Solidarity

Maybe I really need to get out of my house to really write.
Maybe I need to be in a beer cafe at 6 p.m.on a weekday, waiting for a meeting to really know I have a life.
Maybe I really need to get a life.

The past few years have gone by in a whirlwind of moving countries, having children, moving back, adjusting to in laws, having more children, being in the middle of the most terrible family crisis, getting through really troubled times, getting over these really troubled times, looking out for your children, trying to get your mental piece back, and then some semblance to a real life - school runs!

As I sit here, I wonder how I could've done it all and why the fuck am I sitting here??

Is my feeling of self worth at such a low point that I need to work to prove something to myself?  Well my feeling of self worth is non existent- you've got to be kidding me if you think otherwise! I am defined by my kids and by my husband. Whenever people talk to me, I am told that I have great kids and an outstanding husband. It's true. They are. And then I am supposed to feel lucky. I do. But what about me??

I am not isolated in my misery- because miserable I sure am. I am not isolated in my misery- I have the majority of women across the world, across cultures, across classes, across social backgrounds standing somewhere, sitting somewhere asking themselves the same question right now.

So this post is not an answer, not even an attempt to. What it is, is an expression of solidarity with all these women out there. I didn't know where this post was heading when I started to write, killing time, waiting for my friend to finish her work. But I do know, even though many times I believe it to be so- I am not alone.

And finally 2012!!!

Feel like a fraud :-((

Well I do! I do! I do!!

Not because of anything else but because of not having written at all on this platform for the longest time. I haven't used it to express anything and everything that i felt...and believe me I felt everything- shock, disgust, anger, fury, sadness, happiness over things that we have experienced as a nation.

Actually I am stupid- here I have the perfect place to express myself (and those who've managed to read this blog in bits and pieces know how expressive I can be :-)) and I am not really using it..I am in fact wasting this opportunity!

Every time I am in the car, I have an oral blogpost in my head...just wish I had the voice to text translator- my work would be all done and I wouldn't have to bother my tired hands and shoulders to slog over the computer's keyboard!

Holiday Inn, Ranjit Avenue, Amritsar

We travel frequently to Amritsar and only now we begin to find, big chains wanting a piece of this pie.

Our last stay at Ista (now Hyatt) was not that great, and therefore we were a little apprehensive about a property as new as the Holiday Inn in Amritsar, it's been open for only a couple of months or so. Well, we took the chance and I am happy to say, it was for the best.

Even if you are extremely critical, you can't find a fault with the cleanliness, the linen, the furnishings, the fittings- they are all brand NEW...the staff as well. And while the former will wear out with use, the staff will and should, only get better. That said, they were really courteous and eager to please .

The food has been consistently the best throughout any stay mostly anywhere. Please excuse my mixing up of names, but I do believe it was Ajay, who was responsible for excellently poached eggs in the morning (better than what I had this morning at the Hyatt in Delhi- the quality of eggs though could def improve) as well as superlative scrambled eggs for my husband. We had a small hiccup during the lunch, but I am sure reading this, the GM/RM will address the issue.

It is very easy to spoil the simplest of things, and I am delighted to say that the management has put in a lot of thought into details.

Staff to mention:
Kartik at the front desk
Lucky at the pool
Balbir valet

and everyone else.

We stayed at the pool facing suite and had a great stay. Loved the bathrooms- my biggest sour point with hotel rooms.

Suggestions:

Free Wifi

Some bath salts/ bath soap handy or in reserve for the rooms that have a tub.

New books for my boys...

In a moment of multiple drug induced madness (and before there's a thing taken out for me, let me clarify- i have been on antibiotics and various other medicines for almost two months now- no wonder am a little batty!)...

Let me start again, as I digress all the time...

In a moment of drug induced madness, I bought a big big bag of books for my boys who have been so incredibly patient during these last couple of months of my being in a terrible physical state. And just in case, you are thinking of heading to the store to buy some for a kid or two, here's the list:

Dinosaur Sleepover- Pamela Duncan Edwards

Spells- Emily Gravett

Jesus' Day Off- Nicholas Allan

Don't Cook Cinderella- Francesca Simon

Little Mouse's Big Book of Fears- Emily Gravett

I Wish I Had Duck Feet- Dr. Seuss


A Great Day for Pup- Bonnie Worth

Marco Polo- Hachette Series

The Wright Brothers- "


The Adventures of Robin Hood- Marcia williams

Three Cheers for Inventors- Marcia Williams

Brian The giant- Vivian French & Sue Heap

Zoe and Beans, The Magic Hoop- Chloe & Mick Inkpen

The Boy Who Hated Toothbrushes- Zehra Hicks

Sinbad the Sailor- Marcia Williams


and I'm sure I am missing some!

Oh and I had gone to buy books for two kiddie birthdays!

MRI

Hello my dear fellow claustrophobes!

This post is devoted to us all who fearfully eye the big bad cylinder we are about to be wedged into,  who break into a sweat at the mere mention of crowds, who start palpitating at the thought of being in a scanner- of any sort!

I had to face my monsters when I after being in agony for more than two weeks, I had to get a cervical spine MRI done.
And after all the waiting, the not sending my younger one to school, my husband accompanying me- I go inside the room, the technician puts me in machine, and then he puts a restraint around my neck and THEN I am being slid into the MRI machine.
It was going to be easy, a 20 minute procedure. And then the panic hit me as I was going into the machine and I just had to be taken out.

Believe me, I felt ashamed of myself, for not being able to control my panic; and yet just the thought of going back in to the MRI machine, had me gasping for breath. I was breathless for two whole days, during which I found out that there was such a thing as the OPEN MRI machine, and that wonder of wonders we had one right here in New Delhi!

Reached the imaging centre, was shown in to the room and wasn't I in for a big shock...the 'open' machine was way more closed than the closed machine. In position and placed in the machine, the top part of the machine is barely two inches away from your face...I panicked and asked to be taken out.

And then I took a deep breath and asked to be put in position...they were one of the most difficult 35 minutes of my life. I was in a near constant state of panic, breathless with fear and my eyes shut tight the whole time. A was with me, holding my hand and I sure it did matter to some extent, but finally it is  your own nightmare.

I faced it finally, and I do believe I could have gone in the closed machine as well, but only because I really wanted to know the reason behind close to two decades of physical misery.

Still waiting...

More Memories...

This year the Indian summer, and by I literally mean the summer we in the northern part of the country were hit by; was particularly vicious.
I remember growing up in a non air conditioned environment, where the sole way to cool ourselves in the evenings was to head up to the terrace, pour water all over and then enjoy the 'cool' air thrown around by the pedestal fans! Of course the nights weren't hot air blowing dragons- the days were!

Air coolers came in much later and were great during the hot dry summer parts but insufferable during the humid bits. And fridges- there weren't any! Not till I was properly 'growed up' as my younger one would put it.
Big earthen pots kept the water beautifully cold and other things as well! Nothing was made in excess- all had to be consumed the same day or had to be given to the stray cows to eat.

One had to book a cooking gas connection and wait for months before getting freedom from tedious kerosene stoves. The same for a telephone connection- unless you knew someone (the omnipresent ever present requirement to get anything done in India), you could wait for 6 months to a year just to get the fat black instrument, which has changed people's social skills forever. Gone were the days of friends and relatives just dropping in- it all began to be preplanned. True some of these unannounced guests were irritants but still had the thrill of surprise. Now, I sit down every Sunday with my moleskines and plan each day, each play date, each phone call that I must make through the week!

I did not grow up in a village. I grew up right here in the the capital of India and if this seems incredible to you, you CAN go to any village today and see it for yourself! The difference, I guess was in the availability of power. Which again is not saying much considering the power situation in the national capital region this year!

We, are a highly skewed country; much like a little girl dressing up in her mother's clothes- in a big hurry to grow up but the maturity and confidence of the adult years way beyond her reach.
And so we have great cars, great phones, huge international brands and the yearning to be a part of the developed world, but we also lack the maturity of a truly adult nation.
Amir Khan has named a lot of issues plaguing our society today, so I won't even get in to that; but I will end this with a news report I read in this morning's paper- about a political/moral police party putting up warning posters all across Ranchi, threatening acid attacks on girls who wear jeans. Is Amir Khan listening? Or coming up with a nationwide campaign countering this incredible attack on a person's basic right to wear the clothes they want to?
No, the 13 episodes are up. The cameras are off and the spotlight is on the three odd medals we have won in the ongoing Olympics.

No, the childhood I had, was free and untainted. Free of prejudices, untainted by suspicion and though not well to do at all, I felt safe.

Down!

Just one of those days, when nothing seems to make any sense and the things that do, seem hell bent on getting you down.
More than half of my waking day is already over and I am sitting here- looking at beautiful green trees sway to beautiful rain from my living room doors, listening to the OWL CITY one super hit- fireflies; my kids around me and yet my heart so heavy.
Although my mind screams to the contrary, I would still like to believe that I am normal.

Just am hit like a gale force by terrible memories of the few years past. And though I really do try and not to let them cloud my present, there are just some days when I just can't escape.

So dig in deep Mala, and get out your reserve strengths and head out.

Still breathing...breathing deep.

New Book!

This post is quite old- wrote in april- forgot to publish!

Just arrived this morning- Dorie Greenspan's Baking From My Home to Yours!!! Yipeeeee

I really like the way she writes. Although I must say I still have to start trying out recipes from the other book she did for the Julia Child TV project- Baking with Julia child. Although I am verrrrry conscientious about not ordering new books, this one looked irresistible.

When I got it and I went through it- I must say I was stupid enough to say that I didn't like it 'that much'. Who did I think I was- the goddess of kitchen? And please don't even remind me of poor old botoxed Nigella- it's not that I don't like her, I just don't subscribe to her.

Anyway, the book sat for a bit while I considered selling it off. Boy, am I glad I didn't! I baked for a's birthday for the book, and I must say it is magical- baked three cakes from there and all of them turned out to be absolutely incredible. The ingredients are beautifully listed, the variations many and the whole processes are wonderfully detailed.

I love the book- try it. 

Put on your pink eyebrows!

No, contrary to what the title says- I am not into Lady GaGa.

We were holidaying in Sri Lanka- which should ideally have its own series of posts; and in an endless madness of swimming pools and seeing around the country.
Of course no points for guessing which one was preferred by my two boys and so each day began with a sharp whine accompanied by or followed by loud wails of 'pooooooooooool' and each foray into the country's sights accompanied by general series of questions- when do we get back to the pool?

Anyhow, last year in Singapore, I had in a moment of madness bought myself the 'unthinkable' as far as         India is concerned- a BIKNI from topshop! It looked delicious and I thought I will shed all these fat belts sitting on me EVERY FUCKING WHERE and I WILL WEAR THIS HOT PINK thing.

Really, you already know that I never got around to wearing it.

But I did- a whole year after I bought it, the hot pink became hotter and I said WTF it's my body and if after two kids and no exercise regiment later (including hogging cakes), it has some minor layers of fat then so be it. And there in the middle of a jungle, at the Cinnamon Lodge Habarana- I shed my inhibitions and wore my little two piece swimsuit.

I felt like a whole new person, simply because I had dared. My kids loved the new swimsuit. My older one- not my husband, said I looked like a girl (which to a 37 year old is music to the ears), and my younger one said I looked like nice colours.

And so the next time he wanted me in the pool, he said- Please put on your pink eyebrows and jump in! And I did!!!

Age 'Eyeing' Me!

So went to the eye doctor today.
Had blurred vision since a couple of months and had postponed this appointment a couple of times already. And I promise if A had not literally pushed me out, I would've cancelled for sure.
After a long wait at the doctor's, and a funny explanation of the reason of my visit- I sounded like a hypochondriac to my own ears; turns out my muscles are tired tired tired. All this because of blogging in the dark- not because this is highly sensitive stuff and needs to be protected from probing eyes.
Au contraire, it is for the sake of the probing eyes, that I have to write when putting my kids to bed, with the lights off.
Well, I hate blurred vision but at least it's not leading up to wearing glasses.

Boiling Potatoes!

Ok...I know that sounds really inane. But I promise there's just a little teeny weeny twist.

Did you know that when you want to boil potatoes in a pressure cooker or a pan of boiling water, you can do so in a microwave (if you have one at your disposal that is)!
I discovered this in Phuket while staying with friends. The breakfast menu was potato paranthas and when I tried to find a pot to boil the potatoes in, F- our friend produced already boiled potatoes. She explained how she always uses the microwave to do the needful. It sounded great to me- after all it does save a lot of mess and time.
All you need to do is to microwave them on high for 3-4 minutes depending on the size of the vegetable.

After returning from Thailand, I have gradually discovered that not a lot of people know about this. Why? Maybe we just never tried, the idea just didn't strike. Maybe we didn't read the right kind of cook books- the microwave variety!

Whatever the reason, I thought it would be a good idea to share this- after all I can't be the only un enlightened 'cooker' (as my son calls me) around! 

Sugar Sugar and Other Gifts!!!

Yummmmmm...Bettina you always get it right!

Ralf came visiting yesterday and bearing loads of goodies for all of us...

We spent a really enjoyable evening catching up and now I share the things I can over this public portal. As usual B sent lots of cheese- the one with the picture of the goat above. It's a type of German goat's cheese that A and I adore. It is mild and fresh tasting and not at all like some of the other heavier stuff around.

But a really interesting thing- and the other pack in the above pic is boat shaped sugars! As it says on the pack- Swimming, Sinking and Sweet or something like it.

I always head to the biggest or the best supermarket whenever we travel. Not just to buy, but to feast my senses on the sheer variety of foodstuff available to all. Things like this pack of sugars- I follow a non sugar diet by the way, and many many more things that I can only dream of here in New Delhi.
Why should we not be treated to this splendour?

When we come back from a trip, my suitcase invariably is stuffed with ingredients and cooking equipment of all kinds.

I don't think, we are going to have big treats like 20 types of cheeses or 7 varieties of sugars, or dried porcini mushrooms and the other 6 kinds as well anytime soon. I don't even want to get into the whys of it...for the moment just wait with baited breath as the next set of kitchen goodies arrive! 

Mushroom Do Pyaaza

Not the best in food photography...but then I took this from my phone!!!

So this morning I was wondering what to make for A's lunch the following day. Spotted the pack of mushrooms in the fridge and decided to go with mushrooms cooked with crunchy onions and tomatoes.
Now I don't really know why any do pyaaza dish is so called. I don't really buy the explainations on some of the websites- that it gets its name because of the quantity of onions used is twice the quantity of mushrooms. How would that pan out? I mean,  it really wouldn't be very savory- 500 gms of mushrooms with a kilo of onions!
No, it doesn't ring very plausible...and if I find the origins of this dish, I sure will share them with you.
In the mean while, here's what it minimally takes to make this dish. To each his own- feel free to tweak flavors as you please.

Button Mushrooms with Crunchy Onions in Tomato Gravy


You need at the very minimum:

a pack of mushrooms- 200/250 gms
two onions
a single green chilly
two tomatoes
one clove garlic (optional)

salt to taste
a pinch of garam masala

And that's about it!

You need to slice mushrooms thick or thin according to preference (after wiping them with a damp cloth- but wash them if running short on time)

Also need to slice the onions very thin, chop the tomatoes into 8 (4 quarters and their halves), if using the garlic then mince it fine and slit the green chilly into two.

Heat some oil ( a tablespoon of your regular vegetable oil will do) in a thick bottomed pan and let the onions sizzle till they brown a bit.
This is the time to put in the garlic if using- stir it together for about 20 seconds.
Time to add the tomatoes- be careful to not make them all squishy. It's great to bite into them when they are chunky.

Let it all mix together nicely for about a minute.
Add the slit chilly and let the piquant flavor rise a bit.
Time to add the mushrooms- don't add any water as the mushrooms will shed some.

Cook on a relatively high flame or else the mushrooms will lose their crunchiness.
30 seconds on the fire, put in the salt and the garam masala (my mother hates it when I put the masala while cooking- for her it's always added at the end)
30 more seconds and you are good to eat this delish dish with anything you care to eat it with- rice or bread or chapati.
Take your pick and enjoy!

Spaghetti Kitchen- Soooo Disappointing!

Had to go to the mall the other day for urgent watch repairs and a pending dentist appointment- this one I will come to later; and was forced to go looking for food in a mall I find truly lacking as far as decent food is concerned- the Select City Walk in Saket. The food court here is dismal and truly non inspiring and the only other place I could think of taking my two little boys was the relatively new cafe avatar of the otherwise 'fine dining' restaurant the Spaghetti Kitchen.

We ordered french fries, mac and cheese with asparagus and corn for the kids and an espresso for me.
The french fries were really nice, coated with a garlicky, well-coating and the helping wasn't bad at all.
It bode well for the rest of the order.
It shouldn't have.
The mac and cheese, when it came, had the bigger penne pasta not macaroni, and not ONE sliver of the asparagus. It did have two slices of a raw baby corn and one floret of broccoli divided to look like many- ha ha...ha

I was tired and really not in the mood to argue, just wanted my kids fed and leave; but the little voice inside which always calls a spade a spade- this time called the waiter and asked for an explanation. Why wasn't I surprised when he said, "But you have some baby corn!" Now I knew I should quietly get up and leave but what the hell do I do with the voice which calls to see the manager. Of course, next comes the guy with the chef's hat, "Any problems ma'am?"
"No I just want to chat with the manager or are you he?"
Next comes a guy in a suit.
"I knew it had to do something with food", that did send some bells ringing in my head- so he had frequent complaints.
The entire problem related, he said sorry and asked if he should send some extras to the table, by which time the whole exercise seemed pointless.

But I am truly and always pissed off about the quantity of these 'extras' served to us or rather withheld from us.
If a pizza claims to have olives as a topping, you can literally count by the number of parts in which two olives have been hacked to resemble a dish 'laden' with them. Mushrooms are even rarer to find in dishes; even in authentic mushroom-do-pyaazas, you would be crunching on big chunks of onions in the hope of finding the ever elusive mushroom.

It doesn't happen anywhere else in the world. Dishes have what they claim to have, and that too in abundance, unless they are the sort where serving more than a spoonful of anything is against the grain of the restaurant. Surely at the prices we are charged for sandwiches a la Subway, we deserve a little more than two pieces of jalapenos!
Even the big hotels are privy to the game, which is actually more of a shame than anything else.  For my birthday dinner, against my entreaties, my husband drags me to the nearest oriental grill at the Hyatt. I am a devout fan of mushrooms in all shapes, colours, sizes and origins. So when a dish of grilled mixed mushrooms is ordered, what we anticipate and what we get have no correlation. We get a small-ish bowl of white button mushrooms doused in tomato ketchup- at a 5 star hotel-at a leading restaurant!!!!!!

Well the thing is, including my kids, we don't really enjoy eating out all that much. And faced with hunger, frankly I would much rather give my kids the openly unhealthy McDo rather than the fancy rip offs. Which is a pity though!

By the way on my way out of the mall, I noticed the newly opened amici cafe- which would certainly have been a better choice if I discount the hair in the pizza experience!