Maybe I really need to get out of my house to really write.
Maybe I need to be in a beer cafe at 6 p.m.on a weekday, waiting for a meeting to really know I have a life.
Maybe I really need to get a life.
The past few years have gone by in a whirlwind of moving countries, having children, moving back, adjusting to in laws, having more children, being in the middle of the most terrible family crisis, getting through really troubled times, getting over these really troubled times, looking out for your children, trying to get your mental piece back, and then some semblance to a real life - school runs!
As I sit here, I wonder how I could've done it all and why the fuck am I sitting here??
Is my feeling of self worth at such a low point that I need to work to prove something to myself? Well my feeling of self worth is non existent- you've got to be kidding me if you think otherwise! I am defined by my kids and by my husband. Whenever people talk to me, I am told that I have great kids and an outstanding husband. It's true. They are. And then I am supposed to feel lucky. I do. But what about me??
I am not isolated in my misery- because miserable I sure am. I am not isolated in my misery- I have the majority of women across the world, across cultures, across classes, across social backgrounds standing somewhere, sitting somewhere asking themselves the same question right now.
So this post is not an answer, not even an attempt to. What it is, is an expression of solidarity with all these women out there. I didn't know where this post was heading when I started to write, killing time, waiting for my friend to finish her work. But I do know, even though many times I believe it to be so- I am not alone.
Maybe I need to be in a beer cafe at 6 p.m.on a weekday, waiting for a meeting to really know I have a life.
Maybe I really need to get a life.
The past few years have gone by in a whirlwind of moving countries, having children, moving back, adjusting to in laws, having more children, being in the middle of the most terrible family crisis, getting through really troubled times, getting over these really troubled times, looking out for your children, trying to get your mental piece back, and then some semblance to a real life - school runs!
As I sit here, I wonder how I could've done it all and why the fuck am I sitting here??
Is my feeling of self worth at such a low point that I need to work to prove something to myself? Well my feeling of self worth is non existent- you've got to be kidding me if you think otherwise! I am defined by my kids and by my husband. Whenever people talk to me, I am told that I have great kids and an outstanding husband. It's true. They are. And then I am supposed to feel lucky. I do. But what about me??
I am not isolated in my misery- because miserable I sure am. I am not isolated in my misery- I have the majority of women across the world, across cultures, across classes, across social backgrounds standing somewhere, sitting somewhere asking themselves the same question right now.
So this post is not an answer, not even an attempt to. What it is, is an expression of solidarity with all these women out there. I didn't know where this post was heading when I started to write, killing time, waiting for my friend to finish her work. But I do know, even though many times I believe it to be so- I am not alone.
