search of better opportunities and relentlessly egg our children on to finding lives elsewhere?
HAVE WE BEEN ABLE TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT LEADERS TO GOVERN US?

The list is tragically endless.
And all the answers veer towards the negative if not outrightly so.

Happy 15th August to all.

Singapore II

Here is why I would make a lazy (my first instinct was to say bad but then I thought I can't really use the 'B' word, just in case some prospective employer is reading and is on the brink of giving me my own regular column; hence I will stick with lazy :-)) writer.

Because it's taken me more than a month to come up with the second part of my series on Singapore. Hang on, I just said a series- frankly I don't know it myself, so we'll see how it goes.

Left looking at the beautiful night lights and the Singapore skyline from our very own balcony, I must confess it was where we sat for long periods of time, perched high in the balcony, exhausted from the day's wanderings with two children; to enjoy wine, beer, cheese and olives. It was the scene of many a midnight feasts.

OK, back to the details. Swissotel turned out to be fabulous choice for many reasons.

Although it has what I think one of the best locations in Singapore (you have to ask for the Esplanade facing rooms  and trust me with a great camera you can make everyone believe that you actually saw the Merlion -hee hee); it has very competitive rates.

It's great value for money for 5 star luxury.
The staff is very friendly and not at all snooty- and I talk from the point of view of a person with colored skin WITH two small children!
They are very well connected- the hotel sits ON a train station for those who'd like to travel with the very efficient MRT, the taxi system is organised and they do not fleece you. There is also a mall within the huge hotel complex which has, as its part the Raffles hotel, the F and has easy walks to the Esplanade, the Quays, the Chinatown and pretty much anywhere except the Zoo and the Sentosa Island.

In fact this is one thing I have to stress and re stress about Singapore- EVERYTHING is walking distance! Please do walk. I agree it's really humid, and it gets quite unbearable especially during the day. But it's still a fun place to walk, because the city has footpaths, traffic rules, people who follow traffic rules, you can wear pretty much what you want or not and rest assured that you won't be visually stripped naked unlike in  Delhi. It's freeing, this feeling and heady as well! The first time I felt like this was in Goa; people have seen too much nakedness in those parts to worry about someone walking around in shorts! There is of course the difference in cultures, or as in the case of the Indian capital- the lack of it.

To get back to the point, when in Singapore- walk!

We did as well. And we thoroughly enjoyed it all- the Zoo, the Universal Studios, Chinatown -where we stumbled upon, of all the things in this world, a genuine Tintin shop. This Shop stocked all things, obviously Tintin. There were mugs and bags and notebooks and books and models and things I have quite frankly forgotten. But more than Chinatown itself, it was this shop that totally wowed us.

More to follow...

Ha!

My last post with the title- 'this post has swear words', has had more hits than others.
Ha!
Again, HA!

It must've come as a disappointment to those looking for more colorful words; this one had not nearly enough nor nearly too colorful!

Good strategy for getting unsuspecting readers.

Maidless Again!!! Also this post has some swear words :-)

Well, if by reading the post header one thinks- wow more housewife woes; you are damn right!

I am super tired.

I am also super tired of looking for one. This one, being too good to be true; also because she came by herself- I just had completely stopped looking; of course therefore was not meant for me. And this sentence sucks.

My vertigo is making my life hell and am having a tough job just to stay upright.

I do thank God for whatever help I get.

This post is real crap and probably will delete it soon enough.

Following Farhan

Yes I do mean Akhtar!

Who would know; did he himself know that he would one day be known not just for his directorial prowess but also for his comic timing?

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara- fabulous flick.

Following Farhan- he could very easily use as the title of his next film.
FF- I have been kind of, ever since Dil Chahta Hai! Loved the movie, the soundtrack, the non filminess of it, the-casual-and-the-not-so-much of it.
The theme that recurs in most of his films is friendship, the one thing that almost everyone can or would like to relate to- friends who will be there for you.

I,  adore the brother-sister duo (Farhan and Zoya Akhtar) for the ease with which they have taken over the hindi film industry. Actually I must say that part of bollywood, which is relevant to me; and I certainly don't mind them monopolizing it. After all, it gives me great entertainment. The films are still quite, well- filmi, but great entertainment.
If I want profound messages, I'll just watch pick up any odd season of the Sex and the city and lose myself in the explicit, sexual, explicitly sexual world of Carrie Bradshaw with lots of fashion thrown in for a good measure. I am not being sarcastic, it's true. For all it's superficiality, every single episode leaves you with something to think about.

Coming back to FF, I have seen almost all the movies he's made or appeared in.
Following Farhan- I definitely want to work with him. 

Orhan Pamuk

....as I just tweeted as well, is now on my list of do-not-touch-again-authors!
I braved his 'My name is Red' and vowed never to voluntarily read him.
And then I became part of this book club where the first book was one I had read ages ago and quite 'not liked' :-);  and the second one was Orhan Pamuk's Snow.

The book didn't look too bad from the initial few pages. My mistake or rather very cleverly written to trap people just like me.
Yeah sure- Mr Pamuk has got all the time in the whole wide world to design strategies to get such 'valuable' readers like me to read his books. He wouldn't just write for the pleasure of it.
Ok now I am losing it a bit.

Thing is I am sure he writes very very well and where as he can put together many books with many pages, I find it extremely difficult to string together a few coherent sentences.
Thing is- I still can't stand his work. And I was so looking forward to 'Istanbul'...now thanks to this book club book, I have been made to pledge to never read him again.

I ploughed  through it, just like characters in this book plough through snow and I thought I will make it.
I couldn't.

This is the only other book to have been abandoned by me; the other one being....can't remember for the life of me!

Joni Mitchell Again

Finally, am nearing the end of sorting out the discography, which I assure you is not a small task. It is in fact herculean!
But as I was telling A, it is totally worth it- each one is a one 'me likey' :-)

Travel Plans...and the trip :-)

I have no excuse for delaying this post any longer other than laziness. Also the fact that I wanted to write and write and write as soon as landed back in Delhi, but then the days got lost in doing laundry worth 8 days, and then not doing laundry as the machine conked off and then buying new machine and then doing laundry!

There you have the complete lowdown on my life in the last two weeks. But you still don't know where I went...well, we finally went to Singapore.

And what I found out- for those faithful readers (bless you) who remember where I left the other post- was 'cheaper rates' at a brilliant hotel!
Well the whole trip turned out to be anything but cheap, but also because my adorable husband wanted us to have a brilliant holiday. My whole notion of not being able to afford Singapore- I dismissed myself. It was my sanity versus our savings- my sanity won!

And just as we were unable to find a single decent hotel out of the dozen or so we contacted, also meaning a hotel of our choice, for the price we were willing to pay; I made A call up the Swissotel. We lucked out. He happened to speak to a wonderful guy in reservations, who gave us a great rate. We got the visas, we had the tickets already, we now had reservations- we were ready to go!

The flight was in the morning and was quite uneventful, if you don't count my younger one physically pooping in his pants twice, and I mentally sh@##$%^ bricks. Wow, if this is the start of the holiday, what could be in store for us?
I pumped homeopathic medicine into him and yes put him to bed in the bassinet!

We reached and were out of the airport in 25- 30 minutes flat, including immigration and baggage. Wo...are we out already?
The airport was quite empty and it felt as if we had arrived in some sleepy little island. Island it is and so green that most trees are mossy as well, but sleepy it is by no stretch of the imagination. A hsort 20 minute ride got us to our hotel. The check in was smooth and the room- gorgeous!

It was a large room with enough space for two big beds, a big writing desk, television- my children were quite pleased, a big bathroom and the icing on the cake- a balcony with what has to be the best view in town. We could see the flyer, the quays, the esplanade- the night lights were straight out of a dream.

Singapore II follows!

Do We Ever Really Need A Pep Talk?

I guess we do.

The power of good words, kind words, words which might actually fly right over your head and which might not mean a thing at the time of delivery, still made me feel loved- after I had ranted at the mere 'words' of it.

It is extremely irritating in the face of grave losses. I mean, I would personally physically harm the person, if they were to say, 'Oh it's for the best!!!'
What loss would qualify that form of pep talk- the loss of dead weight relatives!!!

I guess I am making little sense even to myself- fatigued.

Skype on Mac!

Tried to do a group video call with my sisters on skype. Of course it doesn't work. You have to subscribe to it like all premium content. So we spent a half hour just trying to figure it all out.

Will try and download faetime and do it all over again.

BTW A is talking....

Travel Plans

Oh this I have to share. It could make you laugh.

So even before K's summer holidays started, I wanted to already fix on where we were taking off for a holiday. After all, we now have a school going progeny and we have to plan for when the school is off!

I thought of going to D's...too far away...the thought of traveling with two kids all by myself was straight out of a horror flick!

I thought of renting a house in the hills for a straight couple of months...alas we never look hard enough!

Then we decided on Gethia and miraculously we landed up going as well, straight in the first or was it the second week of the summer holidays!

Even then I was hopping around on one foot saying let's plan, let's plan now!
We couldn't decide on a destination.

We thought of Singapore. A wrote to everyone meaning hotels, got tickets booked and then I decreed that it was all too expensive. Gracefully, A accepted.
I think deep within my heart, I wanted to go visit my sister, just couldn't say it. So I started A's visa process as well and in due time got it.

In the mean time, we thought of and in detail planned for a southern Indian sojourn from Bangalore to Coorg to Coimbatore. We booked hotels and planned activities for the kiddos, spoke to car hire agencies- the works! It just didn't seem right. We even threw in a good three days planning for Chikmaglur for good measure.

We also travelled to Kovalam, Goa, Srinagar and Chennai going on to Mahabalipuram. We had travelled the length of the country so far and were no nearer to finding our destination than two months ago!

So we thought this time, the heart's set on foreign lands. Let's see. How about Colombo?
A really wanted to go to Maldives and went on and got the tickets booked and the hotel too...a lovely place on the sea. The expenditure seems immense.

Back to square one and no closer, we suddenly chance upon Bangkok (as if we didn't know the existence of it before!) and this time everything falls into place- the apartment, the air tickets, the travel guides- everything. And it's true what they say about the place- it's cheap but good!
And then just before we give our documents for visas in, I try to see if there are any travel advisories- there weren't really. But I did get to know that Thailand was hosting it's general elections the day after we were leaving. Now considering the violence which plagued the country in the very recent past, A put his foot down and cancelled all bookings. So we swallowed the bitter cancellation charges of the airline.

Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. The summer vacations are nearly over and we were not going anywhere.

Till the time I discovered something that got us going again.

I will tell you when I get back...

Search...and a lot of non sense

Well this is not a soulful post. This post is about literal Internet issues- search.

Okay...simplifying for the lay people reading me, I check on stats sometimes- OK....ALL THE TIME....OKKKK....EVERY SINGLE TIME I LOG IN...can we move on please.
So as I checked the stats, I have also recently started checking the various sources by which gullible people land up on my blog.

My God...this post just goes on and on...

So why ever would a teeth whitening webbie direct their clients to my blog? My teeth are not pearly white by a long shot, I have many fillings, a couple of root canals- unless...unless they want to divert attention from how horrid it could be for people by directing them to my website?
Actually I got it all wrong, while someone was searching for this much talked about (at least in my blog) dental website, the search engine threw up this blog as a result. Wow...someone out there truly loves me.

Which is why mine is not to question why...just enjoy the increased traffic!

Dysfunctional Families

Do we all belong to them?

Well I don't know about all, but my husband and now by default I too, am part of one. A big one. How the hell did I land in this mess....yes I know the answer is quite simple- I got married.

Maybe I have already harped about my special situation once too many. Maybe it just doesn't interest anyone, why would it?
But if the Bold and the Beautiful can still be on- can you believe it, then I am totally allowed to go on and on about the miserable family I am a part of albeit by default.

Actually forget it. I will keep this inside me till Ekta Kapoor or some other maker of soap operas begs me for an 'original' script :-)

O TODAY :-)

ADELE is good

One of the few contemporary artists I really like in  a world full of Rihannas and the like! Don't get me wrong, she's got a nice voice, Rihanna but I just can't stand her work.
My personal opinion- you just don't have to agree.

The Working Jobless...

Housewife/Femme de foyer/Mothers- some with lots of help, some without any.

So you know which category I fall which is what prompts such posts.

But now I am actually fatigued  or as they say creuvee in french; and I must be if I am thinking in the language.

Thankless jobs- lots of you have them- doctors, teachers, guards, waiters, airline crew; it's a pretty big list anyway. You still get a day off, if not the whole weekend and a month's paid leave. You also just might have some rights, just might!

Not with mothers like me. And by the evening you are so brain dead that the idea of having ANY conversation seems like a herculean task and pointless besides. I guess I could count myself a bit lucky with a partner who pitches in more than he can and does not crib about it. If I have given up active life, the best years of my youth to the pursuit of bringing up children, then he has given up his passions as well. He has completely stopped even trying to play tennis, a sport he's bonkers about or trekking or even just vegging in front of the tele. And I thank him for it.

But when the kids grow up and no longer need me all the time, and when it's a bit late in my head along with a lot of tiredness in my body to start everything all over again profession wise, where will I be.
I will be at a complete loss to even know what to do.
I hate my body already- too much baby fat everywhere coupled with the last blast of air (literally!) from the gall bladder surgery. When do I take charge of it again? When I see this amazing partner of mine just looking at fitter women my age and just simply remarking how admirably fit so and so person is at their age? What will I feel except bitterness?  And what will I say, that I was bringing up your kids so I didn't even have the time to take 5 minutes in the loo let alone follow a fitness regime?

Come on, I know I am being pessimistic here. For all I know all this may never come to pass. I hope my kids pretend to need me even when they don't. I hope I find something that gives more meaning to my life than just being obsessed about food and feeding times and snacks.

I hope...I do.

THERE ARE KIND PEOPLE

I just had to say it, because I met or encountered kindness today.

The first was this gentleman we've known for the last decade- he gave me very kind words. With most others, I take them with a huge pinch of salt; with him the words were right and they were the right words. Not like what I normally get to hear from most of my well-meaning-couldn't-really-care-more friends/acquaintances. I mean, come on, I am not calling every single human being I know mean or selfish, I just don't think people care...enough. And even though the love ballad by Extreme is one of my all time favs, still something about words!

The second was this blind gentleman who makes his living by selling dusters etc in Khan Market- he gave me kind words too! He said he found me kind and even though he couldn't see- he could see me! I don't have anything to say that.

And the third was this 7 month pregnant woman who I didn't know till last week. She came to my house for a pedicure- yeah yeah too lazy and I promise I didn't know she was preggers! Anyhow, I cancelled on her yesterday so she called me back today offering to come and help knowing, as she said, I have no maid! Wow- that would mean juggling her work and she's pregnant!!

Basically it means I like people being nice to me. Who doesn't?
Basically it also means there aren't too many people who are being nice to me. Maybe there aren't too many people being nice to anyone! A bit loser like to say that- but hell, if it takes three relative strangers to bring tears to my eyes and re-realise that kindness does exist, then so be it!

All Izz 'Not' Well!

The title of this post is totally lost on non Indians or non followers of Bollywood or those who didn't see Amir Khan's 3 Idiots!

Just a very roundabout way of saying we are, all of us, very ill! What are the chances of that happening? Not many...but it's true and high fevers, bacterial, viral infections, antibiotics rule the roost.

Waiting for it to finfish off...as my older one says!
And just to make it easier for me, went and bought tons of baubles (translation TWO SILVER RINGS...WOW...Blue Nile..wait a bit!)

ILL AGAIN!

Feel so ill...hate this feeling of not being in control and to top it all...the idiot of a driver ditched on us at the last instant!

Worried...

How could I not be?
When is the big change happening? Where do we move from here?
Everything that we would like to have is super expensive and everything that is available is out of reach.

How do you step down....way way down?
Now I know a bit of how the 'mighty' feel in 'how the mighty have fallen'...not that I lay any claims what so ever in being mighty etc, but...

Having stayed in this little piece of heaven right in the middle of Delhi, with the lowest crime rate, with parks so green, with children's areas so well looked after, where when we go to the terrace we get a great view of the Lodhi Gardens....how do you move from here?
I know it's the sweet sweet lure of liberte...where one definitely prefers one's own heaven even if it's in the middle of shit to living in shit in the heavenly surroundings!

If it doesn't make sense to you, don't fret...if ever you find yourself in a similar situation, you will know!

Left Out

So what do you do when you feel left out?

It could be at 5- my older boy complains sometimes of being left out at school.
It could be at 35- like this evening at a friend's daughter's birthday party. Admittedly it doesn't happen as frequently at our age, apart from my own house, but then we are dysfunctional!

After writing this whole post, the internet connection somehow got disconnected and now I have to sit and write the whole thing again. Which I don't particularly want to.
Summary:

We are sitting out with this friend's husband having an interesting conversation.
Husband- hers, gets pointedly called in to join a small group. Pointedly, because we are pointedly left out. If it had been K, I would have tons of spiel to spin to him: join the fun/ do not complain, blah, blah!
But somehow this rule did not seem too applicable to our situation.
Of course it didn't help that the hostess seemed quite impervious to the whole thing. She was a part of this small intimate inside group. So you know when you are not wanted.
What do you do?

You say your goodbyes as gracefully as is possible without hurting your cheekbones (from too much smiling) and know that you can't possibly let yourself be in a similar situation with the same people.
One off your list.

It's Good to be OLD!

Yes, it does feel that more and more.
The power of growing old. The knowledge that comes with the 'advanced years' and the confidence.

I had gone for a meeting this evening. I met a young young girl. She was as old as I was when I actually got married. But her age was oh so evident and maybe mine was as well. I certainly was not jittery- AT ALL. And as I looked at the girl, I realized it felt good to be as old as I am.

Maybe I won't feel the same when I am in the swimming pool with a bunch of 20 somethings with their firm corps and compare them to my sagging bits and wish for the pre-two-kid-body, which by the way is totally achievable and possible even to better it!
But at the same time, I also know it won't really matter- my sagging belly, because it doesn't really matter. Body hair (gross! I know) doesn't really matter. How do I care if someone finds my moustache offensive, or the little hair on my legs when I wear a skirt. If you don't like it, look the other way mister, coz I do not care.

And I can say that now that I am on the right side of 30.
But come to think of it, I always was!

Gethia.

Just ran away for the weekend. To a place called Gethia. I had heard the name 12 years ago.
Was pleasantly surprised to know they were the same. Owned by the same people. It was a beautiful house. Every thing had been thought of. The children were happy. Anuj was too.

The lawn was great, so was the pool. The food was brilliant, the people as well.

The bathrooms were huge.

Wow

Runaway

Well going through the crap as we are and such pressure, we try and run away as frequently as possible. Even when I try and explain my situation to people, I am sure not many even get half of what they are hearing. It's just not possible- such dysfunctionality. It is possible as a third party occurrence- we read about such people and such families in the newspapers; Ekta Kapoor makes television serials based on them- By the way I am never again questioning the authenticity of the seemingly inane and impossible plots. But they do not happen to your friends and acquaintances. The number of times I've had to hear 'Are you kidding me? is irritating.
No I am not kidding. Would anyone be able to make up stories like these? Why would they? Would they be such a brand of losers that they would want to show themselves in such poor light. Pathetic.

And maybe I or my situation appears so for others as well, but should not be the case with my friends?

Anyway, I had initially started this post off as a post about my weekend. But that will be another untainted by this sh#!$@y house talk.

I just don't wish the situation I am in or even half this bad on anyone who's ever wished me well.

Addicted!

I am...to mahjongg!

I had fought this addiction some time ago, to be precise before A jr was born. I would play the damn game for hours. I thought it gave some much needed exercise to my otherwise starved brain, and maybe it does.
All I know is that I am a game freak, and I love it.
Today I got a slightly delayed mother's day present from my babies- a board game called scattergories!

I am content and I thank you God.

TIRED

Am so tired today and seem like the end of my tether as well. Am just beginning to lose it!
Birthday party after party- hopefully now with the schools having closed down, it's going to be dormant for a while.
My friend, another one is moving out of the country- got to know of it yesterday. And another one went this Sunday.
Not many left now. In fact very few.

Too tired to make new friends. Too tired not to have any.

Civic Sense? R U Kidding?

So embarrassing to say if you are in India, and more particularly in the northern belt of let's say the national capital region, you would be deluding yourself if you expected some civic politeness from the citizens.
What does it say about the country? Lots.

I was at a bank this morning with my little one in a stroller and found myself trying to open the heavy door while maneuvering the stroller- not an easy task. And all this time two guards, and other bank personnel just looked on. They literally just looked on? Maybe it was their idea of a daily dose of entertainment, the high point of their dumb days. In all probability they just didn't want to come across as being wimpy, opening doors for women with infants, or for that matter anyone.

Why are we a nation devoid of any etiquette?
The answer even more embarrassing- the lower ranks behave as the head of the organization does. So what example is being set for them in a country rampant with national level corruption scandals, bribery, cheating and crime; where power lies in the hands of those 'unempowered' by even the most basic education, where ability does not necessarily translate to empowerment, where women are well 'women'.

What else would you expect in a nation like this?
Where you can't take a taxi without haggling over the price, even though there's a perfectly fine meter.
Where you try and fleece foreign nationals because they get the 'dollars'.
Where you are happier staying away from the police.
Where there is basically no logic to the systems which never work anyway!

The argument comes back, at least in my head to population, a drawback which China has so beautifully turned to its resource. We can't even control this most root of all causes, in turn the cause of all evils in a developing economy like ours. We can't even provide the most basic of protection to our citizens nor a shelter over our heads nor food. Please don't forget this is the country where our farmers regularly commit suicide because they just can't go on any longer.

And what happens when all this is going on? Is there a national hue and cry? Kind of, in the dailies or the numerous television channels. But what happens then? Do policies get made? Does the money allocated reach the needy? No.

And all this boils down to our looking the other way when a woman is being beaten on the road. It happened when I was 8 months pregnant right in front of my house. And there was NOBODY except this hugely pregnant busybody trying to get the guy to leave the girl. And all this while a group of young 20 somethings- some 10 odd drivers, told me on being shouted at, 'we didn't know whose fault it was...anyway it's a family matter.'

Family matter- rat's ass!

This is what my beloved country boils down to. And to think I gave up a lot of opportunities to come back to this 'oldest civilization'.
Civilisation? Now you are definitely kidding.

No one's Reading

Why is no one reading BIRTHDAY PARTIES-3?

Now that is depressing.

Of course I check my stats. That's the first thing I do when I log in. My millions of followers are a few hundreds of thousands short, but they have grown from 3 to 15!

How do I feel?

On top of the world.

Age 'Eyeing' Me!

So went to the eye doctor today.
Had blurred vision since a couple of months and had postponed this appointment a couple of times already. And I promise if A had not literally pushed me out, I would've cancelled for sure.
After a long wait at the doctor's, and a funny explanation of the reason of my visit- I sounded like a hypochondriac to my own ears; turns out my muscles are tired tired tired. All this because of blogging in the dark- not because this is highly sensitive stuff and needs to be protected from probing eyes.
Au contraire, it is for the sake of the probing eyes, that I have to write when putting my kids to bed, with the lights off.
Well, I hate blurred vision but at least it's not leading up to wearing glasses.

Sleepless Nights

How I wish they were because of some warm cuddles with A...

No such luck. A junior has been waking up every single night at midnight. Usually he goes back to bed around 1 in the morning, but yesterday decided to be up for 3 hours.
He woke up just as I had finally taken something for my migraine and had A heat up...a heating pad for my neck (ha ha). And then plain refused to go back to bed. I don't know what was bothering him, but something clearly was.

I hope he sleeps through tonight, or it will make me think it's the curse of the B-witch!

Bull-ying :-(

Have had a tough week as far as K is concerned.

It started with a call from school asking for him to be picked up early as he had been inconsolable, crying himself into throwing up. I went, picked up my crying baby and by the time we were 50 mts away, the child was back to normal.
All week long, the pattern continues, with him actually making himself so sick that he could not go to school. Thursday saw me forcibly leaving him with some instructions to the teachers. Same story the next day. Makes me actually go to a child psychologist to figure out if I was doing something wrong. Turns out we are fine.
Also turns out that my angel is being bullied terribly at school, with two older boys intimidating him and his dear friend. They've been calling these poor children names, seeking them out and being so obnoxious that the other kid started peeing in his pants and mine just plain refused to go to school. I did complain to the teacher. I was told they are never unsupervised. Turns out they are.

What do I do about it?
I go and find out tomorrow.

Question: What does one do when one's gentle offspring is faced with the big bad world?
How do you empower them? They will be faced with weak people like these bullies, how do they learn how to survive?
Survival of the fittest.
One more thing to teach.

At the same time, I am SAD.

BIRTHDAY PARTIES-2

I wrote once before about the kiddie birthday parties I had been attending. Time to talk just a little bit more about the same.
For the past couple of months, all our weekends have been devoted to attending birthday parties of K's school friends, sometimes twice in one evening. The whole class is invited. There is a big bouncy. The venues are big- mostly farmhouse residences, and in many cases the return gifts seem to cost more money than the gifts I have given out.

It is a bit scary.

We do  not believe in such. Kiddie parties should be just that- and not a show of wealth. But I guess that really can't be controlled. The kids are happy with a bouncy- it could be in the middle of a park, and cake and yes, you just can't do without it- popcorn! I admit that now before you make your child say goodbye and thank you, the inevitable question of a return gift does pop up, but that is easily taken care of.
And that leaves me with rich parents wanting to spend the most, do the best, have the biggest parties. I was recently at one where the only drink on offer was champagne :-)
Is it just a question of the school your child is going to- I think not.
And the next one, if this is the scale of  a 5 year old's birthday, what will the scale of their weddings be? Luckily that bridge is quite some distance off, not done away with, just to be tackled later.

It then becomes even more important to teach the little ones, value of friendships and all the things money can't buy; 'even though there's mastercard for them'!!!

How did my parents do it? I can only hope and pray we do even half the great job they did.

Axis Bank or Axe the Clients Bank?

I do realize I am just not happy with the title of this blog.
Just because the manager of the branch I have been banking with for the last decade or more behaved like a complete idiot and showed no respect for the customer, should've kind of made me think of something more appropriate like, 'axis: bank with morons, why don't you?' ....don't know- just not happy.

Well that was an understatement when I was so rudely treated by the supercilious and extremely full of himself bank manager on being presented by the simplest of requests, ' Is it possible to have a one point contact with the bank?' It was as if I had asked him to surrender his salary to me! 'Do you have a priority account?' Hello?? Which age are you living in and which age group do you belong to?
We were given a priority account by an amazing account executive who went out of her way to keep the customer happy.
And to this the dumb idiot replied, 'She did what she shouldn't have, no one does it and will not either!'

My my such strong words- it almost made her sound as she was bestowing unnatural favours rather than retaining clients for the bank she WORKS for and actually doing the job she was being paid to do. He twisted my words out of proportion, making 'transactions' sound like a dirty word and told me in no uncertain terms that 'no one would do it'!
Do what? Make a demand draft by debiting money from my account on a cheque I had signed?
Sending a runner home with some papers which needed signing as I had a four month old baby?
Making sure that the credit card guy or the investment guy actually met me?
Sending a fresh cheque book?

Unfortunately it's idiots like this manager who will cost the bank a huge amount of money. And it's even more unfortunate that they will not even get to know about it as Axis Bank does not have a way of getting feedback from their customers. Perhaps they don't need it.

I will go this weekend to close all my accounts with this place and will smirk at the con of a manger as he smirked when I asked an account executive for an account closure form.

Away in the City!!!

That's what we did yesterday for A's big day!
Pending the iPad2- just don't seem to know anyone traveling to the U.S or alternatively anyone willing to carry the same for me; it was the only sane thing I could think of giving my completely bone tired husband.

 Poor moi!

So I checked us into the Trident in Gurgaon for the day. The idea was to stay away from this depressing house and give A some much needed relaxation, especially on his birthday.
It was pretty much what I had wanted from the day- spent almost entirely in the pool. We had a leisurely breakfast after checking into our luxurious 'pool-view' room. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have been able to find any faults with the freshly brewed coffee or the brilliant omelet or the waffles or the presentation of it all!

It was strange to be in the city and yet to feel away on a holiday. I heartily recommend it to all. Just try it- play hookie from work in the middle of the work week, splurge a little on yourself, spend a day of decadence, force yourself not to think of anything at all and see the difference! It will be good.

Budget Travel

...is not budget anymore.

Yes I know these are inflationary times. I also know that prices are not the same as they used to be a decade and much more ago when A and I actually started traveling. Heck we have actually done an Amritsar-McLeodganj-Yamunanagar trip in 6000/- rupees in all, spending on petrol for our dear old Fiat Uno, stays in clean, decent albeit government hotels  and mind you they were definitely not budget backpacker options, food and a bit of shopping!

But now it seems whatever option you might choose, you have to dish out a minimum of 4000-5000 rupees. And these are not even very fancy. When did it all change? Is this what my parents and other people across ages have been repeating to themselves whenever they are confronted by astronomical price of things they just payed peanuts for?

I don't believe so. 'Traveling' in India has finally caught on, with the masses now actually indulging in all forms of it; from weekend trips to cruises to adventure to heritage. I also believe that all those charging the earth now are cashing in on the consumer psyche which wants them to indulge in a bit of luxury even when they 'believe' they can't afford the true luxe offered by the big hotel chains! Little do these poor (ha ha) susceptible people know that the deals and discounts offered by the latter far exceed in terms of value for money.
True there are those who prefer the warmth of a small home-stay to the sterility of a five star hotel. For these there are home-stays in places like Kerala charging 10,000/- and more per night!!! Shocking? You bet it is. I came across quite a few of these options when preparing for our Kerala trip last September. We poor people chose the sterility of Taj- much cheaper, much more convenient and definitely more equipped to handle random touristy demands! But then maybe I can't truly appreciate quality when I see it.

Trust me I am not trying to bring down the private enterprise. Au contraire, I am all for it. Lovely and warm people opening up their houses, their sanctum sanctorums to the sometimes crude and rude critique of people who have no respect for the fact and who demand satellite television connections in a small village somewhere in Hiamchal Pradesh, amongst other equally banal stuff.
I am all for knowing that the owner of a small place where I am staying won't treat my request for an early meal for my children (trust me NOBODY eats at 1830 in India!) as rubbish and would even offer the use of the kitchen for my idiosyncrasies- making my own dinner. It's not always possible and I understand and accept that. After all one is traveling and is trying to be open to everything.
I am all for the fact that the food in the kitchen will be fresh as there aren't too many things leftover like in big hotel kitchens.

What I just can't understand is the money I am being charged for it. I mean, I don't mind paying 3000-4000 rupees for a kickass small family run hotel, where the sheets don't make me itch for the ones I carry in the car. But someone has to sit up and realise that they are charging way too much than is justified.
I have some very beautiful places to recommend which still do not cost an arm and a leg for a weekend trip: Meghniwas in Jaipur, Carlton's in Mussourie and some more.

But the need of the hour is many more of these.
Maybe I will start the trend.

Two followers!!!

My!!!

My fortunes seem to have changed...have TWO followers...thank you for sparing the time to read me :-)

So much...

...Has happened.

Always seems to be the case.

And now it all seems to be closer to the end- which is why I am still here.
And now for loser-tragedy-queen-like-pronouncements, "if the end didn't seem near, I would be flying away, far away.

Burning within me, the images and the memory of the grievous insult inflicted on me.

And the trauma that I now internalize- forever.

And the millions of insults heaped on me- forever.

Yes- you are insulted only if you accept them- how many should I not?

Before I break down forever- a little bird inside me- dead forever.

All  for love, love for all.

I have to beat...

...the number of posts I clocked in 2010. the third month has ended already and all I have to show for this month is 4 posts!

Dear Diary,

I had a decent day today, which considering the circumstances, is good…yes I saw Notting Hill as well. In fact A and I have it marked as our fav chick-flick-for-two!

A friend read my blog and said it was more like a personal diary than a blog. I understood what she was saying then- I don’t anymore. What are blogs if not online personal diaries or extensions thereof?

In my diary I could choose to write about my really impossible than life itself in laws or about issues that touch me- I thought I did both. Maybe it’s the style of my blog- not very bloggish, but then why would this template be available to be ‘templated’?

A jr is now saying ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ clear as day and runs to the sound of the motorbike.

I love my children.

So ill again

Since monday- terrible state I have been in! And if I don't whine on my own blog then where the hell will I? BAD BAD BAD!
Could not breathe...it is the scariest thing in the whole wide world- not to be able to breathe. My nose and its insides were jammed as if there were mobile jammers around someone bloody important- just no go!
It has taken me two whole days to get down to being plain ill. The doctor said he was at quite a loss to see my condition- wow I really am going on and on about my blocked nasal passages. Don't encourage me people or you won't know where it ends!

Tender Hooks

Just finished reading this sequel to 'Diary of a Social Butterfly' by Moni Mohsin, simply 'crack'. Don't really know anyone who speaks like the butterfly with a bottega, or don't I?
Well the book is nicely written in the style of its prequel with the language full of direct hindi-english or is it punjabi-english translation and deliberate mis pronunciations. It is a full on take on what one assumes is the pakistani social scene. But I am pretty sure the parallels exist in all societies from here to Timbuktu and from there to the first world and back! The society ladies all decked up in their newest fashion acquisitions with the must haves and the must dos and all that goes along with it. The fixing of marriages and the planning of parties, the 'show offers' and the not so 'effluents'.
It is funny and I read it in two days flat. Of course the fact that I was laid up in bed and had some hours to myself did help a lot, but the book is quite entertaining in a society gossip column kind of a way.
Totally recommend it- not for die hard fans of Stephen Hawking or Ayn Rand  though.

Don't Know Why...

I know why…

I am with Anuj.

I know now why I do all that I do for him.

I know why I suffer his parents and his gossipy back stabbing brother.

I know why I didn’t run away when his parents started acting so weird with me.

It’s because he loves me just the way I love him.

He loves me- it has finally dawned on me. Become clear like night and day; like clear night and day!!!!

After 17 years of being together, I finally know why he’s with me. He loves me.

"You Do Nothing!!!!"

More  punctuation marks.
Yesterday in school, I spotted my boy on his way to empty put his lunch tray. Eager to know what it was and how much of it had gone down, I'd called out to him and the naughty boy had run and emptied his tray before I could reach him.

Later on, on the way back home, when I asked him the reason for doing so, the reply was ready," I'd already showed it to my teachers!"
"And why can't I see it as well?", said I just a little bit hurt.
"Because they teach me, while you just sit at home!" Ouch. That hurt. Big time.
Retrial,"But I have taught you all these years, and I still do", voice quivering just a teeny bit more.
And the confidant reply,"You do nothing except sit at home and shout at my father!!!"
Ouch. OWWWWWWW.

I know better than to believe what a defensive 5 year old has to say much less sit and cry tears over it. But it did get me thinking, again.
Not about the fact that K thinks I shout at his dad, though I have told A not to argue in front of K: he doesn't get half of it/ he thinks we are having a fight/ he thinks the worse of me as I AM the one who's louder while A is the one who's unendingly argumentative!

No, I started thinking about the fact that it's great for children to have an 'at-home' mother. But after a bit, when they are just beginning to get independent, it's great to get working.
Easier said than done.
Many women give up their jobs and careers to bring up their children well. Most have careers they can't really get back to; many can't having gotten out of the professional mind frame. Others find themselves out of depth with younger and or more technologically competent people taking up their place.
So difficult to get your place back....doubly so to prove yourself all over again and more and more each day as you balance professional and personal lives.
And what about those poor souls who never ever worked and are suddenly faced by this dilemma. Will their children respect them more if they had outside approval in the form of paid employment?

I just had one thing to say to my 5 year old.
"Maybe I should just get you a maid and go back to working as I did BEFORE you were born?"
The instant and vehement,"NOOOOO" warmed my tired and cold heart just a little bit.

So tired...oof!

To say that at 7 in the morning, really sounds funny. But I feel as if I have been working all night and all of yesterday and it's so annoying to feel this way as well. Sure doesn't bode very well for my day...grit my teeth and get on with it!

Sex and the City

I have it all- not really disclosing in public the details of my private life, simply feeling smug about the fact that I have the entire collection of Sex and the City- all the seasons and the first film. The second movie was of course like a paid commercial for Abu Dhabi and completely forced. But I guess they had to show Carrie and Big getting really together- finally and without reservations.

It is a fabulously open series, probably the first of its kind. It talked about, well yes- sex- the big taboo without making it look porno. There was a take on all kinds of issues that touch us- yes even us in this third world country, through the New York girl's column. The writer or the team did an amazing job and I sincerely hope they are all earning big money and even bigger accolades. The fornication-obsessed-foursome was a breath of very very fresh air, telling the world in no sugar coated words about women's needs and the needs of women. That it was probably inspired by men- just regular men, doesn't take away at all from it's originality.
That fashion crazy women can also be intelligent, I guess a first. That even the best of friends can fight, that in a group there are pairs closer than others- brilliant.

Why am I talking about it? Laid up in bed, nothing to do- dug out an old dvd and was thoroughly entertained. Try it and remember to keep an open mind.

Secrecy

"Secrecy is strength. It is the power of the paranoid. It is the religion of closed societies where the ruler is sustained by the lies of the state."


I love these lines from an article I read on Yahoo today (http://in.news.yahoo.com/secret-societies-2010-.html ) . Beautifully put- reflects and explains exactly why my in laws behave the way they always have and why they will never win any one's confidence and their trust. 

Sham

From the OST of Aisha, this song is so amazing. Sung by Nikhil D'Souza and Amit Trivedi, back up vocals by Neuman Pinto, it is a gem of a song, which I must've heard many times before I accidentally heard it on my ipod while cooking. And I was totally wowed! Doesn't sound like something out of an Indian movie with regular song and dance routines.
With practically no instrumentation to hide the flaws in the voice, it is a fabulously soothing number.

Try it. You will fall for it!

"FUCTUATION"!!! ?

Yes, so many punctuation marks. I do think this particular word requires it!
A brief history into the coining of this word.
I have been unwell these past days. Husband urges me to go for tea to friends house. I go. I am having lovely jasmine tea. Friend's husband walks in. Friend's husband asks about health- not surprising as I am looking particularly crappy. We discuss our respective crappy health issues. I blame 'fluctuations' in weather. He hears 'fuctuations'.
I lay claim to the word.
But what a word! Wow...can very easily be used to explain anything and everything from an over obsessed suitor (ha!) to ups and downs in the stock markets to moods and their swinging times to emotions.
I truly am a genius and some day some wise guy or girl (I doubt it though...the girl bit...having worked with many girls in many different places, I know one thing for sure- girls don't want other girls to be declared more intelligent especially on their watch)- so excuse me girls, I am rooting for a wise guy- literally speaking to wake up and realize the potential of my intelligence! Hello? anyone???

Someday soon!

Blog post anyone?

And to think…

That I would be blogging every single day, writing something or the other about my life boring or otherwise…

I haven’t written a single word in almost a month, more than a month? Why? Just too distressed/depressed/sad/busy playing tragedy queen that I just could not summon up enough energy to convert my wish to write into actual written words.

Who missed me?

Me!

And to think...

...that I would break my own record of writing at least one post everyday. Well it did seem more than achievable as the year started, but then deteriorated just as soon. I can easily blame it on a lot of things including and foremost among them- the crappy house situation, but finally it's me. I should've been more diligent.
Well, as K's 5th approaches, I will get much less time, but I hope to be more regular.  

Economist- 25th anniversay issue

That's another wow. It's an amazing collection of very well written articles by a whole array of people/experts. Makes you look at some very basic issues and takes them places and breaks down some very complicated thoughts into ideas that are easily digested by the brain. Brain food for sure!

Both Sides Now- Joni Mitchell

Some people are truly blessed with the gift of writing amazing songs. And this truly ranks as my number one song of all times.
I have a lot of music by J M and yet this one shines through most of her work- and it's a lot of work.
How can some people write such brilliant song, putting YOUR feelings into THEIR words; writing about what you are feeling and give such soul stirring music to go with it? Just shows we all go through variations of the same situations and experience a roller coater of same emotions in varying degrees of intensity. WOW...I can't even write a post everyday after going through a full day with my two.

AM I BITTER?

I seriously hope not.

Was just thinking about it...going through my previous posts. I seriously do not want to become the person I myself would hate. But I think, there's hope for me yet. Not all my posts are vituperative. Some are funny- even if I myself say it so!!!

My travel Map from the Trip Advisor

1. Amritsar, India
2. Baga, India
3. Bangalore, India
4. Jaipur, India
5. Kangra, India
6. Jodhpur, India
7. Kasauli, India
8. Leh, India
9. Kumarakom, India
10. Kochi (Cochin), India
11. McLeod Ganj, India

• View my profile
• Create your own travel map or travel blog
• Airline tickets comparison at TripAdvisor

Of terrible Tempers and ruined breakfasts!

 I did that…with my  terrible temper, which I just can not control, ruined everyone’s Sunday morning breakfast.

So what if A hesitated before putting some food in my plate- it’s called consideration for others, which is so ingrained in him. I just needed that and of course the fact that the boys had been fighting since the morning and crying and screaming and it’s all happening in just one room! I just lost it- threw the food- something I am terribly ashamed of and wrecked a perfectly beautiful Sunday morning.

So A says, why can’t we just stay in one room and make the best of things…

I am sad...

Searching…for a little piece of land!

The thorn in our backsides, the never ending search for a suitable place, the location of which, the construction of which, the facilities of the area match up or even come a little close to our current address.

The only thing I wanted was to stay here, in Jor Bagh. Neither A nor I wanted a dime off anyone; all we wanted was to bring up our children in this little piece of heaven in this city fast becoming a hot pot of  crime and crap.

I didn’t grow up here, which is why I know exactly what it’s worth.

A grew up here, which is why, he knows exactly what it’s worth.

Then how come, no one else admits the truth? Because they don’t have the balls, that’s why.

How come, A’s dad now refuses to move having frittered away what wasn’t even his to begin with? How come, a man who is so cautious with his own flesh and blood to the point of downright distrusting them, trusted a stranger and a builder at that with the only thing he had of any value? How come when now he so desperately covets this area, could he not want his own children to enjoy the beauty of it? How can anyone, anyone hate his own children so much?

I have never had the great luck of meeting people like my in laws

These are the kind of people we used to laugh at. And now others laugh at us. I would not give undue importance to what other people have to say about what’s not their business, but the thought of being considered a complete ‘con’ and an ass#@$ only by association, makes me cringe! In truth, it’s the thought that I or A failed to change this clearly idiotic and self destructive course of action on the part of his parents, is most saddening.

And the courage of his folks to ask us to leave just makes me laugh and cry at the same time. What nerve! With no thought for us or our little babies, his parents keep coming up with one horrible option after another, all of them involving our displacement from this little piece of heaven which in the non private state of our house, also becomes a little bit of hell everyday.

If you find this all very confusing, trust me not more than me. All I can do is pray…eat, pray, love? The only thing missing in action- love! 

So why blog?

I ask myself this question many many times.
If I write JUST FOR ME, why do I look at the stats, the first thing I log in to my account. Evidently, I would like people to read me, and not just that, to like what I have written and then maybe to leave a comment :-)...
And quite naturally I feel a bit, just a teeny tiny bit let down when I see the number of hits.
It's a great outlet for me, and my emotions...so do I really want to share? Or be bothered about the number of reads?
So, why blog?

Wow...Are All foreigners like this? No only on Delhibabies!

Voila, here it is again- the question of maids and what the poor foreigners think about us terrible Indians. And, politically incorrect as I am, here's my reply. Do try and imagine the mails to which this I am hoping is the last trail:




I, an Indian, completely 'local', just want to request all to please 'verify from their maids who they might be recommending for a job whether or not they would deign to work with Indians, local or not'.

And Mr Tapper, do write to me or the group whenever you find the answer to the very profound question that you have raised, perhaps showing me the ugly truth about me- having not a clue about me or my background!!!(of course you must have taken into account simple economics)

And for all those who are getting all het up at this very simple request of mine, I do believe someone was furious not too far back at an e-mail/discount/invitation not extended to all 'expats', only americans...so please for once put urselves in our lowly places and get a taste of rude staff.

AND all those who feel terrible at the inhumane treatment of household staff by Indians, my only consolation is that you will heading home sooner or later where you will be completely rid of this topic once and for all.

AND to end this note, I thank God, I have had the pleasure of meeting SOME really good 'expats' in India and abroad, most of whom are very good friends of mine; or else I would've thought forever that all foreigners are racists...please excuse me those who truly are not!
Evidently, most members of this group haven't had the same pleasure- that of making some real Indian friends.

Warmest Regards

Mala Datta

THE PROFESSIONAL CHEF AND THE ONE WITHOUT THE...

I do realize that the title of this one is a bit confusing.
But the simple act of buying the first- a professional tome published by the CIA (he he- the Culinary Institute of America) becomes a big deal as the second one is out there to confuse you.
Which is what happened to my dear husband when he went out looking for the former for my birthday. The second book, which has the same title sans 'the' was offered him everywhere. This particular edition has been written by a top Indian chef Arvind Saraswat and is considered something of a legend.
Why then, would a legend knowingly aim to misguide people. His book, like the other one is supposed to be a reference for students of the hospitality industry. I am absolutely sure he knows of the existence of THE Professional Chef. Why then would he call his book: Professional Chef? To ride on the popularity and credibility of the other. Or it could be that, being Indian, he thought that if one title could be lucky for one when why not him? Did he honestly believe that it really does not matter or that no one would notice or know the difference? Does it not reflect upon him, as a person?
I believe it does. And I seriously am going to peruse his book as well and tell you in great detail whether it matches up or not.
As far as layout, photography, techniques, aesthetics are concerned, I can tell you right away- Professional Chef is not a patch on THE P C!

I WANT...

To do something.
To do something meaningful.
To do something BIG.

After going through a whole gamut of emotions including deep dark depression, I now want to do something and make it big. But what can I do? I don't really know. Sixteen years of full time radio, five years of being a full time mother and the same of being a disgruntled, bitchy daughter-in-law.
But as I would write in my c.v.: hardworking, loyal to a fault and ready to learn ANYTHING.

Happy Birthday To Me!

I turned 36 yesterday.
A gave me everything I would've wished for, including this Macbook, but and the only thing missing was more time spent together. We were together all the time...just want some us time now.
Time to preen...my birthday gifts:

macbook
the professional chef
professional chef
and a day away from home :-)

A truly special gift…and kind too

So I am at a store ‘just looking’ with no real intention of buying- I didn’t like most of what was displayed.

So I hear this beautiful music playing in the store and I ask to be shown the cover of the CD- they were prayers being sung to Guru Nanak.

So, this sales assistant just hands me a brand new CD- as a GIFT!!!

I seriously haven’t ever come across this kind of generosity, especially not in Delhi, especially not by sales assistants who are openly rude if you decide not to buy anything from their store. I insisted on paying- he insisted that I not pay him for a gift.

I am truly touched. I will have to pass on this gesture of kindness.

Retail Therapy and a Birthday Present

Well, why not? It’s the perfect way to relieve any kind of pain, especially if one’s birthday is approaching and one wants to feel good and one’s husband wants them to feel good.

So one tags three children along- wow that sure is a great way to feel fabulous. Hoping against hope, that I would be allowed at least five minutes to check out a couple of tees at M & S, I trudged in with three kids of various ages and a stroller. But as it WAS hope against hope, it was not to materialize. So, I took all to the food court to fill their stomachs before anything else.

Of course there was a gigantic video gaming arcade and another huge area with rides...K just had to get on. So I just had to say no. And so on it went, till…of course I screamed at them and then to make up, I let them go on the rides

Tried to find a pair of shoes for myself (yes the same old shoe story), but in the third Hush Puppies store, could not find a single pair in my size. So just imagine my disappointment- I guess some of you can while my own darling A just can’t. The funny thing is that if such a thing had happened to him, he would’ve been mouthing obscenities at one and all refusing to buy shoes forever.

But because it’s me, I am not allowed. That’s the funny thing about A.

So, here I am now feeling sad sad sad, when a couple of minutes back I was so happy inside having spent some serious time and some serious money on books.

Maybe a birthday present, instead of all the THINGS would be a promise- something he will keep, not to just say things. The worst thing about this habit- it’s just between him and me. Now that’s truly special!!!

Apart from the fact we love each other to bits and would do anything for the other.

My Blog is Personal

And is about personal issues, so if anyone has an issue with that, please don’t read it. This  should be the statutory warning accompanying my blog. To borrow from Meera Syal, life is not ha ha hee hee, and these posts reflects that.

I suddenly realized this as I sent my blog link to an acquaintance…most of what I write about are very personal  things which touch my everyday life; stuff that most people might not be interested in. I am not trying to dissuade the millions who follow me in to not reading me, just…warning: read at your own risk.

Devil in Disguise!

No this time, it’s not the lovely other woman in my life- my mother-in-law, although she more than fits the bill; believe it or not, it’s actually for me.

So why? Trust me, when I started writing this post, I had plenty to write about but between then and now, my two haven’t slept although it’s way past their bedtime (how will the older one get into his school routine from tomorrow?), have managed to infuriate me beyond belief- yes I know they are angelic, sweet, little children) and just turned my evening plans (that of settling down finally and comfortably in front of my macbook) upside down.

I can carry on through the day, but come late evening, I just want someone to wave a magic wand and put them to bed in a jiffy. Which I guess one would be able to- just turn around and switch the light off as one murmurs ‘good night’, just as they show in the movies, if and it’s a big if, they had their own rooms. But, and it’s a big but (ha) ((one must absolutely read Arabella Weir’s Does My Bum Look big in This?)). So coming back to this bummer, such is not the case so one just has to be a devil (now I get why I started writing this one, phew) and brave it somehow…

A Day of Migraine!

For all those who suffer from them my sincere whatever it is one says to fellow sufferers. I had a bad one yesterday and am still kind of recovering from it.