Organic Parenting!!!

What a fabulous new term! And I will take complete credit for making this term popular although it wasn't really coined by me.
In keeping with yesterday's thread, I happened to be discussing a similar issue with a colleague of A's, and she turns around and says,' Please do not say anything...you guys are completely organic parents' or something to that effect. And I know exactly what she meant. What she meant was that we are, for what it is, completely hands-on parents.

And in a way given the over all flavor of things, 'Organic Parents' seems to hit the perfect note. As all things organic, organic parenting should also be patented and copyrighted (I apply for both right now). As a certificate, it should be awarded to parents who slog all their waking moments trying to do the right thing. Well I should be politically correct now and non judgemental while I'm at it, and say to each his own way or who am I to comment on others and their way of bringing up their progeny.

But please do excuse me if I don't take that position. Children are the most fragile things we have to take care of and if we can't even do that, then really we should not be allowed to have any. Couples, where both partners work are by no means the ones I am targeting. Because plenty of those have all their fact right and in spite of not being able to spend all their time cleaning their children's crap, managing and setting up play dates for them etc etc, still manage to do a decent partial 'organic' thing.

But I guess the term definitely excludes those who, simply because they don't want to be encumbered by the million and one demands that a little one puts on their terribly filled up schedules, relegate their care completely to maids and ayahs and other caregivers!

So I'm saying yes to total organic parenting, even though like all other things which are really good, it takes that much more effort to bring about this particular practice!

Growing up woes!

No not mine...but K's...

The woes are not exactly his or maybe he thinks they are! In fact I'm pretty sure he thinks he's in a sorry state of affairs where no one listens to him, where he has to shout to make himself heard, where all of us (read parents) are certifiable idiots who are not from the same planet.

When did this happen? When did the new teenage started from 'Nearly 5'? And more importantly why does it? I can go on about how children achieve maturity way earlier than their 'parently' counterparts or even children 10 years ago. And I can go on about why our extreme stress on egalitarian upbringing of our children drives us insane. What egalitarian childhoods did we have? We were told to do things and we did them and if we didn't, a straight whack wasn't that uncommon. And yet, we grew up to be just fine- no traumas, no tantrums!

And here I am, buying new books as they come into the bookstore; getting games and other goodies just because a child has been ill with fever for four days!

And yet I still hope I am not wrecking their childhoods by me and my moods. Well, to each his own and finally these are the days of our lives and one hopes to be the best they can be as parents, even if not the best human beings.

Chicken Shwarma at home

Janna Gur does it again- give a fabulous recipe which turns out to be great. So if you like chicken shwarma and are unable to find a decent place to eat from, here's what you have to do:

• take deboned chicken thighs- I took nice ones with bones as I didn't have the time to debone them- take two for example
• line an oven dish with foil and place the meat on it
• pour a generous amount of olive oil
• take a tea spoonful of garam masala and sprinkle on top
• add some chicken soup- powder or liquid, the recipe didn't specify and in any case I didn't have any, so I used  a maggi seasoning cube
• put aside to marinate for as long as you can afford to- I had about an hour and more
• preheat the oven and bunk it in for 45 minutes
• in the meantime fry some onions in some oil and when the chicken is done, put the marinade in the oil and then the chicken in it for a couple of minutes- till it is golden in colour
• serve with the fried onions and you will enjoy every minute of it!

my husband did- so whatever version this is- it's great!

Finding Diaries...

...Is even harder than finding shoes in this country.

I really fail to understand the reason behind this. The only diaries available to us are boring and even more boring! Is it really too much to ask for, to have an option in funky colours/week to view or other layouts/different companies who publish diaries? Maybe it truly is!

Maybe the diary manufacturers across the world deem Indians to be non connoisseurs of the fine points of 'diary appreciation'. I start looking for a decent spread(!) in the month of December and I'm always told at every single bookshop/stationary shop, "Sorry we don't stock diaries/Sorry we have only these boring diaries...are you not the privileged one?"

Once I got a pink Collins- no longer available.
Once I got the super funky 'this Diary will Change your Life'- no longer available and never heard of ever since.
Twice I brought the Granta- we don't know if we are getting them again!

Why is it so difficult, I ask myself this question, to pamper myself with a decent Rs 500 dated day journal? But try as I might, I fail to get an answer. Come December and my husband starts scouting the shops far and wide to get his beloved wife one of her all time passions, after cookbooks of course. but all to no avail.

One year was good as well when my sister from across the oceans sent me a beautiful Monet diary...wow, my ecstasy knew no bounds. I might have to resort to that again :-(

Why, when across the world, publishers start selling diaries by the middle of the current year; is it so different for us?
Why when India is pretty good when it comes to other product designs whether they are clothes or shoes or ...even call centre hundreds, can someone not wake up and smell the money in this completely ignored and albeit small segment of stationary and therefore make some moolah out of it? Come on, there must be someone with lots of paper works floating around, looking for options to invest money into?
Maybe I will have to take matters in my own hands and ...make a date diary myself!

Finding Shoes!

Is like finding...what? Well it depends on which part of the world you are doing the search! If it's the land of plenty, the U.S., you will find more shoe types to suit all kinds of budgets than there are letters in the alphabet- English that is. But if you happen to be needing decent shoes in India, then only a miracle can help you find them unless you have relatives in the states willing to shop and ship. I am seriously exploring that option right now.

It's not as if we don't spend money  on them or want to. It's certainly not for lack of brands or malls. For some strange reason or maybe just incomprehensible to simpler folks like me, even the 'big brands' like Nike or Reebok or Puma fail to stock decent selections for women or for that reason men! Why, when I am spending upwards of Rs 3000/-, should I choose from exactly ONE pair of shoes (in this case sports sandals)? One store helper had the audacity to actually get ONE MORE pair from the men's section saying, " But they are all the same aren't they?", handing me a pair of very masculine looking sports sandals. There's a difference dude, or didn't you notice the last time you were getting dressed for work? Maybe it's training he lacked, maybe he just had to achieve targets or maybe he struts around his house wearing high heels.

Worse case scenario- you are looking for shoes for your children or babies. In India it means buying hideous, squeaky, non padded crap which does nothing to support the tender baby feet. They are terrible fits and probably hinder proper gait for babies who are still discovering a walking world.

Well tomorrow I try one last time and then I give up and send my sister the web link to the wonderful pair I have seen on the net :-)

Quick Fix Noodle Soup

So here's what you do when you have some veggies in the fridge and two hungry children.

Pour some olive oil in a any pot/pan/wok.
Add chopped onions+zucchini+greens+mushrooms and saute
Also add grated ginger and garlic
Add a dash of soy sauce and some seasoning if you have it handy
After about a minute, add water and let boil and then simmer for about 10 minutes.
In the meanwhile boil some noodles (rice noodles go nicely with it)

Put the noodles in the simmering soup and serve hot...

My babies lapped it up.

p.s...and I also put in some whole malabar green peppers and they gave off such an amazing aroma- also a dash of spice without the bite!

Same Wavelength

So are we or are we not...on the same wavelength? 

After years of being together, I would think we most definitely are...but maybe not all that much. Especially these days. This post will get too personal. So I will not say anything any further except something all women say/scream/think/cry over:  WHY WILL NO ONE UNDERSTAND ME?

You are not alone...

I feel so out of sync. If I thought bringing up two children singlehandedly was not going to be 'all that difficult'...I was bloody wrong. Two children of my own and two more to look after and help bringing up. Does anyone realize the pressure I am under? I don't think so! And why would anyone even bother.

I used to laugh at women in my situation- I laugh no longer. Women who were stuck with in laws like mine, situations as bad or worse than mine and were unable to do much about it except cry and waste their lives crying- in private and public. Yes, I feel helpless and at a complete loss to remedy the situation.
So I become a control freak- for my babies and more so for me. I either not eat and not sleep or I eat lots and sleep not!

A tries to help, but I don't really see him doing what it takes to keep me calm- not argue. I don't think it's possible for anyone in their family not to be argumentative. It's in their blood. They can't help it. And just like this A can't help me either!

Just living in the hope that it will end before I lose my sanity- truly.

Falafels at home!

Finally got to make the elusive falafel at home! And the result was pretty impressive, even if I and all else who ate it say so :-)

So A says, please make falafels. Janna Gur comes to rescue. I follow the recipe and get wow results. The trick was to adjust the proportions- but hey I got the falafels. The recipe I will share now. Its not in details, but details always available to the interested.

• Basically grind together

onion/coriander/parsley/soaked chickpeas/roasted coriander seeds/shipka peppers

• Add cumin powder/ salt/pepper/baking powder and leave in fridge
• Before frying add baking soda dissolved in water
• Fry and enjoy!!!

yum! yum!yum!

Cultural Weekend- II

What did we do this past weekend?

Well, it started with a special reading session for children where I went with K. We had a good time. And now let me reflect. Yes, we went to the club after that for lunch. Sat outside the house trying to decide what to do- suddenly just could not make a decision- mall? silver? what? So finally, A took K for tennis, where they had a ball.
I wish A went to play more often. He just doesn't go. He thinks, he will stay at home and help me- which is a great thought but won't it be better for the two of us if he is a happier person doing what he wants to? He says the same thing to me. And for the life of me I can't think of a single thing to do! Can you imagine?

Sunday mid morning, we went to RN for breakfast with my parents. It turned out to be more brunch than breakfast but was good. We came back to rest a bit and then we were off to B's for the Christmas thing. It was good. Her house was full of people. They were all german and not very keen to mingle either. In all probability, they are wondering what we are doing at a purely expat do. The children had lots of fun and finally so did we.

Came back home and although we were dead tired, waited to wish each other a happy anniversary and then fell off fast asleep.

How the anniversary itself went, is food for another post!

Cultural Weekend

Did I mention we immersed ourselves in cultural pursuits this past weekend? Well we most certainly did, proving A's gentle cribs all wrong, "We never see anything".

The weekend activities were kick started by the bandaloop project performance on Friday evening. We reached Connaught Place to a packed inside and no room to stand outside. We still managed to find a nook to fit our foursome in and caught glimpses, excellent at that, of the fabulous show that was being put up. For those who have no clue, Project Bandaloop is a group that performs in theaters, on buildings and many many incredible settings. Incredible because- how the hell can a group of people be coordinated dancing on the side of the LIC building, 15 storeys higher than ground, suspended by wires while it's difficult not to be Tommy two toes on ground for most of us! (Tommy two toes...sounds cool!) Anyway check out their website for more interesting stuff on these guys.

Saturday was the day of many things- which ones should be chosen- big dilemma!
So we chose Bookaroo, a book festival for children being held the IGNCA. A took K to the event. Most of the activities were geared towards older children but K still had fun. Although A did say the french illustrator was no great shakes. He must be a great at his job but terrible at interacting with children. So we did what we do best and with great passion- bought books.

We decided to give the french mela a miss- sniff sniff!

What we did go for and did not want to miss at all was the evening performance at the Old Fort- the Manganiyar Seduction. It was an absolutely amazing show and have already written about it. Check out their website as well, actually am not too sure if they have one!

Sunday was the taking it cool day with a stroll in Lodhi Gardens, lunch at the club with friends and then a trip to my parents.

The weekend ended on a not so great note with my squabbling with A just before his flight early next morning to Bombay.

All's well that ends well? I don't know what to say!

The Manganiyar Seduction

Boy what a show! It was truly fabulous.


After many bickering sessions, we finally decided we were going to this show I had accidentally read about and what everyone was talking about already- trust us to be the least informed of the lot! Apparently this musical had travelled the globe and had been brilliantly received by all. Its most recent performance was last week in New York.


So kids in tow, dinner packed, jackets worn and much later than I had wanted to or originally planned, we set out for the Old fort where the performance was to take place. Of course we very nearly didn't go- fight over parking etc. Anyway jumping the unpleasant bit, we finally are in the stands- we had bought the cheapest tickets to stand around. guess what, they turned out to be as good as the most expensive ones as we were standing up close and personal to the stage- the only difference being that they were sitting while we stood around.


The show started late and the children found the novelty of being out so late(8 p.m.) wearing off, we were just hoping for it to start. It did. What an amazing show. The music was excellent and the conception as well. The musicians- I counted at least 32, were all sitting in lit up rectangles inspired by the peep show windows of Amsterdam. The whole arena was plunged into darkness and the lights would go up only in the performing window. It was beautiful - I know I have mentioned it already. And of course there were powerful vocals, great instrumentation and even better coordination.


The music of the manganiyars is not strange to us. Far from it, in fact. A and I used to love listening to it ages ago and loved it even then. There were all the typical instruments one would expect from a Rajasthani folk musician- khamancha, murli, been, dholak and many more.


K slept in the middle of all the noise while A little sat right through the end.


If one can, one should definitely see it!

So easy to let go!

Believe me it is!

The past week has been terrible for me and I'm sure I have made it terrible for A as well. Reached my lowest point on Tuesday- crashed in B's house where she literally put me to bed. Felt as if I had gone to the other side. Nothing touched me anymore- not A, not my children, nothing.
It's numbing and you feel that if you completely stop feeling everything, it's not a bad place to be. You are not happy but you certainly are not sad. Or maybe you are and just too exhausted emotionally. I have been to that place where all you do is take a step into the abyss and you are free. Except you are not...not by a long shot.

My bling/diamonds/bags are better than yours!

Yes, that was the question haunting most women, a large number of whom I'm sure haven't recovered from the shock of finding their match.

Well it all started with a match, so to say!
It was the VV school track and field meet for junior school. At 9 we were at the school along with a whole lot of parents. What was so reassuring to see was not just the kids having so much fun, but the mothers dressed to the hilt!!! Yes sir, spotted on the ranks were hip moms dripping jewels, hipper moms with bright blue shadow and mascara (it was after all a super cool event) and the hippest were the track suit sporting women- the track suits of course were all of the same fashion brand, all suede or some such luxurious fabric and all in all colours. I could only say wow!
There were some regular women in jeans, I hope they didn't feel out of place knowing they had fallen short by not wearing the coolest outfit from their wardrobes.
It will take me some time to know that I am not doing my little boy a great service by turning up in my non branded track pants (definitely not suede) sans the matching mascara.
But I do have an original 'coach' bag- courtesy my younger sister, while the fake bag ladies hope to hell that the ones they carry will bear any amounts of scrutiny from the seemingly 'plain janes' like yours truly!

Pleasantly surprised!

I truly was this afternoon on the way back from my mother's house. It was as usual a busy ring road and we were moving on when we were forced to come to an almost crawl. The reason for this became clear as we moved ahead- a roadside food vendor had upped all his wares in the middle of the road. The poor guy sat looking at a complete loss and so desolate. Almost at the same time that the thought crossed my mind, we saw the car in front of us- a 7 series BMW my husband tells me, stop with the driver beckoning the sad guy. He took out a Rs 500 note and without a word gave it to the guy. The latter was probably so blown away, he couldn't say a word. All this happened in less than 20 seconds.

We were ever so pleasantly surprised to see this act of generosity? charity? It's good to know that good people exist. It would be a totally different discussion on whether the person was inherently good or just trying to metaphorically 'wash his sins with acts of kindness'. For us, it was and still enough to know that someone helped someone else at a really low points in their life.