My!!!
My fortunes seem to have changed...have TWO followers...thank you for sparing the time to read me :-)
My fortunes seem to have changed...have TWO followers...thank you for sparing the time to read me :-)
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
So much...
...Has happened.
Always seems to be the case.
And now it all seems to be closer to the end- which is why I am still here.
And now for loser-tragedy-queen-like-pronouncements, "if the end didn't seem near, I would be flying away, far away.
Burning within me, the images and the memory of the grievous insult inflicted on me.
And the trauma that I now internalize- forever.
And the millions of insults heaped on me- forever.
Yes- you are insulted only if you accept them- how many should I not?
Before I break down forever- a little bird inside me- dead forever.
All for love, love for all.
Always seems to be the case.
And now it all seems to be closer to the end- which is why I am still here.
And now for loser-tragedy-queen-like-pronouncements, "if the end didn't seem near, I would be flying away, far away.
Burning within me, the images and the memory of the grievous insult inflicted on me.
And the trauma that I now internalize- forever.
And the millions of insults heaped on me- forever.
Yes- you are insulted only if you accept them- how many should I not?
Before I break down forever- a little bird inside me- dead forever.
All for love, love for all.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I have to beat...
...the number of posts I clocked in 2010. the third month has ended already and all I have to show for this month is 4 posts!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Dear Diary,
I had a decent day today, which considering the circumstances, is good…yes I saw Notting Hill as well. In fact A and I have it marked as our fav chick-flick-for-two!
A friend read my blog and said it was more like a personal diary than a blog. I understood what she was saying then- I don’t anymore. What are blogs if not online personal diaries or extensions thereof?
In my diary I could choose to write about my really impossible than life itself in laws or about issues that touch me- I thought I did both. Maybe it’s the style of my blog- not very bloggish, but then why would this template be available to be ‘templated’?
A jr is now saying ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ clear as day and runs to the sound of the motorbike.
I love my children.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
So ill again
Since monday- terrible state I have been in! And if I don't whine on my own blog then where the hell will I? BAD BAD BAD!
Could not breathe...it is the scariest thing in the whole wide world- not to be able to breathe. My nose and its insides were jammed as if there were mobile jammers around someone bloody important- just no go!
It has taken me two whole days to get down to being plain ill. The doctor said he was at quite a loss to see my condition- wow I really am going on and on about my blocked nasal passages. Don't encourage me people or you won't know where it ends!
Could not breathe...it is the scariest thing in the whole wide world- not to be able to breathe. My nose and its insides were jammed as if there were mobile jammers around someone bloody important- just no go!
It has taken me two whole days to get down to being plain ill. The doctor said he was at quite a loss to see my condition- wow I really am going on and on about my blocked nasal passages. Don't encourage me people or you won't know where it ends!
Tender Hooks
Just finished reading this sequel to 'Diary of a Social Butterfly' by Moni Mohsin, simply 'crack'. Don't really know anyone who speaks like the butterfly with a bottega, or don't I?
Well the book is nicely written in the style of its prequel with the language full of direct hindi-english or is it punjabi-english translation and deliberate mis pronunciations. It is a full on take on what one assumes is the pakistani social scene. But I am pretty sure the parallels exist in all societies from here to Timbuktu and from there to the first world and back! The society ladies all decked up in their newest fashion acquisitions with the must haves and the must dos and all that goes along with it. The fixing of marriages and the planning of parties, the 'show offers' and the not so 'effluents'.
It is funny and I read it in two days flat. Of course the fact that I was laid up in bed and had some hours to myself did help a lot, but the book is quite entertaining in a society gossip column kind of a way.
Totally recommend it- not for die hard fans of Stephen Hawking or Ayn Rand though.
Well the book is nicely written in the style of its prequel with the language full of direct hindi-english or is it punjabi-english translation and deliberate mis pronunciations. It is a full on take on what one assumes is the pakistani social scene. But I am pretty sure the parallels exist in all societies from here to Timbuktu and from there to the first world and back! The society ladies all decked up in their newest fashion acquisitions with the must haves and the must dos and all that goes along with it. The fixing of marriages and the planning of parties, the 'show offers' and the not so 'effluents'.
It is funny and I read it in two days flat. Of course the fact that I was laid up in bed and had some hours to myself did help a lot, but the book is quite entertaining in a society gossip column kind of a way.
Totally recommend it- not for die hard fans of Stephen Hawking or Ayn Rand though.
Don't Know Why...
I know why…
I am with Anuj.
I know now why I do all that I do for him.
I know why I suffer his parents and his gossipy back stabbing brother.
I know why I didn’t run away when his parents started acting so weird with me.
It’s because he loves me just the way I love him.
He loves me- it has finally dawned on me. Become clear like night and day; like clear night and day!!!!
After 17 years of being together, I finally know why he’s with me. He loves me.
Friday, February 25, 2011
"You Do Nothing!!!!"
More punctuation marks.
Yesterday in school, I spotted my boy on his way to empty put his lunch tray. Eager to know what it was and how much of it had gone down, I'd called out to him and the naughty boy had run and emptied his tray before I could reach him.
Later on, on the way back home, when I asked him the reason for doing so, the reply was ready," I'd already showed it to my teachers!"
"And why can't I see it as well?", said I just a little bit hurt.
"Because they teach me, while you just sit at home!" Ouch. That hurt. Big time.
Retrial,"But I have taught you all these years, and I still do", voice quivering just a teeny bit more.
And the confidant reply,"You do nothing except sit at home and shout at my father!!!"
Ouch. OWWWWWWW.
I know better than to believe what a defensive 5 year old has to say much less sit and cry tears over it. But it did get me thinking, again.
Not about the fact that K thinks I shout at his dad, though I have told A not to argue in front of K: he doesn't get half of it/ he thinks we are having a fight/ he thinks the worse of me as I AM the one who's louder while A is the one who's unendingly argumentative!
No, I started thinking about the fact that it's great for children to have an 'at-home' mother. But after a bit, when they are just beginning to get independent, it's great to get working.
Easier said than done.
Many women give up their jobs and careers to bring up their children well. Most have careers they can't really get back to; many can't having gotten out of the professional mind frame. Others find themselves out of depth with younger and or more technologically competent people taking up their place.
So difficult to get your place back....doubly so to prove yourself all over again and more and more each day as you balance professional and personal lives.
And what about those poor souls who never ever worked and are suddenly faced by this dilemma. Will their children respect them more if they had outside approval in the form of paid employment?
I just had one thing to say to my 5 year old.
"Maybe I should just get you a maid and go back to working as I did BEFORE you were born?"
The instant and vehement,"NOOOOO" warmed my tired and cold heart just a little bit.
Yesterday in school, I spotted my boy on his way to empty put his lunch tray. Eager to know what it was and how much of it had gone down, I'd called out to him and the naughty boy had run and emptied his tray before I could reach him.
Later on, on the way back home, when I asked him the reason for doing so, the reply was ready," I'd already showed it to my teachers!"
"And why can't I see it as well?", said I just a little bit hurt.
"Because they teach me, while you just sit at home!" Ouch. That hurt. Big time.
Retrial,"But I have taught you all these years, and I still do", voice quivering just a teeny bit more.
And the confidant reply,"You do nothing except sit at home and shout at my father!!!"
Ouch. OWWWWWWW.
I know better than to believe what a defensive 5 year old has to say much less sit and cry tears over it. But it did get me thinking, again.
Not about the fact that K thinks I shout at his dad, though I have told A not to argue in front of K: he doesn't get half of it/ he thinks we are having a fight/ he thinks the worse of me as I AM the one who's louder while A is the one who's unendingly argumentative!
No, I started thinking about the fact that it's great for children to have an 'at-home' mother. But after a bit, when they are just beginning to get independent, it's great to get working.
Easier said than done.
Many women give up their jobs and careers to bring up their children well. Most have careers they can't really get back to; many can't having gotten out of the professional mind frame. Others find themselves out of depth with younger and or more technologically competent people taking up their place.
So difficult to get your place back....doubly so to prove yourself all over again and more and more each day as you balance professional and personal lives.
And what about those poor souls who never ever worked and are suddenly faced by this dilemma. Will their children respect them more if they had outside approval in the form of paid employment?
I just had one thing to say to my 5 year old.
"Maybe I should just get you a maid and go back to working as I did BEFORE you were born?"
The instant and vehement,"NOOOOO" warmed my tired and cold heart just a little bit.
Monday, February 21, 2011
So tired...oof!
To say that at 7 in the morning, really sounds funny. But I feel as if I have been working all night and all of yesterday and it's so annoying to feel this way as well. Sure doesn't bode very well for my day...grit my teeth and get on with it!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Sex and the City
I have it all- not really disclosing in public the details of my private life, simply feeling smug about the fact that I have the entire collection of Sex and the City- all the seasons and the first film. The second movie was of course like a paid commercial for Abu Dhabi and completely forced. But I guess they had to show Carrie and Big getting really together- finally and without reservations.
It is a fabulously open series, probably the first of its kind. It talked about, well yes- sex- the big taboo without making it look porno. There was a take on all kinds of issues that touch us- yes even us in this third world country, through the New York girl's column. The writer or the team did an amazing job and I sincerely hope they are all earning big money and even bigger accolades. The fornication-obsessed-foursome was a breath of very very fresh air, telling the world in no sugar coated words about women's needs and the needs of women. That it was probably inspired by men- just regular men, doesn't take away at all from it's originality.
That fashion crazy women can also be intelligent, I guess a first. That even the best of friends can fight, that in a group there are pairs closer than others- brilliant.
Why am I talking about it? Laid up in bed, nothing to do- dug out an old dvd and was thoroughly entertained. Try it and remember to keep an open mind.
It is a fabulously open series, probably the first of its kind. It talked about, well yes- sex- the big taboo without making it look porno. There was a take on all kinds of issues that touch us- yes even us in this third world country, through the New York girl's column. The writer or the team did an amazing job and I sincerely hope they are all earning big money and even bigger accolades. The fornication-obsessed-foursome was a breath of very very fresh air, telling the world in no sugar coated words about women's needs and the needs of women. That it was probably inspired by men- just regular men, doesn't take away at all from it's originality.
That fashion crazy women can also be intelligent, I guess a first. That even the best of friends can fight, that in a group there are pairs closer than others- brilliant.
Why am I talking about it? Laid up in bed, nothing to do- dug out an old dvd and was thoroughly entertained. Try it and remember to keep an open mind.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Secrecy
"Secrecy is strength. It is the power of the paranoid. It is the religion of closed societies where the ruler is sustained by the lies of the state."
I love these lines from an article I read on Yahoo today (http://in.news.yahoo.com/secret-societies-2010-.html ) . Beautifully put- reflects and explains exactly why my in laws behave the way they always have and why they will never win any one's confidence and their trust.
I love these lines from an article I read on Yahoo today (http://in.news.yahoo.com/secret-societies-2010-.html ) . Beautifully put- reflects and explains exactly why my in laws behave the way they always have and why they will never win any one's confidence and their trust.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Sham
From the OST of Aisha, this song is so amazing. Sung by Nikhil D'Souza and Amit Trivedi, back up vocals by Neuman Pinto, it is a gem of a song, which I must've heard many times before I accidentally heard it on my ipod while cooking. And I was totally wowed! Doesn't sound like something out of an Indian movie with regular song and dance routines.
With practically no instrumentation to hide the flaws in the voice, it is a fabulously soothing number.
Try it. You will fall for it!
With practically no instrumentation to hide the flaws in the voice, it is a fabulously soothing number.
Try it. You will fall for it!
"FUCTUATION"!!! ?
Yes, so many punctuation marks. I do think this particular word requires it!
A brief history into the coining of this word.
I have been unwell these past days. Husband urges me to go for tea to friends house. I go. I am having lovely jasmine tea. Friend's husband walks in. Friend's husband asks about health- not surprising as I am looking particularly crappy. We discuss our respective crappy health issues. I blame 'fluctuations' in weather. He hears 'fuctuations'.
I lay claim to the word.
But what a word! Wow...can very easily be used to explain anything and everything from an over obsessed suitor (ha!) to ups and downs in the stock markets to moods and their swinging times to emotions.
I truly am a genius and some day some wise guy or girl (I doubt it though...the girl bit...having worked with many girls in many different places, I know one thing for sure- girls don't want other girls to be declared more intelligent especially on their watch)- so excuse me girls, I am rooting for a wise guy- literally speaking to wake up and realize the potential of my intelligence! Hello? anyone???
Someday soon!
A brief history into the coining of this word.
I have been unwell these past days. Husband urges me to go for tea to friends house. I go. I am having lovely jasmine tea. Friend's husband walks in. Friend's husband asks about health- not surprising as I am looking particularly crappy. We discuss our respective crappy health issues. I blame 'fluctuations' in weather. He hears 'fuctuations'.
I lay claim to the word.
But what a word! Wow...can very easily be used to explain anything and everything from an over obsessed suitor (ha!) to ups and downs in the stock markets to moods and their swinging times to emotions.
I truly am a genius and some day some wise guy or girl (I doubt it though...the girl bit...having worked with many girls in many different places, I know one thing for sure- girls don't want other girls to be declared more intelligent especially on their watch)- so excuse me girls, I am rooting for a wise guy- literally speaking to wake up and realize the potential of my intelligence! Hello? anyone???
Someday soon!
Blog post anyone?
And to think…
That I would be blogging every single day, writing something or the other about my life boring or otherwise…
I haven’t written a single word in almost a month, more than a month? Why? Just too distressed/depressed/sad/busy playing tragedy queen that I just could not summon up enough energy to convert my wish to write into actual written words.
Who missed me?
Me!
Friday, February 4, 2011
And to think...
...that I would break my own record of writing at least one post everyday. Well it did seem more than achievable as the year started, but then deteriorated just as soon. I can easily blame it on a lot of things including and foremost among them- the crappy house situation, but finally it's me. I should've been more diligent.
Well, as K's 5th approaches, I will get much less time, but I hope to be more regular.
Well, as K's 5th approaches, I will get much less time, but I hope to be more regular.
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