Skype on Mac!

Tried to do a group video call with my sisters on skype. Of course it doesn't work. You have to subscribe to it like all premium content. So we spent a half hour just trying to figure it all out.

Will try and download faetime and do it all over again.

BTW A is talking....

Travel Plans

Oh this I have to share. It could make you laugh.

So even before K's summer holidays started, I wanted to already fix on where we were taking off for a holiday. After all, we now have a school going progeny and we have to plan for when the school is off!

I thought of going to D's...too far away...the thought of traveling with two kids all by myself was straight out of a horror flick!

I thought of renting a house in the hills for a straight couple of months...alas we never look hard enough!

Then we decided on Gethia and miraculously we landed up going as well, straight in the first or was it the second week of the summer holidays!

Even then I was hopping around on one foot saying let's plan, let's plan now!
We couldn't decide on a destination.

We thought of Singapore. A wrote to everyone meaning hotels, got tickets booked and then I decreed that it was all too expensive. Gracefully, A accepted.
I think deep within my heart, I wanted to go visit my sister, just couldn't say it. So I started A's visa process as well and in due time got it.

In the mean time, we thought of and in detail planned for a southern Indian sojourn from Bangalore to Coorg to Coimbatore. We booked hotels and planned activities for the kiddos, spoke to car hire agencies- the works! It just didn't seem right. We even threw in a good three days planning for Chikmaglur for good measure.

We also travelled to Kovalam, Goa, Srinagar and Chennai going on to Mahabalipuram. We had travelled the length of the country so far and were no nearer to finding our destination than two months ago!

So we thought this time, the heart's set on foreign lands. Let's see. How about Colombo?
A really wanted to go to Maldives and went on and got the tickets booked and the hotel too...a lovely place on the sea. The expenditure seems immense.

Back to square one and no closer, we suddenly chance upon Bangkok (as if we didn't know the existence of it before!) and this time everything falls into place- the apartment, the air tickets, the travel guides- everything. And it's true what they say about the place- it's cheap but good!
And then just before we give our documents for visas in, I try to see if there are any travel advisories- there weren't really. But I did get to know that Thailand was hosting it's general elections the day after we were leaving. Now considering the violence which plagued the country in the very recent past, A put his foot down and cancelled all bookings. So we swallowed the bitter cancellation charges of the airline.

Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. The summer vacations are nearly over and we were not going anywhere.

Till the time I discovered something that got us going again.

I will tell you when I get back...

Search...and a lot of non sense

Well this is not a soulful post. This post is about literal Internet issues- search.

Okay...simplifying for the lay people reading me, I check on stats sometimes- OK....ALL THE TIME....OKKKK....EVERY SINGLE TIME I LOG IN...can we move on please.
So as I checked the stats, I have also recently started checking the various sources by which gullible people land up on my blog.

My God...this post just goes on and on...

So why ever would a teeth whitening webbie direct their clients to my blog? My teeth are not pearly white by a long shot, I have many fillings, a couple of root canals- unless...unless they want to divert attention from how horrid it could be for people by directing them to my website?
Actually I got it all wrong, while someone was searching for this much talked about (at least in my blog) dental website, the search engine threw up this blog as a result. Wow...someone out there truly loves me.

Which is why mine is not to question why...just enjoy the increased traffic!

Dysfunctional Families

Do we all belong to them?

Well I don't know about all, but my husband and now by default I too, am part of one. A big one. How the hell did I land in this mess....yes I know the answer is quite simple- I got married.

Maybe I have already harped about my special situation once too many. Maybe it just doesn't interest anyone, why would it?
But if the Bold and the Beautiful can still be on- can you believe it, then I am totally allowed to go on and on about the miserable family I am a part of albeit by default.

Actually forget it. I will keep this inside me till Ekta Kapoor or some other maker of soap operas begs me for an 'original' script :-)

O TODAY :-)

ADELE is good

One of the few contemporary artists I really like in  a world full of Rihannas and the like! Don't get me wrong, she's got a nice voice, Rihanna but I just can't stand her work.
My personal opinion- you just don't have to agree.

The Working Jobless...

Housewife/Femme de foyer/Mothers- some with lots of help, some without any.

So you know which category I fall which is what prompts such posts.

But now I am actually fatigued  or as they say creuvee in french; and I must be if I am thinking in the language.

Thankless jobs- lots of you have them- doctors, teachers, guards, waiters, airline crew; it's a pretty big list anyway. You still get a day off, if not the whole weekend and a month's paid leave. You also just might have some rights, just might!

Not with mothers like me. And by the evening you are so brain dead that the idea of having ANY conversation seems like a herculean task and pointless besides. I guess I could count myself a bit lucky with a partner who pitches in more than he can and does not crib about it. If I have given up active life, the best years of my youth to the pursuit of bringing up children, then he has given up his passions as well. He has completely stopped even trying to play tennis, a sport he's bonkers about or trekking or even just vegging in front of the tele. And I thank him for it.

But when the kids grow up and no longer need me all the time, and when it's a bit late in my head along with a lot of tiredness in my body to start everything all over again profession wise, where will I be.
I will be at a complete loss to even know what to do.
I hate my body already- too much baby fat everywhere coupled with the last blast of air (literally!) from the gall bladder surgery. When do I take charge of it again? When I see this amazing partner of mine just looking at fitter women my age and just simply remarking how admirably fit so and so person is at their age? What will I feel except bitterness?  And what will I say, that I was bringing up your kids so I didn't even have the time to take 5 minutes in the loo let alone follow a fitness regime?

Come on, I know I am being pessimistic here. For all I know all this may never come to pass. I hope my kids pretend to need me even when they don't. I hope I find something that gives more meaning to my life than just being obsessed about food and feeding times and snacks.

I hope...I do.

THERE ARE KIND PEOPLE

I just had to say it, because I met or encountered kindness today.

The first was this gentleman we've known for the last decade- he gave me very kind words. With most others, I take them with a huge pinch of salt; with him the words were right and they were the right words. Not like what I normally get to hear from most of my well-meaning-couldn't-really-care-more friends/acquaintances. I mean, come on, I am not calling every single human being I know mean or selfish, I just don't think people care...enough. And even though the love ballad by Extreme is one of my all time favs, still something about words!

The second was this blind gentleman who makes his living by selling dusters etc in Khan Market- he gave me kind words too! He said he found me kind and even though he couldn't see- he could see me! I don't have anything to say that.

And the third was this 7 month pregnant woman who I didn't know till last week. She came to my house for a pedicure- yeah yeah too lazy and I promise I didn't know she was preggers! Anyhow, I cancelled on her yesterday so she called me back today offering to come and help knowing, as she said, I have no maid! Wow- that would mean juggling her work and she's pregnant!!

Basically it means I like people being nice to me. Who doesn't?
Basically it also means there aren't too many people who are being nice to me. Maybe there aren't too many people being nice to anyone! A bit loser like to say that- but hell, if it takes three relative strangers to bring tears to my eyes and re-realise that kindness does exist, then so be it!

All Izz 'Not' Well!

The title of this post is totally lost on non Indians or non followers of Bollywood or those who didn't see Amir Khan's 3 Idiots!

Just a very roundabout way of saying we are, all of us, very ill! What are the chances of that happening? Not many...but it's true and high fevers, bacterial, viral infections, antibiotics rule the roost.

Waiting for it to finfish off...as my older one says!
And just to make it easier for me, went and bought tons of baubles (translation TWO SILVER RINGS...WOW...Blue Nile..wait a bit!)

ILL AGAIN!

Feel so ill...hate this feeling of not being in control and to top it all...the idiot of a driver ditched on us at the last instant!

Worried...

How could I not be?
When is the big change happening? Where do we move from here?
Everything that we would like to have is super expensive and everything that is available is out of reach.

How do you step down....way way down?
Now I know a bit of how the 'mighty' feel in 'how the mighty have fallen'...not that I lay any claims what so ever in being mighty etc, but...

Having stayed in this little piece of heaven right in the middle of Delhi, with the lowest crime rate, with parks so green, with children's areas so well looked after, where when we go to the terrace we get a great view of the Lodhi Gardens....how do you move from here?
I know it's the sweet sweet lure of liberte...where one definitely prefers one's own heaven even if it's in the middle of shit to living in shit in the heavenly surroundings!

If it doesn't make sense to you, don't fret...if ever you find yourself in a similar situation, you will know!

Left Out

So what do you do when you feel left out?

It could be at 5- my older boy complains sometimes of being left out at school.
It could be at 35- like this evening at a friend's daughter's birthday party. Admittedly it doesn't happen as frequently at our age, apart from my own house, but then we are dysfunctional!

After writing this whole post, the internet connection somehow got disconnected and now I have to sit and write the whole thing again. Which I don't particularly want to.
Summary:

We are sitting out with this friend's husband having an interesting conversation.
Husband- hers, gets pointedly called in to join a small group. Pointedly, because we are pointedly left out. If it had been K, I would have tons of spiel to spin to him: join the fun/ do not complain, blah, blah!
But somehow this rule did not seem too applicable to our situation.
Of course it didn't help that the hostess seemed quite impervious to the whole thing. She was a part of this small intimate inside group. So you know when you are not wanted.
What do you do?

You say your goodbyes as gracefully as is possible without hurting your cheekbones (from too much smiling) and know that you can't possibly let yourself be in a similar situation with the same people.
One off your list.

It's Good to be OLD!

Yes, it does feel that more and more.
The power of growing old. The knowledge that comes with the 'advanced years' and the confidence.

I had gone for a meeting this evening. I met a young young girl. She was as old as I was when I actually got married. But her age was oh so evident and maybe mine was as well. I certainly was not jittery- AT ALL. And as I looked at the girl, I realized it felt good to be as old as I am.

Maybe I won't feel the same when I am in the swimming pool with a bunch of 20 somethings with their firm corps and compare them to my sagging bits and wish for the pre-two-kid-body, which by the way is totally achievable and possible even to better it!
But at the same time, I also know it won't really matter- my sagging belly, because it doesn't really matter. Body hair (gross! I know) doesn't really matter. How do I care if someone finds my moustache offensive, or the little hair on my legs when I wear a skirt. If you don't like it, look the other way mister, coz I do not care.

And I can say that now that I am on the right side of 30.
But come to think of it, I always was!

Gethia.

Just ran away for the weekend. To a place called Gethia. I had heard the name 12 years ago.
Was pleasantly surprised to know they were the same. Owned by the same people. It was a beautiful house. Every thing had been thought of. The children were happy. Anuj was too.

The lawn was great, so was the pool. The food was brilliant, the people as well.

The bathrooms were huge.

Wow

Runaway

Well going through the crap as we are and such pressure, we try and run away as frequently as possible. Even when I try and explain my situation to people, I am sure not many even get half of what they are hearing. It's just not possible- such dysfunctionality. It is possible as a third party occurrence- we read about such people and such families in the newspapers; Ekta Kapoor makes television serials based on them- By the way I am never again questioning the authenticity of the seemingly inane and impossible plots. But they do not happen to your friends and acquaintances. The number of times I've had to hear 'Are you kidding me? is irritating.
No I am not kidding. Would anyone be able to make up stories like these? Why would they? Would they be such a brand of losers that they would want to show themselves in such poor light. Pathetic.

And maybe I or my situation appears so for others as well, but should not be the case with my friends?

Anyway, I had initially started this post off as a post about my weekend. But that will be another untainted by this sh#!$@y house talk.

I just don't wish the situation I am in or even half this bad on anyone who's ever wished me well.