BIRTHDAY PARTIES-2

I wrote once before about the kiddie birthday parties I had been attending. Time to talk just a little bit more about the same.
For the past couple of months, all our weekends have been devoted to attending birthday parties of K's school friends, sometimes twice in one evening. The whole class is invited. There is a big bouncy. The venues are big- mostly farmhouse residences, and in many cases the return gifts seem to cost more money than the gifts I have given out.

It is a bit scary.

We do  not believe in such. Kiddie parties should be just that- and not a show of wealth. But I guess that really can't be controlled. The kids are happy with a bouncy- it could be in the middle of a park, and cake and yes, you just can't do without it- popcorn! I admit that now before you make your child say goodbye and thank you, the inevitable question of a return gift does pop up, but that is easily taken care of.
And that leaves me with rich parents wanting to spend the most, do the best, have the biggest parties. I was recently at one where the only drink on offer was champagne :-)
Is it just a question of the school your child is going to- I think not.
And the next one, if this is the scale of  a 5 year old's birthday, what will the scale of their weddings be? Luckily that bridge is quite some distance off, not done away with, just to be tackled later.

It then becomes even more important to teach the little ones, value of friendships and all the things money can't buy; 'even though there's mastercard for them'!!!

How did my parents do it? I can only hope and pray we do even half the great job they did.

Axis Bank or Axe the Clients Bank?

I do realize I am just not happy with the title of this blog.
Just because the manager of the branch I have been banking with for the last decade or more behaved like a complete idiot and showed no respect for the customer, should've kind of made me think of something more appropriate like, 'axis: bank with morons, why don't you?' ....don't know- just not happy.

Well that was an understatement when I was so rudely treated by the supercilious and extremely full of himself bank manager on being presented by the simplest of requests, ' Is it possible to have a one point contact with the bank?' It was as if I had asked him to surrender his salary to me! 'Do you have a priority account?' Hello?? Which age are you living in and which age group do you belong to?
We were given a priority account by an amazing account executive who went out of her way to keep the customer happy.
And to this the dumb idiot replied, 'She did what she shouldn't have, no one does it and will not either!'

My my such strong words- it almost made her sound as she was bestowing unnatural favours rather than retaining clients for the bank she WORKS for and actually doing the job she was being paid to do. He twisted my words out of proportion, making 'transactions' sound like a dirty word and told me in no uncertain terms that 'no one would do it'!
Do what? Make a demand draft by debiting money from my account on a cheque I had signed?
Sending a runner home with some papers which needed signing as I had a four month old baby?
Making sure that the credit card guy or the investment guy actually met me?
Sending a fresh cheque book?

Unfortunately it's idiots like this manager who will cost the bank a huge amount of money. And it's even more unfortunate that they will not even get to know about it as Axis Bank does not have a way of getting feedback from their customers. Perhaps they don't need it.

I will go this weekend to close all my accounts with this place and will smirk at the con of a manger as he smirked when I asked an account executive for an account closure form.

Away in the City!!!

That's what we did yesterday for A's big day!
Pending the iPad2- just don't seem to know anyone traveling to the U.S or alternatively anyone willing to carry the same for me; it was the only sane thing I could think of giving my completely bone tired husband.

 Poor moi!

So I checked us into the Trident in Gurgaon for the day. The idea was to stay away from this depressing house and give A some much needed relaxation, especially on his birthday.
It was pretty much what I had wanted from the day- spent almost entirely in the pool. We had a leisurely breakfast after checking into our luxurious 'pool-view' room. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have been able to find any faults with the freshly brewed coffee or the brilliant omelet or the waffles or the presentation of it all!

It was strange to be in the city and yet to feel away on a holiday. I heartily recommend it to all. Just try it- play hookie from work in the middle of the work week, splurge a little on yourself, spend a day of decadence, force yourself not to think of anything at all and see the difference! It will be good.

Budget Travel

...is not budget anymore.

Yes I know these are inflationary times. I also know that prices are not the same as they used to be a decade and much more ago when A and I actually started traveling. Heck we have actually done an Amritsar-McLeodganj-Yamunanagar trip in 6000/- rupees in all, spending on petrol for our dear old Fiat Uno, stays in clean, decent albeit government hotels  and mind you they were definitely not budget backpacker options, food and a bit of shopping!

But now it seems whatever option you might choose, you have to dish out a minimum of 4000-5000 rupees. And these are not even very fancy. When did it all change? Is this what my parents and other people across ages have been repeating to themselves whenever they are confronted by astronomical price of things they just payed peanuts for?

I don't believe so. 'Traveling' in India has finally caught on, with the masses now actually indulging in all forms of it; from weekend trips to cruises to adventure to heritage. I also believe that all those charging the earth now are cashing in on the consumer psyche which wants them to indulge in a bit of luxury even when they 'believe' they can't afford the true luxe offered by the big hotel chains! Little do these poor (ha ha) susceptible people know that the deals and discounts offered by the latter far exceed in terms of value for money.
True there are those who prefer the warmth of a small home-stay to the sterility of a five star hotel. For these there are home-stays in places like Kerala charging 10,000/- and more per night!!! Shocking? You bet it is. I came across quite a few of these options when preparing for our Kerala trip last September. We poor people chose the sterility of Taj- much cheaper, much more convenient and definitely more equipped to handle random touristy demands! But then maybe I can't truly appreciate quality when I see it.

Trust me I am not trying to bring down the private enterprise. Au contraire, I am all for it. Lovely and warm people opening up their houses, their sanctum sanctorums to the sometimes crude and rude critique of people who have no respect for the fact and who demand satellite television connections in a small village somewhere in Hiamchal Pradesh, amongst other equally banal stuff.
I am all for knowing that the owner of a small place where I am staying won't treat my request for an early meal for my children (trust me NOBODY eats at 1830 in India!) as rubbish and would even offer the use of the kitchen for my idiosyncrasies- making my own dinner. It's not always possible and I understand and accept that. After all one is traveling and is trying to be open to everything.
I am all for the fact that the food in the kitchen will be fresh as there aren't too many things leftover like in big hotel kitchens.

What I just can't understand is the money I am being charged for it. I mean, I don't mind paying 3000-4000 rupees for a kickass small family run hotel, where the sheets don't make me itch for the ones I carry in the car. But someone has to sit up and realise that they are charging way too much than is justified.
I have some very beautiful places to recommend which still do not cost an arm and a leg for a weekend trip: Meghniwas in Jaipur, Carlton's in Mussourie and some more.

But the need of the hour is many more of these.
Maybe I will start the trend.

Two followers!!!

My!!!

My fortunes seem to have changed...have TWO followers...thank you for sparing the time to read me :-)

So much...

...Has happened.

Always seems to be the case.

And now it all seems to be closer to the end- which is why I am still here.
And now for loser-tragedy-queen-like-pronouncements, "if the end didn't seem near, I would be flying away, far away.

Burning within me, the images and the memory of the grievous insult inflicted on me.

And the trauma that I now internalize- forever.

And the millions of insults heaped on me- forever.

Yes- you are insulted only if you accept them- how many should I not?

Before I break down forever- a little bird inside me- dead forever.

All  for love, love for all.

I have to beat...

...the number of posts I clocked in 2010. the third month has ended already and all I have to show for this month is 4 posts!

Dear Diary,

I had a decent day today, which considering the circumstances, is good…yes I saw Notting Hill as well. In fact A and I have it marked as our fav chick-flick-for-two!

A friend read my blog and said it was more like a personal diary than a blog. I understood what she was saying then- I don’t anymore. What are blogs if not online personal diaries or extensions thereof?

In my diary I could choose to write about my really impossible than life itself in laws or about issues that touch me- I thought I did both. Maybe it’s the style of my blog- not very bloggish, but then why would this template be available to be ‘templated’?

A jr is now saying ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ clear as day and runs to the sound of the motorbike.

I love my children.

So ill again

Since monday- terrible state I have been in! And if I don't whine on my own blog then where the hell will I? BAD BAD BAD!
Could not breathe...it is the scariest thing in the whole wide world- not to be able to breathe. My nose and its insides were jammed as if there were mobile jammers around someone bloody important- just no go!
It has taken me two whole days to get down to being plain ill. The doctor said he was at quite a loss to see my condition- wow I really am going on and on about my blocked nasal passages. Don't encourage me people or you won't know where it ends!

Tender Hooks

Just finished reading this sequel to 'Diary of a Social Butterfly' by Moni Mohsin, simply 'crack'. Don't really know anyone who speaks like the butterfly with a bottega, or don't I?
Well the book is nicely written in the style of its prequel with the language full of direct hindi-english or is it punjabi-english translation and deliberate mis pronunciations. It is a full on take on what one assumes is the pakistani social scene. But I am pretty sure the parallels exist in all societies from here to Timbuktu and from there to the first world and back! The society ladies all decked up in their newest fashion acquisitions with the must haves and the must dos and all that goes along with it. The fixing of marriages and the planning of parties, the 'show offers' and the not so 'effluents'.
It is funny and I read it in two days flat. Of course the fact that I was laid up in bed and had some hours to myself did help a lot, but the book is quite entertaining in a society gossip column kind of a way.
Totally recommend it- not for die hard fans of Stephen Hawking or Ayn Rand  though.

Don't Know Why...

I know why…

I am with Anuj.

I know now why I do all that I do for him.

I know why I suffer his parents and his gossipy back stabbing brother.

I know why I didn’t run away when his parents started acting so weird with me.

It’s because he loves me just the way I love him.

He loves me- it has finally dawned on me. Become clear like night and day; like clear night and day!!!!

After 17 years of being together, I finally know why he’s with me. He loves me.

"You Do Nothing!!!!"

More  punctuation marks.
Yesterday in school, I spotted my boy on his way to empty put his lunch tray. Eager to know what it was and how much of it had gone down, I'd called out to him and the naughty boy had run and emptied his tray before I could reach him.

Later on, on the way back home, when I asked him the reason for doing so, the reply was ready," I'd already showed it to my teachers!"
"And why can't I see it as well?", said I just a little bit hurt.
"Because they teach me, while you just sit at home!" Ouch. That hurt. Big time.
Retrial,"But I have taught you all these years, and I still do", voice quivering just a teeny bit more.
And the confidant reply,"You do nothing except sit at home and shout at my father!!!"
Ouch. OWWWWWWW.

I know better than to believe what a defensive 5 year old has to say much less sit and cry tears over it. But it did get me thinking, again.
Not about the fact that K thinks I shout at his dad, though I have told A not to argue in front of K: he doesn't get half of it/ he thinks we are having a fight/ he thinks the worse of me as I AM the one who's louder while A is the one who's unendingly argumentative!

No, I started thinking about the fact that it's great for children to have an 'at-home' mother. But after a bit, when they are just beginning to get independent, it's great to get working.
Easier said than done.
Many women give up their jobs and careers to bring up their children well. Most have careers they can't really get back to; many can't having gotten out of the professional mind frame. Others find themselves out of depth with younger and or more technologically competent people taking up their place.
So difficult to get your place back....doubly so to prove yourself all over again and more and more each day as you balance professional and personal lives.
And what about those poor souls who never ever worked and are suddenly faced by this dilemma. Will their children respect them more if they had outside approval in the form of paid employment?

I just had one thing to say to my 5 year old.
"Maybe I should just get you a maid and go back to working as I did BEFORE you were born?"
The instant and vehement,"NOOOOO" warmed my tired and cold heart just a little bit.

So tired...oof!

To say that at 7 in the morning, really sounds funny. But I feel as if I have been working all night and all of yesterday and it's so annoying to feel this way as well. Sure doesn't bode very well for my day...grit my teeth and get on with it!

Sex and the City

I have it all- not really disclosing in public the details of my private life, simply feeling smug about the fact that I have the entire collection of Sex and the City- all the seasons and the first film. The second movie was of course like a paid commercial for Abu Dhabi and completely forced. But I guess they had to show Carrie and Big getting really together- finally and without reservations.

It is a fabulously open series, probably the first of its kind. It talked about, well yes- sex- the big taboo without making it look porno. There was a take on all kinds of issues that touch us- yes even us in this third world country, through the New York girl's column. The writer or the team did an amazing job and I sincerely hope they are all earning big money and even bigger accolades. The fornication-obsessed-foursome was a breath of very very fresh air, telling the world in no sugar coated words about women's needs and the needs of women. That it was probably inspired by men- just regular men, doesn't take away at all from it's originality.
That fashion crazy women can also be intelligent, I guess a first. That even the best of friends can fight, that in a group there are pairs closer than others- brilliant.

Why am I talking about it? Laid up in bed, nothing to do- dug out an old dvd and was thoroughly entertained. Try it and remember to keep an open mind.

Secrecy

"Secrecy is strength. It is the power of the paranoid. It is the religion of closed societies where the ruler is sustained by the lies of the state."


I love these lines from an article I read on Yahoo today (http://in.news.yahoo.com/secret-societies-2010-.html ) . Beautifully put- reflects and explains exactly why my in laws behave the way they always have and why they will never win any one's confidence and their trust.