So much...

...Has happened.

Always seems to be the case.

And now it all seems to be closer to the end- which is why I am still here.
And now for loser-tragedy-queen-like-pronouncements, "if the end didn't seem near, I would be flying away, far away.

Burning within me, the images and the memory of the grievous insult inflicted on me.

And the trauma that I now internalize- forever.

And the millions of insults heaped on me- forever.

Yes- you are insulted only if you accept them- how many should I not?

Before I break down forever- a little bird inside me- dead forever.

All  for love, love for all.

I have to beat...

...the number of posts I clocked in 2010. the third month has ended already and all I have to show for this month is 4 posts!

Dear Diary,

I had a decent day today, which considering the circumstances, is good…yes I saw Notting Hill as well. In fact A and I have it marked as our fav chick-flick-for-two!

A friend read my blog and said it was more like a personal diary than a blog. I understood what she was saying then- I don’t anymore. What are blogs if not online personal diaries or extensions thereof?

In my diary I could choose to write about my really impossible than life itself in laws or about issues that touch me- I thought I did both. Maybe it’s the style of my blog- not very bloggish, but then why would this template be available to be ‘templated’?

A jr is now saying ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ clear as day and runs to the sound of the motorbike.

I love my children.

So ill again

Since monday- terrible state I have been in! And if I don't whine on my own blog then where the hell will I? BAD BAD BAD!
Could not breathe...it is the scariest thing in the whole wide world- not to be able to breathe. My nose and its insides were jammed as if there were mobile jammers around someone bloody important- just no go!
It has taken me two whole days to get down to being plain ill. The doctor said he was at quite a loss to see my condition- wow I really am going on and on about my blocked nasal passages. Don't encourage me people or you won't know where it ends!

Tender Hooks

Just finished reading this sequel to 'Diary of a Social Butterfly' by Moni Mohsin, simply 'crack'. Don't really know anyone who speaks like the butterfly with a bottega, or don't I?
Well the book is nicely written in the style of its prequel with the language full of direct hindi-english or is it punjabi-english translation and deliberate mis pronunciations. It is a full on take on what one assumes is the pakistani social scene. But I am pretty sure the parallels exist in all societies from here to Timbuktu and from there to the first world and back! The society ladies all decked up in their newest fashion acquisitions with the must haves and the must dos and all that goes along with it. The fixing of marriages and the planning of parties, the 'show offers' and the not so 'effluents'.
It is funny and I read it in two days flat. Of course the fact that I was laid up in bed and had some hours to myself did help a lot, but the book is quite entertaining in a society gossip column kind of a way.
Totally recommend it- not for die hard fans of Stephen Hawking or Ayn Rand  though.

Don't Know Why...

I know why…

I am with Anuj.

I know now why I do all that I do for him.

I know why I suffer his parents and his gossipy back stabbing brother.

I know why I didn’t run away when his parents started acting so weird with me.

It’s because he loves me just the way I love him.

He loves me- it has finally dawned on me. Become clear like night and day; like clear night and day!!!!

After 17 years of being together, I finally know why he’s with me. He loves me.